Then You Look At Me

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Every Single Part Of Me

~Born on the wrong side of the ocean with all the tides against you. You never thought you’d be much good for anyone but that’s so far from the truth. I know there’s pain in your heart and you’re covered in scars, wish you could see what I do.~ Skylar Grey.

Chapter Theme Song: ‘Everything I Need’ Skylar Grey.

Warning: Chapter contains mature sexual content.



“I spoke with Ansel’s parents and thanked them for being so welcoming to you. They are nice people. I offered them monetary compensation for their generosity, but they politely declined it. They seem to like you a lot.”

My lips barely lift in a smile as my dad pats my head, placing a small kiss on my forehead. He is now leaving to head to a villa he rented at scheme one of Crossview Close. He will not be departing from the country until a few days, and at that time he will be taking me and Riley with him back to Dubai. He wanted us to stay at the villa tonight, but I told him I wanted to spend as much time as I can with the brothers. He promised he will just be a short distance away and will drop by tomorrow.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come? They have an outside pool and jacuzzi. You girls could even go hang out at the bar or something, not every dad allows his daughter to drink. Or get tattoos.” He taps my nose lightly, tittering humorously to lighten my mood.

I smile, shaking my head. “I wanted to spend a bit more time with them since we’ll be leaving soon.”

He nods in understanding. “They are some really fun boys; I see why you like them so much.” An apologetic look passes over his face and he exhales sharply. “I am so sorry, Rain. I just can’t—”

“It’s okay. I know. I know and I understand. Just give me the weekend with them. I will go to Dubai with you when the time comes.”

A line forms between his brows as he pulls me into his chest. “I love you, Rainey.”

I shut my eyes. “I love you too, dad.”

He sighs as I pull away, slipping his cell from his back pocket to check the time. “It’s now 8:00 pm, go on in; it is cold out. I must rouse early tomorrow to go by the police station. There is a lot of matters to take care of.”

The night air stings my face as I nod my head. He kisses my cheek before stepping through the gates. “Call me if anything, princess.”

“Okay, dad.”

He nods to Marco, who quickly moves over to me and hands me a piece of paper. I look at him quizzically before unfolding the note. It is a series of numbers with his name badly written underneath it.

“Give it to the brothers. They are cool; I would love it if we could be friends.”

My lips stretch in a bright smile. “Sure, I will.”

There is no doubt that the king brothers can manage to capture the heart of even the most immovable person. They truly are five in a million.

Marco renders a friendly beam before moving over to the van and sliding into the driver’s seat. The horn honks as they pull away from the gates and I lamely wave my hand as they vanish out of view.

Breathing heavily, I glance up at the night sky. I am really going to miss it here.


Ansel and I are sitting on his bed in silence. His gaze is bleak and distant as if he has a lot on his mind. The stillness is painful because not talking allows my mind to frantically race with thoughts of my upcoming departure.

I clear my throat, staring at my legs that are tucked underneath me. “You didn’t say anything…”

He looks away from the bathroom door he had been thoughtfully staring at and pulls his gaze to me. “About what?”

I sigh. “Me leaving. Everyone was objecting…but you were oddly quiet.”

The whole time my dad was speaking about taking me with him back to Dubai, I noticed that Ansel kept his head down. He didn’t pitch in a word of protest and it makes me wonder why. Why is he not fighting for me to stay?

His face dulls and he looks away from me. “I just think…it’s best that way.”


I narrow my eyes at his response, and he pushes a hand through his hair. “You’ll be safe with him.”

A soft breath leaves me, and I drop my gaze to the floor as my heart follows suit. Wow.

I swallow. “Is that all you have to say?”

He breathes, shifting his face to me. “What else am I supposed to say, Rain?”


I stare at him and he averts his gaze. My eyes are getting wet as I bite my lip. It should not be this easy for him to let me go. He should at least fight against it, make me feel like this is bothering him as much as it’s bothering me.

“Maybe you could say… ‘don’t leave, stay with me’?”

He shakes his head, refusing to meet my glossy eyes. “I can’t--I can’t say that.”

“Why not?”

“You should just go, Rainey. That’d be best.”

Is Ansel saying this to me right now?

I shake my head, simpering in disbelief. “I am in way deeper…” I rise from the bed with a hand pressed to my head, and Ansel looks at me with knitted brows.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I feel like I am just way more attached to you than you are to me.” I turn around to face him, wrapping my arms around myself. “I…probably love you a whole lot more than you love me.”

Pain flashes across his face and he conjures up from the bed. “Rainey that’s not it—”

“Then tell me to stay.” My tone is desperate and my voice, friable. I glance heavenward. “Just please… at least tell me to stay, Ansel.”

“I can’t do that. I think you’ll be more protected if you stay with your dad. You should go…I will stay here and deal with Ron Moretto.”

My thoughts instantly travel back to the words he uttered the other night.

“I will protect you from Ron Moretto. Even if it means dying in the process.”

I shake my head defiantly. “No.”

“What do you mean, no?”

“I can’t leave you here to deal with Ron Moretto, this my battle.” I point at my chest.

“Rainey, this is my battle too. Ron has done a lot to our family, and the reason he is targeting you isn’t solely because of Kendra. He knows you’re important to us, to me, and he wants to destroy everything that has to do with our family. I think it’s best if you go…”

A tear slip down my face and I press my back against his door, burying my face into my hands. I smell the clean scent of him as his presence appears in front of me, attempting to lift my face but I pull away from him.

“I love you, Rainey.” He breathes.

“If you love me then let me fight this with you.” My voice is muffled by my hands. “Let me stay by your side if you love me…”

Ansel sighs. “I want you here…but I can’t allow you to stay here.”

A soft sob escapes and I bite my lip, painfully pressing my hand against my drenched eyes. Ansel’s face softens helplessly as he attempts to peel my hands away.


“I am fine…”

“Look at me please.”

“Just leave me, Ansel.”

“I can’t do that.” He respires deeply. “It drives me crazy to see you like this.”

Because of my reluctance in removing my hands, Ansel settles with a different approach. He lifts me by my waists, and my legs reflexively snake around him while my fingers lace around his nape, revealing glassy and heartbroken eyes. His hands settle under my bottom to keep me upright, and he stares up at me with love and care within his blue orbs.

“I love you so much, Rain.” He whispers, each word assertive and sincere as they leave his pink lips. “I love you like crazy. And I don’t want you to get hurt…I don’t. I would never forgive myself. I can’t lose you; you mean the world to me.”

I fight back further tears, and he raises me higher as his forehead creases in worry. “Do you believe me?”

How can I not? It is all written in his eyes.

“Yes…” I sniffle. “I do…”

He tries to smile, then spins with me toward his bed, gently laying my back against the mattress while he hovers over me.

“I hate to see you cry.” He uses a palm to wipe my eyes. “I want you to trust me, Rain. Everything will be okay and we’ll both be alright, yeah?”

I nod my head, bringing a hand up to dab my tear-stained cheeks. He takes my hand in his and presses it to his lips, shutting his eyes. When he reopens them, the desire and passion within them have drastically heightened.

Interlacing our fingers, he presses my hand above my head as he brings his head down. Grazing my lips with his, his jaws tenses as my breath gets stuck in my throat. I lift my head, my eyes peering into his, wordlessly pleading for him to kiss me. Taking the hint, he latches his sweet lips onto mine.

The kiss is relaxed and unhurried, evoking an intense yearn within us. His mouth parts my shaking lips, his hot and urgent tongue making its entry as he gently cradles my jaw.

It feels like my soul is being opened. Every sweep of his tongue, every nip of my lower lip feels as if I am floating on white puffy clouds, unable to feel my feet and slowly being pulled from reality and into the sweet blissful world of euphoria.

As his lips toy with mine, his hand leaves my jaw and trails lower to gently caress the curves of my hip. Sliding beneath my shirt, he strokes my bare waistline, his lips leaving mine to nip at the sensitive skin of my neck. Tilting my head, my eyes shut as his lips suckle and gently bites into my skin, leaving the flesh tender and red.

He pulls his head up to look at me and I search his eyes. His gaze is fomenting, burning into mine ravenously. My throat moves as I gulp.

“Do you want us to?” He whispers, and my cheeks flame up at the meaning of those words. My heartbeat increases as I take a deep breath, nodding my head.


“Are you sure?” He begins to fiddle with the first button of my sleeveless button-downs.

“I am sure.” My throat has lost all moisture and adrenaline is bursting through my veins.

He uses one hand to undo my button and I drop my gaze to watch his fingers as he does. The simple action raises my anxiety as I brace myself for what we are about to do.

He keeps his eyes on me while he pulls my shirt off, my bra following immediately after. I lay half-naked beneath his gaze as he bathes in the sight of my nudity. He gropes one of my breasts, his lips finding mine again as he rolls my aroused nipple on the pad of his thumb. Severely aroused, I bite down onto my lip. He kisses down to my chest, capturing one of my globes into his mouth, nipping and kissing it as he strokes my opposite nub. He pulls at my nipple, grazing it with his teeth before kissing around the flushed skin of my areola.

He sits up quickly, settling onto his knees. In a swift action, he drags his shirt over his head, throwing it somewhere. He whips his hair back into place, his sturdy chest now in view, only ornamented with his silver necklace. His defined pecs are bold and dominant, and my eyes are fixed on them while he hooks his fingers into the hem of my shorts.

Kissing my bare stomach, he pulls them down along with my underwear. The cold air from his window slaps my exposed legs, and I feel a rush of insecurity settling in.

The thought of Ansel seeing that part of me makes me quite uneasy.

The soles of my feet are flat against his bed, my knees arched upward. Nipping my lip, I press my thighs together reluctantly. Ansel smiles at this, his palms settling on my knees as his eyes shine with admiration.

“It’s okay…I adore every inch of you, Rain.”

I try to relax, blowing my cheeks out, and lifting my eyes to the ceiling.

Count the cracks in the roof, Rain. The cracks.

But that offers no amount of distraction. My lashes flutter nervously as he gently pries my thighs apart, his eyes settling on that sacred place between my legs.

Now that my femininity is open to his inspection, I shut my eyes apprehensively. There is a soft open-mouth kiss to my knee, his lips wet and cool against my skin.

“You’re so flawless, Rain…so perfect.”

I feel his fingertips begin to trail along my entrance, and I gasp involuntarily, crumpling his duvet in my palms. I squeeze my eyes tightly as he begins to rub me back and forth. Slow. Rhythmic. He’s barely touching me at all, but the desire within me starts spiraling out of control.

He places his lips on the inside of my creamy thigh, his fingers continuing its sweet pattern as he watches me. Parting me. Toying with me. Until I have no choice but to writhe against the sheets. I dig my teeth into my lips to fight off a moan.

His thumb finds the southern nub at the top of my sex, and he gently moves his finger over it, sending an electrifying sensation throughout my whole body. A moan slips out and shockwaves pulses through my entire being as my legs jerk in response. With a gentle nudge, he slips a finger inside me, then another, causing me to breathe out harshly as I buck my legs. He strokes me slowly a few times before he bends one of his fingers inside at that oddly intense spot.

I gasp, propping up onto my elbows. I gawp at him with red parted lips and bewildered eyes as he gazes at me mesmerizingly. The last time he did that, I felt like my soul was leaving my body, now this time the effect is ten times stronger.

He moves his finger in small circles there and I hold my breath. This feels so…unnatural. Wonderfully unnatural.

“Ah, wh-where are you…touching…?” I am panting, and Ansel places a kiss on the inside of my thigh.

“It’s your G-spot, Rain.”

He applies more pressure and I flump against his pillows, my chest heaving in short breaths. I close my eyes firmly, a tight feeling building in my stomach.

“Do you like it?” He utters, and I nod my head rapidly, my breathing becoming dangerously irregular.

“Yes, …it’s just..”

“Just what?”


Overwhelming is an understatement.

He speeds up his movements and I feel like I am soaring through the galaxy. Quaking. Shuddering. Whimpering. “Ansel.”

“Come for me, Rain…” He comes up to connect our lips, his fingers still moving expertly against me. In and out, occasionally circling the nub at the top. I clutch onto his bicep, my body trembling uncontrollably. I am unable to kiss him back since my brain has become sentimental, and Ansel just kisses my open mouth as he increases pressure. My eyes flutter shut as a wave of pleasure ripples through my body, leaving me gasping and heaving and repeating his name like a broken record. He drowns my loud moans with a deep kiss as I bask in the tranquility, unable to open my eyes because of the intensity.

I feel his presence pull away from me, and I open heavy orbs to see him standing at the edge of the bed. With intoxicating eyes positioned on me, he hooks his fingers under the hem of his shorts and pulls it down. I become more crimson as I watch him steadily. He is now only wearing a black Calvin Klein boxer, and his thighs are smooth and firm as he steps out of his shorts. The evidence of his arousal is unyielding and bold, and fear instantly wells within me. He tugs down the last of his garment and the prominent sight of his bare manhood makes my breath hitch in my throat.



I realize that what I had told Riley was correct and anxiety courses through me. Seeing the fear in my orbs, Ansel joins me back on the bed, lowering his body onto mine and pressing a kiss to my forehead.

“I won’t hurt you,” he promises.

I smile a little, nodding my head. He reaches over to his drawer and pulls out the top section, retrieving a square shiny packet. He tears it with his teeth, and I ogle him nervously as he pulls the creamy rubber from it.

Meeting my terrified gaze, he uses a palm to keep his weight above me before dropping his gaze to slide the protection onto his length. His hair tickles my face and the cool feel of his necklace grazes my chest.

I am breathing unevenly and erratically as he raises his head to look me in the eyes. His gaze is heart-melting, causing a knot to form in my stomach.

“I love you so much, Rain…”

My eyes sting with tears at the sincerity dripping from his tone. “I love you too…”

His lips quirk up in a smile as he settles between my legs. The foreign feel of his nature brushing against my inner thighs makes me shudder as he positions himself at my entrance.

My chest rises in a breath and Ansel sees the trepidation.

“It might hurt, but tell me if you want me to stop, okay?”

“Okay…” I blow my cheeks out.

“Kiss me…” He presses his lips onto mine, perhaps to offer some form of distraction. He continues to kiss me fervently, then in a firm, yet somehow gentle movement, he eases his length into me.

I gasp, our mouths breaking apart at the strong surge of pain shooting through my pelvis. It feels like something inside me has been torn away or apart and my body shakes from the impact.

Ansel hushes me, kissing me on the lips. “Did I hurt you?”

I shake my head, the corner of my eyes pricking with tears. I dip my eyes between us, realizing that he is not yet all the way in.

“Do you want us to stop?”

“No…” I manage to say. “It-it doesn’t hurt that much…”

Those words are lies. I have never experienced anything this painful in my entire life. It is just as painful as the myths said. But I don’t want him to stop. I want him; all of him.

His lower lip is stacked between his teeth, beads of sweat racing down his forehead and onto his chest. He is glowing under the dim room lamp, his eyes whirling like a tornado. He rocks further into me. Filling me as my body painfully adjusts to the new intrusion. I bite my lip and he softly hums, shutting his eyes and rolling his head back.

“You okay?” He breathes out, and I nod as he lowers his head to kiss me again. He begins to rock to and fro, gently and unrushed to give me time to adjust. He kisses my forehead, my nose, and then the tears at the corner of my eyes. His length slides in and out of me in a passionate rhythm, and I feel the pain gradually departing.

With his hips slowly rolling against mine, our breathing mutually grows. Ansel’s eyes burn into mine, his fingers trailing a pathway from my neck to my chest as he moves against me. Need rises within me and I find myself lifting my hips to meet his thrusts. It begins to feel breathtakingly good and my legs fall farther apart all on their own. Giving myself completely to him.

He locks our gazes, and small gasps leave my lips at every firm entry. I take notice of the way he bites his lip every time he enters me, and how his jaws clench tight whenever he pulls back. The hypnotic sight of him is sending me faster toward my peak of pleasure.

“Don’t ever say that again…” He presses his forehead against mine, his strokes drastically increasing. “Don’t-ever-say-that I don’t love you as much as you love me…”

I can only moan a response as my head rolls back, my fingernails sinking into his arms. His hips are now meeting mine with firm thrusts as he grips my chin, bringing it down so I meet hazy eyes.

“Promise me…”

“I-I promise…” I gasp out, our grunts and moans filling the room. Slick and hot he grinds into me; perspirations sparkling his unblemished skin. There is still a small sting present, but the pleasure greatly outweighs it.

This is unreal. The way he is making me feel is incredibly ethereal. I feel like we are becoming one like our souls are melding and molding together. He buries his face into the crook of my neck, his breath wild and raspy against my skin. If I were uncertain of my feelings for him before, this moment would be the solid proof. My heart is swelling, exploding, with so many emotions. Ansel is touching my soul, bringing me to a place I’ll never be able to come back from.

He begins to delve deeper, one hand cradling my jaw while the other presses into his bed. I moan loudly, wrapping my thighs around him and tethering him closer. Our movements are sentimental now, losing ourselves in each other. He’s slamming into me relentlessly as he kisses me hard, and I claw at his back, feeling my climax strongly approaching. My lips fall apart, and he crashes his forehead on mine, warm air passing through our mouths. The pleasure begins to sore higher, and I bury my head in his wet neck, my body quivering like I am running a fever. “A-Ansel.” My voice is muffled by his skin and he positions his palm under my head, holding me to him as he pummels into me.

“I love you, Rain. God, I love you so much…” He breathes out.

I whimper against him, my tears melding with the sweat on his skin.

“You know that, right?” He says this between breaths, and I nod my head, our bodies now moving tightly together.

Higher and higher. I am almost there, and he too because his movements are becoming demanding and eager. Ansel then delivers a dominant thrust that sends me relishing into a sea of intense pleasure. Crying out into his chest, my body shudders as he clutches me to him. He pulls my head from his neck and crashes his lips onto mine, his strokes speeding up until he groans inside my mouth, his body tensing slightly as he convulses inside me.

His movements gradually slow until he stops completely, collapsing on top of me with sweat dripping from his hair. I can hear the heavy thumping of his heart, my eyes screwed shut as my body relaxes in small quakes.

My heart is without a doubt all his now. I’ll never be able to come back from where he just took me.

Ansel lets out a breath then pulls out of me and I wince at the loss of contact, a small sting returning to the area between my legs. He disposes of the used protection while my eyes burn with tears, not because of the ache but because my feelings for him have leveled up drastically.

I love him so much, and I don’t want to leave.

A soft sob pulls his attention in my direction, and his brows draw together in worry.

“Hey…you alright?” He moves closer to me, perturbation fixed on his features. His hair is damp, and his body is still wet with perspiration. “Why are you crying, did I hurt you?”

I shake my head, putting a palm to my face.

“Then what is it, mm?” He pulls me into his arms, kissing my forehead. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing…” I mutter. “I just love you…a lot.”

His gaze softens, and he smiles, a small hint of sadness in his eyes. “I love you too, Rain. We’ll be alright, don’t worry about it, okay?”

I nod my head, and he pulls me closer to his hard chest. I wrap my arms around him and firmly shut my eyes.

I wish time could stop here. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, and I am still uncertain if we’ll have a happy ending. But all I know is that he’s my whole world, and I love him with every single part of me.


~Everything you are is everything I need.~ Skylar Grey.


We are boiling down. Closer and closer to the end❤❤Thanks for staying with me, ILY❤❤

Please do check out the theme song for this chapter, it’s really nice🙂.

Stay tuned for more and if you like my story, even a tiny bit, don’t forget to hit the heart/like at the bottom. And follow me if you want to so you can get instant notifs of when I post updates and everything concerning Ansel and Rainey❤

P.S: If you’d like to you can also check out my short texting/dialogue story: ‘Friendzoned’ in the meantime, if you haven’t already. It’s a light and quick read, nothing serious.

Much much love and stay tuned for more!


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