Then You Look At Me

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I Love You To Death

~I don’t come close to an angel. And you ain’t never been no kind of saint. But when we both came together, hell to heaven, you were my escape. But fires don’t burn forever and all these ashes crumble when we touch. We danced to death in the fire. What can we do now that the music’s done, my love?~ Jessie Reyez.

Chapter Theme Song: ‘Rush’ by Lewis Capaldi ft. Jessie Reyez.

A/N: Heyy, pleasee listen the above song throughout this chapter! If you're on Wattpad I have placed it at the top so you can listen it there if you'd like to :). Much love! x


Three Weeks Later


Ansel’s head snaps in my direction and I shrink in my seat, heat rising to my rosy cheeks. Our gazes connect for the third time today and we are just exchanging glares for a few seconds.

"I meant the book..." I quickly defend, “that you’re reading..."

His lips pull back in a smile, showcasing deep dimples on either cheek.

“I can see that.” He finally speaks and I smile a little, averting my eyes to my tray.

“Have you finished it yet?” He shifts his body in my direction.

“Yeah, I have. Like ten times.”

He laughs deeply and the sound is melodic. “Well, I am just in Chapter Twenty.”

“Oh, you’re almost there.” I jerk him a thumbs up and he smiles and shakes his head.

I look away and reach for my apple.

“So, do you like it?” He asks again.

I nod. “I do actually, a lot. It reminds me so much of myself.”

He tilts his head to the side, “Why’s that?”

“Well...I guess I can relate to the protagonist.” I half-shrug.

A glint of curiosity flashes across his eyes and he surpasses it and just smiles. “Oh, that’s deep.”


Tears bleed from Rainey’s closed eyes as the memory of the first day she met Ansel replays vividly in her dreams.

His eyes shine with admiration; something she did not notice at that moment. It is as if he had loved her all along, from the moment they made eye-contact through her locker mirror.

His beam is radiantly appealing and a lot more blinding in her flashback; so blinding that she can literally see its pungent glares.

Her dream drifts into a state of consciousness and her forehead wrinkles as she slowly opens heavy eyes. Ansel’s bright smile was only the flare of the hot sun, projecting onto her face from the light blue hospital blinds. Her heart sinks.

“She’s awake.”

Riley’s relieved voice ushers Rainey in a state of awareness as her eyes settle onto the anxious faces in front of her.

“Are you alright?” Alex worries. “You have been unconscious for three weeks.”

“Rain, I am so happy you’re awake.” Riley purses her lips in a sad smile.

A weak Rainey slowly cast her gaze among the people standing over her. Riley, Alaric, Alex, Aiden, Arden...where’s Ansel?

Her face squeezes in heartache and she drops her eyes to the IV needle in her hand. Painfully tugging at it as cold tears gush down her face.

Alaric quickly runs over, resting his hand over hers. “No, don’t do that, Rain. Your dad went to get some fruits for you, okay?”

He sits next to her and she tries to sit up, grimacing as she finally manages to prop herself up on one elbow. The brothers watch her with sorrowful eyes. She has lost weight to the point that her collarbones have sunken into two deep holes. She looks tiny in the blue pajamas and her lips are cracked and pale.

“Ansel,” she says, and everyone tenses up. “Where is he?” She moistens her parched throat by swallowing. When she fails to get an answer, she looks among them expectantly. Their expressions are the same; downcasted and sympathetic.

“Rainey...get some rest,” Alaric advises her. “You don’t look so good. Later when you wake up, we’ll tell you, alright?”

She shakes her head, her breathing short and improper. She gropes her bandaged head, and they watch as her small fingers tremble.

“He fell off the cliff...and I haven’t seen him since. I was supposed to save him...” Her forehead wrinkles in difficulty as she tries to think back. “I--I just need to see him.”

Riley is close to weeping as she watches her best friend.

Alaric sighs and grips Rainey’s shoulders, frowning at how skinny they are. “Get some rest.”

She wriggles away. “Just let me see Ansel, please. That’s all I want. Where is he?”

Grief lays its bed in Alaric’s eyes and he silently stares at her as she waits for a response. Her stomach drops at the look on his face and she shakes her head.

“No...” She mutters. “No, just please let me see him...”

He chews on his lip, dropping his eyes in disconsolation. The tight feeling in her throat becomes almost suffocating and she intakes a short breath, gripping the sheets in her palms. She looks among the five blue faces. “Why won’t anyone let me see him?”

“I am sorry, Rainey,” Alaric whispers, staring down at the bedlinens. She looks back to him with googly-eyes. “We...buried him last week.”

Riley is now crying, and Alex brings his arms around her, pressing his chin to her head as she sobs into his shirt.

Rainey shakes her head in denial.

Surely this is a joke, right?

“No...” Tears blur her vision. “No...don’t lie to me, please.”

Her eyes glaze over the twins, hoping they would offer a different report, but Arden turns away and Aiden keeps his head down in discontentment.

“Rainey, rest.” Alaric grips her shoulders in a bid to lay her down, but she shrugs his hands away. She starts to frantically pull at the needle in her hand, trying to get it out as blood soaks through the white tape.

“Don’t do that, Rainey.” He frowns, grabbing her hand but she pushes him away.

“Leave me alone!” She screams. “He’s not dead. I am going to find him!”

As she throws the covers off her and attempts to get up, Alaric uses his hand to bar her from getting off the bed. “You need rest, or you’ll hurt yourself.”

“Move...please,” she pushes at his arm, but it doesn’t budge an inch and the tears level up drastically from frustration. “Let me go find him! I don’t believe you, I just need to find him, I just need to see--just let me...”

She beats at his arm then motions to get off from the opposite side when he presses his other palm beside her; now trapping her in. She tries to tear his bicep away but when that is of no success, she beats at his chest with every strength within her. For a female of her caliber, the blows to the young adult’s body feel more like a sumo wrestler’s as opposed to a 5′4 girl. Alaric shuts his eyes and accepts the heavy thumps to his torso as she writhes inside the cage he created.


Arden decides he cannot watch and leaves the room emotionally while Riley is crying at every broken wail that escapes her best friend.

Rainey screams out, ceasing her assault on Alaric and delivering the hit to her chest instead as if her heart is severely in pain. Alaric attempts to grab her hand, but she pulls away and crouches over against the bed, wailing into the sheets as she shakes her head repeatedly. “I can’t live without him; I can’t go on without him....he’s not dead, don’t lie to me...”

Alaric removes his hands and presses a palm to his forehead in misery.

“Why did you do that for me...?” She whimpers. “Why would you sacrifice yourself for me?” Her words are almost incoherent, stifled by the pillow that she is now pressing her face into.

Alaric gets up, running a hand over his face while Aiden takes his place, gently pulling Rainey up. He wraps his arms around her, and she cries loudly against him, her tears saturating his black pullover.

The room is filled with the screams and suffering of the mourning girl who’s painfully reliving the traumatic moments.

She doesn’t believe he’s dead. He can never be dead.


“It seems it’s going to rain, sir.” Moscow glances at his boss through the top mirror of the car, and Ron Moretto pulls his gaze from the bleak skies above and nods in acknowledgment.

“I’ll need you to do some background checks on that man at the cliff,” he orders.

“Which one sir?”

“The one that was in the blue tuxedo. He was with Austin and this Asian-looking guy. The one who resembles Rainey Slate.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Did the men report back to you whether they found Ansel or not?” Ron checks, using his thumb to fondle the ring on his forefinger.

“Yes sir, they said his family confirmed him as dead.”

Ron cackles, shaking his head as he looks out his window. Light rain forms pathways against the glass as he watches them trickle down with a smirk on his face.

“What is it, sir?” Moscow quickly regards him from a side view.

“Ansel is not dead.” He sighs, his smile resolving into a thin line.

The chauffeur tilts his head with crinkled brows. “How are you so sure?”

His boss gives him a look, and he lowers his chin apologetically. “Sorry, sir.”

“Don’t fucking question my analytics.”

“Won’t happen again, sir.”

Ron’s chest rises in a breath as he cricks his neck. “You people don’t know that boy. He is slippery and way too smart to die that easily.”

“If I may ask, sir, are you saying they could be hiding something?”

Ron lifts his palm, gazing thoughtfully at the skull jewelry encircling his finger. “Presumably. I am almost positive that the King family has something up their sleeves; I’ll have to keep my eyes open.”


~I miss the tone of your heartbeat. It’s such a warming and familiar sound.~ Lewis Capaldi.

Two more chapters down!! Don’t worry, it’s still not over yet, stay with me

If you like my story, even a tiny bit, don’t forget to click that heart/like at the bottom.

Much much love!!(づ ̄ 3)


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