She wore stress on her face all day, when she went to school, came to work, went home. Trying to hide it behind a fake smile, under bagged eyes, but Emily knows her best. On the couch in their apartment they watched Doctor Who, a show they had binged-watched from season one all the way thru, currently on the last episodes of the series ten. They were eager to see the newest Doctor, rumored to be a woman, air in the next year. Emily leaned forward and grabbed the remote, pausing the show which was a clear indication that the talk about to occur was serious.
“What’s wrong?” Emily reached her arm behind Kira.
“Yesterday...” Kira began refusing to try to weasel her way out of the conversation, “I ran into Catherine and Elisabeth...”
Saying their names brought pain, a swarm of emotions in her chest that caused further unsettlement. Emily also felt unrest, not for their presence, but for Kira’s unhappiness. It was a mutual agreement to never speak of the past—of that house—because it brought an unnatural twist of warmth and chill.
“I didn’t even realize at first.” She sighed, “Not until Catherine grabbed my shoulder and Elisabeth practically bulldozed me.”
Kira leaned on Emily’s shoulder, she nuzzled her face into it then became softer in volume, “I lied to them...”
“You had no choice—”
“I did have a choice!” Kira clenched Emily’s sleeve, “I wanted to lie, I wanted our lives to stay the same! This life you built us, I love everyday of it, I love living with you. I never thought I would have a chance at a something like this—I don’t ever want to lose it.”
Emily smiled and placed her hand on Kira, stroking her gently she embraced her lover again. Hearing it every time was a beautiful as the first—the woman she loved with all her heart. Though her heart was already held by another, Emily was proud to remain the other half of it. A time may come when Kira is given a chance to return to that place, to return to the Nation and to stay beside that person once again, but that is not something that can return to how it once was. This is the life Kira wants now, a soon-to-graduate high schooler with acceptance to a community college to pursue a future career in music education. She was never the best at studying but living with an immortal vampire who possesses five bachelors, three masters and two doctorates has its benefits. This was living, her living and it was a life neither of them was willing to let go, not for anything.
The doctor had passing thoughts, fears, of the chance that Kira could be forgiven by that person. What would Kira do, the faith Emily had in Kira was unwavering, as was the human’s live in the vampire, but her connection, her bond with that person was no doubt stronger. Kira had a strong will against the actions of that person for years, but even a strong will can be weathered down. Emily knew Kira was not only resisting the feelings of another, but her own as well making it further difficult once the walls she built around those feelings began to topple down. Now they were locked away, overpowered by her feelings for the doctor, but if even a single slip Emily feared their bottle-ment would spell the end of this life they built. Love is a powerful emotion.
“I want things to stay just as they are.” Kira wrapped her arms tightly around Emily.
Emily rubbed her hand up and down Kira’s arm, “That would mean us being together forever.”
Kira’s mood lightens greatly, a reunion of old memories would not faze her. Not seeing her mothers, not seeing Jake; no matter who came back from the dead past they would not change the person she is today. There are no chains, no titles, nothing will curse her to the whims of another. Kira slipped onto Emily’s lap and let out a sigh. Being together forever (or at least as long as Kira lived) was the dream come true, was all she wanted and needed. Emily came closer to Kira’s ear then whispered:
“If I asked…” Emily asked quietly, “Would you marry me?”
Without hesitation, “Yes.” Kira sat up and kissed Emily. In turn the vampire embraced in lust and passion and took the both to their bedroom. Clothes were off in an instant and the sheets kicked to the floor for the heat produced was incredible.
Catherine followed the raven-haired girl after school and to the book store she went by daily. She had not noticed her presence, strange considering last they met her senses were so heightened she found the intruders before most vampires. Also, into account of that most entertaining rampage it cannot be believed that those two are the same person, but the tattoo confirms it. It could be memory loss--Purebloods have been known to alter memories--a servant would not talk to a noble as she had--they would lose their heads. The girl left the book shop and traveled to an abandoned warehouse where for only a moment Catherine lost sight of her; a turn to the corner rendered a blade to her throat.
“You have a bad habit of showing up where you’re not wanted.”
Catherine laughed—what a change of character. A scared little girl who hid behind her lover now dared to aim a blade at a vampire’s throat without hesitation. What could have been so bad that she would change to not only lie, but attack any who threatened her?
Catherine laughs once in amusement, “Says the cursed servant—”
The blade is pressed harder against her throat, drawing blood, “Think again bitch.”
Catherine vanished then reappeared behind, but Kira wasn’t the least surprised, she had expected such a thing. Vampires are predictable, when they attack a human they always go for a blind spot—toying with prey. It takes a very old and well-trained vampire to get away from a natural instinct. Kira holstered the weapon to its place under her coat and to the rear of her hip.
“For a moment I thought you were actually going to try to kill me.” The vampire smiled, displaying her fiendish fangs.
“And bring whoever you’re working with down on me?” Kira crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, “No thanks.”
Catherine smiled devilishly, “You’re smarter than you look, for a puppet.”
Kira gave a hateful glare and gestured her hands to leave. There would be no mentioning of ‘that person’ because they don’t acknowledge one another’s existence anymore. Kira wanted nothing to do with them, nor what they were dragging humans into—she wanted to live her own life with Emily and far from their wars.
“Oh? Is someone angry because their puppeteer no longer wanted them?” Catherine hummed.
“Hardly, I got to be rid of annoyances like you.”
Catherine rather enjoyed these petty insults, coming from a scared little human who has no conscious of death. At least she had done her homework, not bad, not because she was a human, but because inside she had a flicker of hatred that could very easily blossom into a fire of rage. Kira began to walk away.
She would have otherwise disposed of this vermin, but was instructed else, “Why he keeps you around is beyond me.”
She vanished, leaving Kira in a state of shock—what she uttered...a member...of Syndicate? Kira left it be for now; Catherine was long gone and would not risk showing her face again. Hopefully this time they would never meet again. Going home seemed pointless; homework; Emily’s at work; even Eon is still running around finding dead things to being back.
Going to the park, regardless of the cold being alone in the breeze would bring some clarity and if all else failed she could run around the Red-Light District and hang at the bar. What can I do besides ignore it? She doesn’t belong in a war that was never here to fight and being beside Emily is more than enough to make her happy; college; family; a life to live the rest of her days. Still she could never let go of the past, no matter how much she buried there would always be a part sticking up and out--the only part she subconsciously wanted to hold onto. She had the choice, but it was like living with a knife to her neck; if she let go she was afraid the person that existed until now would die. I have nothing to do with them—I just have to forget...again. Forgetting someone who gave so much to remember...it would mean forgetting herself and Emily. She would endure it; pain of a broken heart; being torn apart bit by bit for the sake of someone who doesn’t hold a place for her anymore.
Kira let the snow collect on her shoulders as she sat on the swing. She went to the bar and managed a few sips of alcohol, though a lightweight, and passed out quickly. Emily brought her home, set her on the bed and remained awake for the nightmares to come.
Kira stood in the very void that nearly claimed her the first time. This place, in the darkest part of her mind, was where she relived the events of becoming something inhuman. Eyes of crimson; crumbling bits of skin where the signal’s power burned at the raw power of a Ghoul; the personification of evil. Kira watched from the eyes of nobody, reliving this nightmare with no control over herself—she wasn’t even in her body. Her ghoul-self attacked protected ‘that person’ she fought over and over and over with breaking bones; feeling every part of her rip and break and heal all at once. There was nothing, only muscle memory the instinct to fight for no reason. Vampires were pulled apart by the ghoul and what made Kira sick was the ghoul’s unsatisfied hunger for blood and flesh—she ‘ate’ them.
It was said a vampire’s gift, if they had one, reflected their soul or the lack of one. What does that say about a Ghoul—a human who failed to become a vampire? This thing, this insanity...was this what lied in her heart? Destruction, death, suffering...Kira doesn’t understand what it means to be a vampire and noted she never will. She denied it, this was not her, this was the result of ‘that person’s’ blood going out of control. It was protecting Kira, its vessel, not ‘that person’ and for that, it was the only reason she would have attacked those so-called friends. To her ghoul-self all vampires are the enemy. But Kira is not a Ghoul, she is not a vampire; slave; a free and alive and human. Nonetheless she could not take her eyes away, not from the demon whose lips soaked red and a mouth with a sliver of flesh hanging from it.
It looked at her and she looked at it; a mirror because after all they were the same person. As she squirmed fearfully in bed, Emily kept her close, embraced her until the nightmare ended. Once the shaking had ceased and Kira returned to peace Emily to drifted off. The human awoke and wondered into the living room because she was now wide awake, with no memory of the dream. Her neck throbbed, but that was only stress—she would not feel it burn and suffocate again because it was only a tattoo now. Kira sat on the windowsill and stared out toward an illuminated London. What’s the point of wishing something to go away when its already dead and rotting away what’s left of you?