I slam the door to my room with the loudest sound as my lips can’t leave Lexi’s and my body is pulsing with energy I never thought I could muster. From being horny. Craving forher. Desire is eating my brains, stopping me from thinking soberly. She’s a drug, intoxicating me with her touch.
We couldn’t stop kissing back in the cab, while we were going up with the elevator, all the way to my hotel room, almost tearing our clothes off. Like we were glued to each other, as if even a little distance would destroy both of us. Probably it wouldn’t; but I never felt that kind of desire that I feel for Lexi.
Her lips are fire, burning my skin everywhere it touched, and with every second I feel like I’m going to explode. The way she kisses me is just impossible to explain; with such passion, such roughness; since the moment our lips melted together I forgot that I need oxygen to breathe.
And now I breathe her. She’s my oxygen.
We hit to the wall, trying to find a light switch which we actually don’t need; but I was lying if I told that I don’t want to see her whole body, all naked, to kiss every square inch of it and enjoy her soft skin until the sunrise.
I reach for the soft skin of her neck, slamming her alluring body to the wall; her hands tear my shirt in a half, like she was a tiger, determined to get her prey. Her lips get back to mine, biting it when I reach for her ass and press myself closer to her, my erection pointed to her thigh.
She whispers my name, her nails digging deep into my skin, giving me both pain and pleasure; I know there’s nothing stopping me from taking this woman. A woman that I craved for since the day I saw her. Every time she frowned at me, every time she called me an asshole. I just loved that hate, that teasing, waiting for the day I kiss her to come.
I start kissing down her chest, my lips everywhere I want them to be as her nails dig even deeper and she lets out a quiet moan; a moan that turns me on even more, so feminine yet so hungry. Within seconds I get rid of her ocean blue shirt, enjoying the view of her perfect breasts in a tight lacy bra. Her chest is rising and falling rapidly; like her heart was threatening to get out of her body.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, Red.”
Lexi pushes me on the bed, with all of her strength and passion, burning in her hazel eyes. She jumps on me, letting her inner animal, her inner tiger out, letting it tear my body, kiss me with all of her lust. With every movement she surprises me even more; turns me on even more. My hand glides through her hair, as I look at her in a way I have never looked at a girl before. Not because she’s all mine, just for tonight.
But because I never thought I could adore someone that much.
I feel her hands unclipping my belt; actually, almost ripping it off my jeans. Lexi holds her gaze with mine, there’s is no smile on her lips, only the hot intensity of her gaze that we both know is the start of the fire of pleasure to come. I like women in control; but not with Lexi. I want her all for myself, for her to feel my every kiss, my every touch, my every inch. I want her to beg for more, to scream my name until she loses her voice and all the hate she was holding inside her.
I throw her on her back, lifting her legs up to rest on mine. She fights me; even in the moment of pleasure, even in the moment we both wanted to come she keeps fighting, wanting to have control.
Probably, being afraid.
“Relax, Red, baby...”
I look her in the eyes, finally, for the first time they’re not narrowed and angry. They’re passionate, but at the same time they’re afraid. She’s all afraid that I’ll use her. I’ve heard others talking about her past; what she had been through and how cruel life was to her. If she was someone else I would probably have her for only one time, only one night; but fu ck, that’s Lexi. The most alluring and intriguing woman I ever saw. I couldn’t get my eyes off her when I first saw her and I know that after tonight, nothing will be the same. I will have to admit what I actually feel for her.
“Let me take care of you.”
I reach for the top of her jeans, slowly unbuttoning it, letting it slide down her perfect thighs, down on the ground. Enjoying every inch of her trained, yet feminine body. Sending kisses up her inner thighs, her flat stomach, her big breasts, biting her neck and then finally, reaching her lips. Savoring every flavor of her mouth, of her skin that has a scent of flowers, but also spicy like a cinnamon.
I feel her body relax while I kiss her, because I guess kissing is the most important part. It means that I’m not here only for her body. I didn’t care even if she pushed me away right now; all I want is Lexi to trust me.
My hand slowly slides down between her thighs until I feel the moisture of her, the wetness I made with my touching and kissing. I smile on her lips, feeling how she takes a deep breath and never exhales.
“You’re so wet for me, Red?”
“You’re so hard for me, Aaron?”
I let myself rub between her legs, feeling her wet, soft skin that makes me crave for her even more. Lexi gasps when I insert two of my fingers inside of her, her back arches as soon as I start moving it. Getting deeper and faster, hearing her moans getting louder. Making her breath stop, her arms holding tight onto the sheets. Kissing her neck, her breasts, enjoying every moment I get to spend with her.
I quickly remove her panties, her tight bra, enjoying the full view of her naked, horny body; goosebumps all over her flesh and her hardened nipples. I can’t resist the urge to suck on them, while my hand works its way to my pocket, pulling the condom out. Lexi grabs on my hair and pulls me back to her lips, giving me the most passionate kiss I’ve ever had.
I get on my knees, getting my jeans down; watching her as she watches me, my dick getting out of my pants, pointed at her. She bites her lip and rests on her elbows, smiling devilishly at me.
“What?” I chuckle, rolling the condom on my hardness.
“I haven’t thought it’s... that big.”
“Scared of it, Red?”
“Just shut up and fuck me.”
We both giggle as she grabs my neck and pulls me back to her lips, wrapping her legs around me and letting me get inside her. But that’s not how I like to play.
I tease her, brushing my díck against her clit, all of her pùssy, enjoying the sound of her little moans on my lips. Touching her silk soft skin. Letting my fingers in her thick red hair. Enjoying the taste of her lips.
And then I push myself inside her. Fast. All of it.
I feel her back arching with the loudest moan, pleasure of being inside her sends a hot wave down my body. My hips flex and I start to move, deeper and harder inside of her, not even hearing how I’m moaning myself. Savoring the feeling of her, being all mine. Just mine.
“Oh fuck, Aaron!”
I feel her nails dig deep into my skin, leaving bleeding bruises all over my back. Hearing her scream my name. Fucking her with everything I have, deeper and harder with every movement, holding her tight against myself, but still kissing her. Not because she needs it; because I want to. Because I’ve never felt this way with a woman before.
I’ve never felt that it’s not just sex for me, only this time, the very first time. I know I want her, tonight; and every other night. I don’t want to only have sex with her. I want her to fall asleep in my arms. I want her not to be afraid anymore. I want to show her that I care for her, not for her body.
I want her to show the good side of life that she never saw.
The egg yolk sun pours through the cracks in the blind and awaits entrance into my eyes. Before waking up, I burrow myself into the warm, soft sheets, growling and yawning. Though the sheets are hard like a stone.
These are not my sheets.
My eyes open as wide as they can, seeing a six-pack in front of me. I feel an arm wrapping tightly around me; just the moment I realize I’m completely naked.
And then I remember last night.
I quickly jump on my feet, covering my private parts with a blanket. Watching Aaron, slowly opening his swollen eyes; but looking extremely gorgeous in the morning. As soon as he sees me, trying to gather my clothes, a wide smile appears on his face.
“What’s the rush, Red?”
“What am I doing in here!?”
“Let me think...” He taps his chin with a finger, pretending that he’s trying to remember. “We had amazing sex and then-”
“I know we had sex! But I wasn’t supposed to stay the night!”
“Because... it’s not okay!”
I quickly put my panties on and the blanket falls down; giving Aaron a full view of my hardened nipples. I see him biting his lip as his eyes lock on them, reminding me how much he played with them last night.
“Hey! My eyes are up here.”
“Come back to bed.”
He offers me a hand, looking at me with his puppy eyes. I hesitate if I should actually leave. One part of me wants to stay in his bed forever, let him kiss me, let him touch me; just because of him, I had the most amazing time. I could let myself not to think about the brothel; what I usually do before I fall asleep. All my thoughts were spinning only around Aaron.
But the other part of me can’t trust him. He’s a man; and men are heartless, selfish creatures that can’t be trusted. I’ve let myself forget this for only one night; to enjoy everything that Aaron could give to me. But I can’t let myself get hurt. Not again.
“I’m going back to my room.”
“Will you come back tonight?”
I quickly dress up, not caring how I look, just wanting to get out of here before I could change my mind. Deep inside my heart I know it’s not a wish to leave; it’s fear, pushing me away from Aaron, not letting him in. And I surely know that I want to come back again. But what if I’ll get burnt? What if he’ll use me?
What if he’ll hurt me?
“Don’t be so stubborn, Red.”
I take quick steps to the door, trying as much as I can not to turn around, not to look at him, not to get back to him. Because the desire to kiss him one last time is eating my guts, burning my brain and every possible way that I could get back to hating him again.
I stop just as my fingers reach the cold metal doorknob. I sigh; the desire to turn back is too strong. I want to look at him; I never noticed how actually handsome he is. I just realized I could stare at that face forever and never get bored of those perfect face features.
“Did you at least... liked it?”
As I turn back to him, I notice that wide smile has disappeared from his face and he sat straight on the bed, looking me in the eyes. Hurt flashes in them and for a moment, I start to regret for leaving like this. Especially when I don’t want to leave.
“Yes. I liked it.”
And with my last word that smile is back on his face, even wider and cockier. He leans back on the bed, looking at me, chuckling, being proud of himself. Getting me irritated again; just this time, it makes me smile.
“That’s what I thought.”
“You’re a fucking moron, you know that?”
He shrugs and winks at me, and without anymore hesitations I storm out of his room. Remembering every moment of last night. Repeating it in my head. How he touched me. How he kissed me. How he fucked me. That was not the kind of sex that I was used to... it had feelings. Passion. Lust. He never pushed me to do that; it was me who wanted this.
We had sex because I wanted to.
And I know we will never get back to the hate and annoying each other like we did before. Because slowly, I know I’m letting him in. And deep inside my heart I just know...
Aaron drives me crazy.
I watch my every step, not wanting to lift my head up or look at the sides. Look at Kai. That uncomfortable silence is eating me from inside, tearing my guts, but I just don’t know how to start this conversation. I know he’s pissed; as far as I know him, he will be pissed for a really long time. Maybe he won’t forgive me, ever.
But somehow I need to fix this; to fix that I ruined things between me and my best friend.
For a woman.
I never thought I could leave my friend for a woman. Choose a woman over Kai; who was with me all of my life, supported me, was that kind of friend that others never have ability to know. He was, and he’ll always be there for me, to lift me up when I fall. No matter how far across the continent he would be, a part of his soul will always be etched in me, he will always be my friend; my soul brother.
And I failed him. And Kai never forgives those who fail him.
“Could I at least tell you something?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Will you keep secrets from me again?” He finally turns to me, regret flashes in those cold eyes; somehow he realized that this time he crossed the line. “I’m sorry. Sure.”
“Of course, it’s unforgivable that I left you... but you should know that I was always helping you, even if I wasn’t there.”
“Okay. How come?”
We finally reach the house and I pull the rotten wooden door open, letting Kai to enter the house first. He looks around; first he glances at me, like he wasn’t trusting me completely, and then he turns the flashlight on, taking a step inside.
“I was searching for Avery, but I ended up finding Leonardo instead... I was the one behind it, giving you directions to find him.”
“If you actually knew where he is. Why you haven’t killed him?”
I take a step forward to surpass Kai, to lead him to the room we need to reach. Hearing water dripping from the pipes, feeling garbage under my feet and my stomach, rumbling from the pungent smell of this house.
“Because I know Beverly wants to do it.”
Finally, we reach the door and with no hesitation, I open it. Kai is standing right next to me, taking a good look at Carlos Pereira, who’s looking more like a corpse than a human. I needed him to see this; not because he wanted to. But he needs a living proof that I never left his side, never betrayed him. I was always there, keeping my distance, but at the same time, helping him.
“Well, well. Just look at that.”
A smile appears on his face; the one he puts on when his inner devil starts to get out from his body, changing him into a cruel, heartless monster. There’s a reason why he’s called Diabolus, and as soon as his enemies sees his face turning like that - there’s no way they could escape alive.
“Carlos! My friend!”
He shouts, making Carlos gasp and open his eyes widely; Kai spreads his arms to the sides, walking straight to Carlos like he was his old friend. But it’s just the way Kai likes to play. Tease his victims. Give them hope and then take it away. Torture them. Because killing them is his least favorite part.
“Wow. You look like a total shit.”
Kai keeps patting Carlos’s gray cheek, all bruised and bony; only skin is covering his skeleton. He can’t even make himself frown, he used all of his energy opening his eyes. I made him feel even worse than I thought; even surprising a monster like Kai.
“What are you giving him, Brent?”
“Cheapest drugs. Chemicals. Everything that makes him rot on the inside.”
“Awww. I wish that Camille could see this.”
Kai straightens himself, crossing his arms by his chest. That evil smile doesn’t leave his face, seeing his enemy getting the destiny that he deserves. Kai never let anyone escape. He has no mercy, no heart when it comes to people who hurt him or people that he loves. His monster rises from the deepth of the darkness, muttering unheard words. Covered in scars from the past, carrying the scythe. It’s the darkest side of him, and to make him angry means to die in the most painful way.
“Oh wait... She’s dead. I chopped her head off, remember?”
“You want me to end him?”
“No. Grim reaper is already on its way to take him.”
Without turning back, Kai starts to walk back to leave the room. To leave Carlos, to let him die alone in pain. To let him go insane from the only sound he can hear - dripping water. Leaving him with only one, last memory... how he brutally killed his daughter.
“We’re leaving and this piece of shit will die himself in a few days.”
Our next stop is Jacksonville, Florida. That’s the last place where my spies saw Leonardo; and hopefully, Avery. Ever since I started looking for her again I ended up finding him; and I know, I just know they’re together. Somehow she’s with him, I just haven’t figured out how they’re connected.
It can’t be that he has captured her; the man can’t do shit. Deep inside my guts I know there’s something more, something I don’t know, something that happened behind my back.
But I still have hope. Even after thirteen years.
“Everyone has their shit packed?”
All the room is full of bags, but everyone keeps silent. Probably they’re feeling uncomfortable with me here; since no one but Beverly and Kai knows why I haven’t showed up for a year. It’s not only guilt that’s eating my brains; it’s tiredness. I’m tired of keeping secrets. We’re a fucking family; and you can’t keep secrets from family.
I sit down on the chair, taking a deep breath. I need to talk about this. About her. How beautiful she was, how much I’ve missed her. How much I loved her.
Probably I still do, even after a decade.
“You okay, Brent?”
After Aaron’s words everyone turns to me. Looking at me with those anxious, curious eyes. I don’t want to keep anymore secrets; I’ve done enough to hurt people that I love. They cried for me, they felt grief for me; and there was no point for them to feel all that pain.
And the least thing I can do is to be honest with my family.
“I want to tell you why I haven’t came back for a whole year.”
“Brent, you know you don’t have to do this.”
I smile at Beverly, who’s lips arch down in a worried face expression. Beverly... always so caring and devoted to everyone. She cares more about people around her than herself. I can’t explain how happy I am that Kai has her, that she changed him, giving him another reason to be happy.
Just like I was with Avery.
“You all might want to sit down. This is going to be a long story.”
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
Everyone listens to me and, not saying another word, takes their seats. A lot of curious eyes are watching my every move, my every word as I start to share my past with them. Feeling that tickling in my stomach; after all those years talking about Avery again.
The love of my life.
"All of you know what it’s like to lose someone, and so do I. But for you to understand, I have to start from the beginning. And it began on one hot summer day thirteen years ago, back in Miami where Kai and I grew up..."