Then You Look At Me

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~You’re the first face that I see and the last thing I think about. You’re the reason that I’m alive, you’re what I can’t live without. You never give up when I’m falling apart, your arms are always open wide. And you’re quick to forgive when I make a mistake, you love me in the blink of an eye.~ Plumb.

Chapter Theme Song: ‘Don’t Deserve You’ by Plumb.



During the small argument between Ansel and I, his brothers had congregated at the window, eavesdropping and watching the scene as if it were an interesting movie. When Ansel threw me over his shoulder and began moving in the direction of the porch, they all scattered to the couch to pretend as if they were watching Supernatural the whole time.

They all have bright faces of amusement as Ansel passes by them, my short figure perched on his shoulder as if I am nothing but a light ragdoll.

“Look at that.” Alex grins, splaying his arm over the sofa. “You guys thought I fucked up, but I brought them closer. You two ‘look-alike’ assholes will never see a brother fall. Thank you very much.” He snatches the last of Arden’s ice-cream, frowning when he sees just a small glob of cream in the corner. “You ate the whole bowl, you greedy motherfucker.”

Arden salivates his lips, reaching for the remote. “You didn’t say you want some now, did you?”

Alex deadpans him and he smirks tauntingly, licking his fingers. “It was lovely.”

A barefoot collides with his neck instantly and Arden’s head plunges back from the impact as he gropes the area in awe. “Ow! What the hell, are you a fucking Martian?”

Somehow Alex managed to have kicked his brother in the neck, a victorious grin playing on his lips while Aiden doubles over in laughter.

“Are you a ballerina, Alex? How on earth did your foot even—”

“He’s an alien, that’s what he is.” Arden rubs his neck while Alex laughs victoriously, jerking a middle finger to his brother before walking to the kitchen.

“I’m sure you know where to put that!” Arden retorts, massaging his throat with a grimace. “Damn. He kicks like a motherfucker.”


“Don’t leave, I’m going to get you some tea downstairs, alright?” Ansel wraps a towel around me, and I nod my head, shifting my eyes to Lea who is watching us with an unreadable expression.

“Ensure she doesn’t leave,” he says to her, and she nods, smiling a little. I catch a hint of sadness in her eyes as Ansel quickly leaves the room to get me something warm to drink.

Now that I am left alone with her, the atmosphere has become dense and I stare at my feet to avoid exchanging eye-contact with her.

I hear a soft clear throat as she attempts to start a conversation.

“I have to say, you must truly love Ansel.”

I raise my head to look at her. She is wearing a grey knitted sweater and a jean skirt, her legs folded as she is now sitting on the chair Ansel was priorly on.

“I mean you ran all the way here in your bed-wear. That’s cute.” She titters a little and I drop my gaze to my shorts that are still wet and clinging to my legs. Pulling it down, I don’t bother to suppress a slight eye roll.

I am not sure if her words are genuine, but I honestly could not care less. If she is attempting to be friends with me, it will not happen. I do not like her being around Ansel.

Actually no, I do not like her, period.

“Look…I know it may seem a little…weird, but it isn’t. Ansel didn’t invite me here; I came over on my own and barged my way in here.”

Rubbing my arm, I stare at the floor refusing to offer her any sort of feedback. Eventually, she will get the message and stop talking.

“Ansel loves you,” she continues. “I know this because the whole time I’ve been here, he kept talking about you. I just want to say that you’re really lucky.” Saying this, a sadness laces her tone. “Ansel is an amazing guy. He is one in a million. He’s kind, caring—”

“Then why did you betray him?” I boldly stare her in the eyes and watch as she tenses a bit, her throat moving as she swallows.

“I--I wasn’t supposed to fall for him.” She answers. “I was ordered by my boss—”

“Ron Moretto.”

“Yeah…I used to work as a bug in his camp. And in return, he’d take care of my family and ensure that I am financially stabled. He gave me an order to keep an eye on the king brothers. He particularly told me to capture the heart of Ansel, and that through him, I could sneak myself into their family, you know? But I started liking him, genuinely. Well, love him.”

Her last phrase makes me uneasy, but I repress the jealous emotions as I tilt my head to the side. “How do you betray someone you love?”

She sighs, shifting a little. “It was my job and if I didn’t do it…my family would be in danger. It was unavoidable.”

She’s good because she finally has my attention now.

“What did Ron make you do?”

“He would have me bug their house, so he could listen in on their conversation. He felt that Austin—Ansel’s dad—was still plotting against him after the killing of his brothers. You heard about that, right?”

I nod.

“Yeah, so he wanted to keep tabs on them. But Mr. Austin was not plotting against him anymore. He was trying to live his life like a normal family man, he did not care for Ron Moretto. And he particularly warned his sons not to get involved with matters concerning Ron, so Ansel and his brothers weren’t even thinking of him. But Ron got paranoid one day and decided he wanted to kill them all. Claiming he wants to get to them before they get to him.” Her face becomes emotional now and she lowers her eyes, tears forming within them.

“So, Ron told me to get Ansel to show me where Alaric has his secret drug camp.”

I sigh, shaking my head.

“Ansel trusted me and so one evening I persuaded him to take me there. I met Max, Drake and all their friends, I loved it there. I genuinely felt at home; you know how warm those brothers can be. So, when Ron called me and I slid outside to talk to him, the guilt was building up inside me so strong, and I asked him if he could just reconsider it all.”

I narrow my eyes. “What did he say?”

“You are working, Lea. Do not tell me you have fallen for him. Only an unwise person mixes work with love. Do not enrage me, where do they hang out?”

“He’s a heartless asshole.”

She nods. “Yeah…and so I gave him the address. I tried to warn the brothers that danger was near, but it was too late. Their camp got invaded not even thirty minutes after the phone call with Ron. Luckily, the brothers could defend themselves, but Alaric got shot in the shoulder. Which explains why out of all of them, he probably hates me the most.”

“How long ago was this?”

“Two years ago.”


She exhales heavily. “Ron Moretto’s men had set the place ablaze, so Alaric lost a whole lot of drugs. He wanted to retaliate, but Melissa and Austin love their sons too much to allow them to get involved with Ron Moretto. So, Alaric stopped selling drugs for a while, and after I came clean to them that I was the one who sold them out, they didn’t want to see me again. The only reason Ansel spoke to me at the party was that he wanted information on Ron. Information that he could use to protect you. I told you, Rainey, it’s all about you. He loves you…I can tell.”

I lower my eyes. I love him too.

“After that incident, I told Ron I wanted to stop working for him. Normally, if someone leaves his camp, he kills them because then they’d have too much private information about him, and he doesn’t want them tattle-taling. But he did not kill me, claiming he liked me and that I did a great job at making the king brothers let their guards down. Not everyone can do that, I guess.”

Well, I can.

I ignore the bragging immature thoughts as she continues to speak.

“I heard that he wants you to be his new bug and that he will be back in a month. The reason I came over uninvited today is that I know a few people in the camp. One of them told me that Ron is planning to come into town two days earlier than the allotted time.”

I narrow my eyes.

“He’s like that. He does not stick to his word. He likes to give ‘surprises.’ I figured that information would be useful to you guys so that’s why I came here.”

Nodding my head slowly, I offer her a small ‘thanks.’

“Don’t worry.” She smiles, and surprisingly, it appears genuine. “If there is nothing else that I’m sure of, Ansel will protect you. He won’t let anyone hurt you. I can promise you that much. You have no idea how lucky you are, Rainey.”

I smile a little.

She couldn’t be any more right about that. I don’t know what I did to be awarded someone as amazing as him.

I don’t deserve him, but I’ll gladly accept the gift I am given. Even if it’s once in my life, I deserve happiness too.


~I don’t deserve your love, but you give it to me anyway. Can’t get enough, you’re everything I need. And when I walk away, you take off running and come right after me. It’s what you do, and I don’t deserve you.~ Plumb❤

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