My grip tighteneds around the neck of my water bottle and I’m not sure why I gripped it so hard. Was it seeing Finn give River a kiss, I mean there’s totally nothing in that kiss. River is 100% in love with Grayson and I know that she and Finn are purely platonic, just like him and Phoebe. And yet that kiss has me so angry that I want to pull her away from him and claim my stake. Shout out that he’s mine. And everyone needs to stay the fuck away from him. Which is crazy because I’m with Trent.
He’s become such an afterthought.
Guilt eats away at me. Because well Trent is a nice guy. He’s a good guy. He’s not like the other jocks on the team. He’s kind, polite and thoughtful. My parents love him, especially my dad. Who sees him as the son he never had. My dad loves going to Trents football games. Cheering for him, telling everyone who will listen that he’s his future son in law. And sometimes I worry that I might only be with him to please my dad. Because being with Trent is easy because it pleases my family. Me not so much.
Trent doesn’t even notice that I fake my orgasms. That I end up more frustrated after sex than before. Trent loves blowjobs but doesn’t like giving head himself. No, Trent will not go down on me because he’s in his words just not that into it. But Trent loves getting his dick sucked. Typical. Man.
Trent doesn’t set me on fire the way Finn does. Because when I see Finn, my entire body comes alive. It’s like I wake up. When he and I would talk on the phone I’d tell him things, open up to him and I knew he didn’t judge me. I’d tell him my fears, my worries, and we could talk about anything. He made me feel relaxed, comfortable and so I opened up to him. I told him about my insecurities. That I worry I’m only following my path because I want to make my dad happy and not because it’s what I actually want. Of course I still want to be a doctor. That hadn’t changed, but I’m not sure if I want to be a heart surgeon. When Finn and I spoke on the phone he pushed me. He challenged me, he asked me what it was that I actually wanted. And so I confessed to him that I wanted to be an ER doctor. I liked being busy, l liked being pushed. I worked better under pressure. But I couldn’t tell my dad that. Because I was frightened that I’d disappoint him.
“So tell me Queen,” Finn purrs in my ear making my eyes snap up to his. His eyes are so beautiful, just like the rest of him really. Their like the Sky after a rain storm. Wild and restless. Just like him.
“Where’s the boyfriend?”
He bites into his full bottom lip, rolling it between his teeth. Before I realise what I’m doing, I mimic him, biting my own bottom lip. His pupils dilate and my breath hitches. The air between us is charged with static electricity. If I reach out and touch him I’m frightened that we’ll combust.
My heart beats wildly in my chest and I wonder if he can hear it? And the worse part, my panties have instantly become wet with how close he is to me. I’m so turned on by him right now. This feeling is so unfamiliar. So new, exciting and forbidden. To feel like this for him when I’ve never felt like this for Trent . I try to clench my thighs together, to try and stop the throbbing ache that’s settled low in my stomach every time I look at him. He looks intensely into my eyes, almost like he’s searching for something before his gaze lowers to my lips.
“He’s an idiot if he let you come alone.” He whispers into my ear. “If you were mine I wouldn’t let you out of my sight.”
I gasp loudly. His words, he can’t say something like that to me. Nor should it excite me. But it does.
Holy fucking shit does it excite me.
“He’s..he’s with Asher.” I stutter out. I wince at how nervous I sound. It’s Finn, the same Finn I’ve been talking to since January. Nothing’s changed.
Except it has. He’s here now in the flesh, no longer just a voice on the other end of the line. No, he’s here in all his breathtaking glory. And that freaks me the fuck out. Because I don’t know if I can trust myself around him.
And worst yet, he knows it. He can see it written all over my face. My inner turmoil, he knows about my insecurities in my relationship with Trent. He knows because I stupidly told him.
“His loss, tell me Queen does he know how wet I make you?”
I inhale sharply. My tongue darts out and licks my bottom lip.
“You can’t say that to me?” I blurt out breathlessly.
“Why not? We both know it’s true. Do you think of me when he’s fucking you? Because I think of you every time I get my dick sucked. I wish it was your beautiful plump lips wrapped around my dick.” His voice is low and husky as he whispers into my ear, his knuckles lightly stroke my neck sending my pulse racing.
“Finn. Please.” I don’t know what it is I’m pleading for or why my voice is nothing more than a breathless whisper. Or why my panties are so freaking wet, I swear I’ve never been like this before. The throbbing between my thighs intensifies.
“Please what Queen?” He whispers. “Please fuck you? Hard, fast and dirty or slow, deep and meaningful? Or please stop? Which one is it Queen?”
I don’t know.
I don’t know which one it is that I want him to do. I close my eyes. I need to leave. I need to leave here now before I ask him to fuck me.
To fuck me the way he promises.
To fuck me the way Trent never has.
The way I want to be fucked.
“I need you to stop please Finn. I want.” I close my eyes and take a step away from him.
“I want you, but I-I have Trent. I can’t.”
His jaw clenches and I can see the tick as he swallows, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his beautiful throat. Everything about him in perfect. Too perfect and too irresistible.
And I know I’m going to cave.
Eventually I’m going to fucking cave and give him everything that he wants from me.
“Ok.” He says as he takes a step away from me. And it pains me to have him so far away from me.
But I just need to think and right now with him near me I can’t.
“Ok Queen. I’ll stop.” He takes another step away and everything feels colder. He’s taking away the light and I don’t like it. But what choice do I have? I can’t be that person. I can’t cheat on Trent, even if I want too.
“Hey Sweetpeach..” He says louder now to get her and River’s attention but his eyes are still fixed on mine. “You coming with me? I’m in the mood for some Pussy tonight, let’s see if we can get you some too.” His words are harsh. Cutting me deep.
“Fuck off Phineas.” She calls back to him but he’s not paying her any attention.
No his gaze is still solely fixed on me and no doubt the hurt written all over my face.
I shake my head slightly, almost as if I’m begging him not to leave. But what right do I have to ask him to stop?
He turns and stalks away from us not even uttering so much as a goodbye to River or Phoebe.
River looks from Finn and then to me and no doubt the look of pain in my face.
“Hey, don’t worry about him. He’s.. I love him but sometimes I forget he can be an asshole.” River attempts to soothe me. “I’m ok to leave if you want?” She turns towards Phoebe and says something to her I can’t quite hear.
I don’t say anything. Because I’m speechless. Because in the distance I can see Finn laughing with some random girl, who looks at him like the Adonis that he is. Her hand is gripping his bicep and she’s laughing at what he’s saying, throwing her head back and he’s soaking it all up. Relishing in the adoration she’s giving him.
I close my eyes take a deep breath and then simply nod my head when River asks me again if I want to leave.
She puts her arm around me as she guides me out.
“It’s ok, he’ll be back.” She says softly.
And truthfully I hope he is.
Once again I’m sorry for the delays in the updates. I’m still struggling with writers block, no doubt due to the current word situation.
I hope everyone is staying safe though?
Thank you to everyone who has liked this new story. Hopefully the next chapter won’t take me as long to write. 😍
Until next time stay safe 🥰
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