Then You Look At Me

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Backseat Straddle

~Could roses bloom?~ Billie Eilish.

Chapter Theme Song: 'Six Feet Under' by Billie Eilish.

(I used that song because I am just so obsessed with it lol. :-) Please listen to it throughout this chapter if you can! The flow and rhythm sets a mood <3.)



I settle with a pair of blue skinny jeans and a simple black T-shirt. Retrieving my purse from the nightstand, I squeeze it into my pocket as Riley steps out of the bathroom. I jerk a thumb in her direction, reassuring her that her pair of black jeans and a blue T-shirt was the right choice. Less is more.

As we emerge onto my porch, a black Honda parked at the gates grabs my attention. Alex waves his hand to us from the driver’s seat and I extend a quizzical gaze to Riley who is grinning euphorically.

“What? I called him. It will be a lot more fun. Let’s go.”

I am positive that the minute Riley roused this morning, Alex was the first person to have crossed her mind. But what can I say? Ansel was the only resident of my thoughts the minute I woke up. His sapphire eyes, the way his lips curve up when he smiles and his beautiful dimples that have my heart missing a beat whenever they make their appearances.

The moment we shared in his room was priceless. I can still feel his lips on every area of my body where he left a kiss. This all feels surreal as if it is merely an illusion, but the symbol of his affection presently adorning my finger is enough to devour the doubt.

Riley scampers down the steps like a toddler in the candy aisle of a supermarket and I am equally as elated.

Alex and Ansel are like a package deal; you rarely see one without the other, so I guess it is safe to conclude that Ansel is probably here as well. Suddenly I am not pleased with my choice of attire; maybe I should have just worn a dress and put a bit more effort into my hair. If I knew that I would be seeing my boyfriend today, I would have invested more time and energy into my appearance.

Alex throws me a toothy smile from the driver’s seat. I return the favor while discreetly glancing over his shoulders. My earlier hopes are demolished when I discover that the front seat is empty.

Where is Ansel?

I try to conceal a frown as I slide into the backseat. Riley hops into the front and Alex wastes no time to latch his lips onto hers, his hand guiding her small head into his affection.

It must be nice.

My smile returns as I gaze out the window, allowing them privacy. They look cute together and I am genuinely elated for my best friend; Alex is a great guy.

“How are you feeling this morning, Rain?” He smiles at me as he juts his fist over his shoulder. I knock mine against his in a fist-bump, shrugging my shoulders. “Not bad I guess.”

Riley reaches over to raise the volume of his stereo. The song: Gangster by Kehlani vibrates through the car as Alex begins his journey down the street.

I squint my eyes at the hot sun hitting my window. The sky is an expanse of sapphire blue, spotted with white fluffy clouds that promises a beautiful day.

If only Ansel was here.

Dropping my gaze to my lap, I idly trace my thumb over the brown band-aid wrapped around my finger. My thoughts are marinating in disappointment and I am perfectly aware that I am already coming off as a clingy girlfriend. Guys don’t like that, do they?

“Oh, by the way, we are picking Ansel up at Tim’s café in town.” I look up as Alex speaks; his mouth set in a knowing smile. “He’s coming to the mall with us, so don’t look so sad, Rain.”

I blush at his statement while Riley chuckles lightly. “Aww, Rain misses her boyfriend.”

I look out the window, nervously swaying loose hair from my eyes. “I wasn’t sad, I have no idea what you guys are talking about.”

Alex laughs, throwing his head back. “Yeah, sure. You looked like a five-year-old who was deprived of candy.”

Riley snickers and I smile, shaking my head.

In no time, Alex pulls up to the curb of Crossview’s Café. The scent of ground coffee beans and milk can be smelt from where we are, and my mouth instantly salivates as I recall the coffee Ansel made me on the first day I came by.

I peer through the tinted glass of Alex’s car, instantly locating Ansel through the transparent walls of the coffee shop. He stands by the counter, obliviously laughing and chatting with Tim whose torso is hidden with a white apron.

His mouth is stuck in a grin as Tim speaks to him, waving his hands around in demonstration while Ansel nods attentively.

A smile forms my face at how handsome he looks. He is wearing a navy-blue button-down with short sleeves and a pair of black jeans. His attire fits his built perfectly as if it were custom-made just for him. He pushes a hand through his hair, his teeth a pearly white as he chuckles again.

It is hard to believe that this perfect human is.... mine.

My smile fades into nonexistence and is replaced with a curious expression as a lady comes onto the scene. She beams brightly while she says something to Ansel who nods to her then reaches down to lift a little girl in his arms. Realization dawns on me as I become aware that it is the same toddler and her mother who I saw on my first visit.

“God, these women just won’t get the message that my brother is seventeen years old.” Alex shakes his head then regards me through his rearview mirror. “There will be a lot of young and older women trying to make a move on Ansel but don’t mind that; he is just good-looking and way too kind for his own good. They have nothing on you, Rain, so rest assured.”

I smile at him. Somehow it feels like he is equipping me with future knowledge that I may need. Alex honks his horn and Ansel turns his face to us, nodding in our direction. He sets the little girl onto her feet then exchange a few words with Tim before he moves toward the exit.

My heart misses a beat as he steps out onto the pavement, a gush of wind swirling his hair around as he plods over to the car.

In the cheesy romance movies, this is the part where the females tend to dab their faces with makeup or rake their hands through their hair self-consciously. Too bad I did not take my face powder with me and my unruly hair is already tied up into a messy bun, thus making it quite inconvenient to prep myself for his arrival. I am not sure how to act around him now that we are finally dating; I am quite inexperienced in this area. What do girls normally do in relationships?

“Alex you came so fast. You didn’t get a ticket on your way here, did you?”

Alex laughs. “I probably did.”

Ansel smiles at Riley who playfully salutes him as he reaches for the handle of the door. I scoot over and grant him space as he slides in next to me, his thigh bumping against mine as he pulls the door up.

His clean, ambrosial scent spans through-out the confined space and I am baffled at how someone can smell this fresh and immaculate.

“Good morning.” He smiles at me then reaches over to kiss me on the mouth. His lips are slightly cool, and his breath is a faint scent of bubble-gum. I will never get accustomed to how soft and smooth his lips are.

My face is copiously red as he pulls away. He salivates his lips before pushing a hand through his hair and the silver promise ring on his finger catches my attention.

It feels good to see that he is also wearing his.

Alex, who is discreetly grinning with Riley, resumes the journey down the street as he turns the music up, allowing us privacy to speak freely.

Ansel’s smile is unwavering, and he looks genuinely happy to see me. That makes two of us.

“I missed you. Did you sleep well?”

I smile. “Yeah, I did. You?”

“Yeah…very well.”

His last two words seem to be hinting at something and his steady gaze on me confirms it as his eyes blaze with sheer affection. My thoughts regress to our heated make-out session last night and the blushes on my face take on a new shade. I bite my lip nervously and his eyes dip to the gesture before they meet mines again.

“So, you had work today?”

“Yeah but I asked Tim for the day off since Alex told me that you guys were meeting up with him and—what happened to your hand?” His brows drop as he pulls my hand in his, inspecting the band-aid on my fingertip.

“I broke two mugs this morning,” I mutter. “It doesn’t hurt though, I am fine.”

Riley who overhears our conversation, glances at us with a strange expression. I can tell she wants to say something but postpones it as she refocuses ahead unassertively.

“Damn, don’t hurt yourself, Rain.” His eyes possess pure benevolence as he says this, and it makes me smile.

“I’m really fine. It’s nothing serious or—”

His lips on my finger cut me off as he kisses the spot, releasing a chunk of heat to my face. The action dispatches a chill throughout my whole body as he flickers his gaze to mine.

“Don’t get hurt again, okay?”

I nod in a trance, my eyes fixed on his hypnotizing pair.

“Yo, An,” Alex speaks above the music, and Ansel turns his focus to him. He hasn’t released my finger yet and is using his thumb to draw circles there.

“You know earlier when Rainey realized that you weren’t in the front seat, she almost cried.” Alex chuckles and my eyes widen. Why would he

I snap my gaze to Ansel, who is already looking at me. He is smiling with delight, his eyes glistening brightly. “Yeah?”

“I did not almost cry, Alex is being very exaggerative.” I try to clarify and Riley laughs.

“Nah, you were very remarkably close to crying, Rain. The teardrops were this close to falling.” She pinches her fingers together for a much not needed visual and I gawp at her in disbelief.

“Riley, whose side are you on?”

“In this case? My boyfriend.” She giggles and Alex laughs, flinging his head back. “Ahah, that’s my girl, come on, high five!”

He extends his hand and Riley slaps it, grinning wildly. “I am sorry, Rain!”

Suddenly, two strong arms encircle my waists and before I know it, I am being pulled onto Ansel’s lap from behind. I gasp audibly and Alex swings his head around causing Ansel to laugh. “Focus on the road Alex, do you want to kill us?”

Ansel seems to have this secret fetish of pulling me onto his lap.

My face is red as I feel his arms wrap around me while he nestles his face into the spine of my back. “You feel good, Rain…”

“Damn, Riley that could be us in the backseat if I weren’t driving.” Alex frowns, then smiles at her. “But don’t worry, later I will give you that and so much more, babe.”

Riley laughs nervously, shaking her head. “You’re something else, Alex.”

“Rain…” Ansel speaks quietly, and I swallow a chunk of air before responding.


“I want to see your face…do you want to turn around?”

I drop my gaze to how my thighs are pressed against his and given the compact space in the backseat, I am not sure if that is possible. But I want to see his beautiful face just as much as he wants to see mine.

I shift around, using the edge of the seat behind him to balance my body. He guides my legs over his so that I am straddling his lap with both of my thighs on either side of his waists.

It is great that I wore jeans and not a summer dress today.

When I finally settle on his thighs, I realize how close our faces end up. My palms that are clutching the edge of the seat, right behind his head, becomes clammy with evidence of my anxiety.

“That’s better…” He says, and I observe how his pink lips raise in a smirk. It is the most handsome sight I have ever seen.

“Put your palms on my shoulders…”

He whispers this loud enough for me to hear but inaudible for Alex and Riley since the music is still roaring through the car. I oblige to his request, instantly feeling the rigidity of his shoulders beneath his shirt.

I am not the only one affected by our intimate position since Ansel’s hard-on makes its presence known by hardening beneath my body. Unintentionally my grip tightens on his shoulders and he smiles, the familiar amusement returning to his orbs.

“You’ll get used to it soon, okay?”

I nod my head shyly. I cannot tell if he means I will get used to sitting on his lap or the feeling of his nature firmly pressing against me.

The apprehension is prominent on my face, serving with a dash of crimsonness that can easily be detected. With the proximity of his body to mine, I would not be surprised if he can see the pores in my face.

“Are you comfortable?” He checks and I open my mouth to respond but his palm that is slipping beneath my shirt shuts me up.

What is he doing? Riley and Alex are right at the front, he can’t be—

Cautiously, I glance behind at the couple who is both bobbing their heads to the music, their palms clasped together as they mind their business.

Ansel’s palms on my bare waists force me to pull my gaze back to him. I spot the look of desire in his eyes as he lays his head against the headrest, his gaze not leaving mines as he gently caresses my skin.

He is just merely touching me in an innocent area, yet it sets my body ablaze. My breathing becomes undefined as my hands grow tangled in his shirt. His hands feel way too good on my skin.

He leans into me but instead of kissing me on the lips, he moves down to my neck. I think Ansel has somehow figured out my weak spot. Whenever he kisses me there, I lose all my senses and cognitive ability while my body begins to operate all on its own.

The first tender brush of his lips causes my eyes to fall shut as I tighten my grip on his shoulders.

“Is this your weak spot, Rain?” He whispers. I am not sure if the question is rhetorical or not, but I am unable to utter a response even if I wanted to. His wet lips that are leaving soft, slow kisses along my neck has knocked out all my intellect.

I swallow sharply as he gropes my waists firmly, eliciting a wave of arousal within me as the familiar wet sensation finds its place between my legs.

What on earth is he doing to me?

I have seen so many sides to Ansel. His studious side, which is always him wearing his glasses and burying his head in a book. Then there is the bad side, where he beats a guy in the school’s bathroom or slice a man’s abdomen with a pocketknife he hides in his shoe.

But this side? This erotic and sensual side of him is new and foreign. He has my heart crazily racing as if I had just inhaled a ridiculous amount of cocaine. The feeling is new to me, but I would not want to come down from this high.

One of his palms leaves my waists to hold the opposite side of my neck and I tilt my head further into his touch, allowing his lips more space and access to my skin.

“I had a dream last night…” He mutters and I nip my lip at how good his mouth feels as it moves against me. “Would you like to know what it was about…?”

My head nods all on its own as if I am now being mind-controlled by this perfect human.

“Me…you…us.” He says this between kisses and my thighs go to press together out of pure arousal, but his sturdy body sits in the way, causing me to slightly arch instead.

“We were this close…and I trailed kisses on your neck, just before…our lips perfectly collide.”

And with that he finally claims my mouth with his, kissing me slow and tenderly as if he wants to savor the moment. His lips splay mine and his tongue makes its entrance, chasing mine in a sweet pursuit of blissful euphoria.

It feels like everything around us has disappeared and we are now the only inhabitants of planet earth. There are no bashful feelings as we are insanely making-out even though my best friend and her boyfriend are sitting just a foot away.

I did not know I could feel this type of ecstasy and I did not know that the person who would release this emotion within me would be Ansel King. It is funny how every day I learn a new side to him and somehow, I feel like there is more to be learned about this beautifully complex human being.

He has my heart, and I do not think I will ever be able to get it back.


❤️~I lost myself again. But I remember you~ Billie Eilish.❤️


✨Thank you so much for your support and for sticking with me from Chapter One (Locker Guy) until now🧡It means a lot and I really appreciate it!! Stay tuned for more and if you like my story, don’t forget to hit that heart/like at the bottom and follow me (if you want to lol) so you can get instant notifications of when I post updates and everything concerning Ansel and Rainey💙

✨Much luv and stay tuned for more!💛


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