“Sam, I think we need a girls chat” Savannah said as Elise nodded and they both took my hands and led me to the spare room upstairs.
“I can’t be in here, he died in here” I stopped at the door in a panic.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry” Savannah cried out as we changed rooms.
“Brian’s room…Real cleaver Savannah” Elise smirked.
“Oh for god sake!” She put her head in her hands.
“It’s ok” I said as she raised her head.
“So, what the hell is going on? You and Jayden? You and Brian?” Savannah asked.
“It’s…Difficult. I’ve not long-lost Tom and yet I know we were on the rocks before and everything was going downhill. My emotions are all over the place since having Cody. I felt a spark between me and Jayden, he promised to wait for me today when we went out and we kissed, and it was amazing. Then Brian comes out to soothe me after I was thinking about everyone we lost and then said he loved me, always had and kissed me. I have no idea what I’m doing girls, I love them both…But Brian…I think it’s as a brother” I said.
“You think?” Elise said.
“I…I can’t say it wasn’t nice when I came in here and slept next to him, but I’ve always done that, I hate being on my own, I don’t know if it was loneliness or something else. But I’ve always thought of him like a best friend or a brother, nothing else”
“Could there be something in you that likes him?” Savannah asks.
“I…I don’t know. What I do know is I feel more for Jayden, I love him I do, but I have love for Brian at another level. I’m so confused” I sit and hold my head in my hands.
“Sound like we have a little love triangle. You’ve known Brian so long you are used to him; Jayden is like a new and shiny toy. Only time will tell how you feel Sam, but you have to be honest with both of them. If you feel you like them both, then be honest. That’s all you can do and figure out what you truly want” Elise said.
Suddenly the door opened, and Brian came into the room as he stood in shock having not realised we were in here.
“Oh, I didn’t know you were here, I…I just need to change my shirt…” He muttered.
“I’m sorry Brian, I’m sorry I punched you…And pulled a gun on you…” I sighed.
“It’s ok, I deserved it…” He sighed back as Savannah and Elise stood, mouthing for us to talk it out before shutting the door on us.
“I don’t know what I feel Brian… I’m emotional and confused…” I said as he took a seat next to me.
“You don’t have to explain that to me Sammy. I get it, you love me like a brother” He sighed looking away.
“I feel…for both of you…I don’t know what or how, but I love you both…But I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. Every guy I’ve fallen for has died. I’m scared to love and so I put most people in the same position, I love them like a brother or best friend. I’m scared to love I don’t know how I feel” I said as he looked at me with hope in his eyes.
“Sammy, I know how much you’ve gone through and we’ve been friends for a very long time, and I don’t want to ruin everything we had. But I can’t deny having you next to me is the most amazing feeling. I shouldn’t have kissed you tonight, not with everything going on, but seeing you with him, it made me jealous. I dealt with this completely wrong and I’m sorry. If you want to just be friends, I understand, but don’t shut me out” He said.
How did I feel? I had no idea my head was a swirl of emotion. I love them both and I hated seeing anyone hurt. Was I actually in love with either of them, I didn’t know, I knew I loved them both but loving someone and being in love with someone was two completely different things.
Nothing was normal around here, I hadn’t been on dates, I hadn’t got to know them in the normal ways a normal girl would.
“I can’t tell you how I feel, I don’t know myself. I love you both, but honestly, I don’t know if I’m IN love with either of you…Things are so crazy, and we don’t have a normal life where it’s easy to figure things out and go on dates. I just… I don’t know what I’m doing anymore” I said honestly.
“Then, let’s make a deal, you go on dates, whether it be with me, Jayden or even some new guy away from us lot, see how you feel. We said we wanted a bit of normality, so take it. We’ll wait…I’m sure Jayden would agree” Brian said as I looked at him.
“Thank you” I rested my head on his shoulder.
“Anything for you” He kissed my head.
“This is so fucked up” I said as he laughed.
“You broke my nose Sammy, why do you always have to break a nose?” He laughed and it set me off.
“I’m sorry, let me clean it up for you” I said, before leading him carefully to the bathroom and got out the first aid kit.
“I can do this myself when I’ve brought Jayden back” He moved my hand away, but I slapped his hand off mine as he pouted at me.
“Shut up, let me sort this and then you can go. He’s a big boy, if he wants to ride off with a pout, I can’t keep chasing everyone” I said as I cleaned up his face.
“He’ll be back” Brian said as I finished up.
I looked at him, I couldn’t help but feel the love I had for him, but I still didn’t know how I loved him.
“Can we try something?” I said quietly.
“Try what?” He asked looking into my eyes.
“Kiss me…” I said as he looked at me wide-eyed.
“Promise you won’t punch me again” He said with a smile.
“Promise” I said as his hand grazed my face and slowly pulled me down to him as our lips met.
The kiss was soft and gentle as his hands caressed my face.
“It should have been like that earlier” He mumbled as we came out from the kiss.
“I’m sorry…I don’t know what I’m doing Brian…Give me time” I said as he nodded.
“You have all the time in the world, don’t rush it. I’ll be here” He said as he stood and hugged me to him.
“Thank you” I said as we separated and began walking back downstairs.
“I’m going to go and find your other boy and have a little chat with him. Go be with the others, get some sleep” He kissed my head and walked off.
“Hey! Brian!” I called out before he left the house.
“Yeah?” He smiled looking back.
“Be careful” I said as he smiled.
“I will. See you later” He winked and left.
I walked into the lounge where everyone looked at me like I was going to break as I flopped onto the sofa between Taylor and Damien and laid across their laps.
“Did you guys talk it out?” Savannah asked.
“Yep” I answered.
“AND?!!” She urged.
“I told him the truth. I don’t know how I feel. He basically said to take my time, go on dates, and see how I feel.” I said back.
“You kissed him didn’t you” Elise smirked at me.
“Samantha…Please tell me you didn’t…” Shaun said.
“We kissed, a little. I’m confused Shaun, I don’t know how I feel. If I don’t try something, how can I ever know?”
“God damn it Samantha! Do you have to kiss every guy in this fucking group?!” He growled.
“She hasn’t kissed me” Wayne and Rob said at the same time as I laughed.
“Me neither” Damien said as he looked up at Taylor expectantly and I blushed.
“I did, sorry babe, we had an experiment once…Hated it…” Taylor mumbled as I laughed.
“See! You even kissed the gay guy!” Shaun exclaimed, but this just set everyone off laughing.
“Fine, want me to find a guy away from here? Someone none of us knows…Would you feel better? Or would you still be watching their every move and tracking down their background?” I asked.
“That’s not the point…” He grumbled.
“Baby, she’s working things out, just like we all have to sometimes. Just be there for her” Elise took his hand a gave me a reassuring smile.
“You could always have a threesome” James said cheekily before a barrage of pillows were sent flying his way.
“Wouldn’t be the first one…” Taylor mumbled as I smacked him.
“Trade secrets!” I said as he laughed.
“I do not want to know the escapades of my granddaughter thank you Taylor” Grandpa said but smirked and shook his head.
“Who with and when?” Damien asked.
“NO! We aren’t going there!” I said.
“Oh come on! You know you like it girl” Taylor said playfully.
“I think I need a drink” Grandpa said as we laughed at him as he went to go grab an alcoholic drink.
“I haven’t even heard this story, do tell Taylor” Savannah piped up.
“No I’m joining Grandpa” Luka said as he got up quickly.
“She had a threesome with another girl and a guy, our girls done her fair share of experiments” Taylor smirked as I whacked him with a cushion.
“Brian and Jayden would die if they knew they were missing out on this piece of information” Elise chuckled.
“Soooo, did you like it?” Savannah asked.
“Yes, I liked it, having a girl and guy, it was intense. I will swing whatever way” I said as she smirked.
“So get a girlfriend and leave the boys alone” Shaun groaned.
“Shaun, play nice” Elise said smacking his arm.
“I’ve never met a girl that I’ve liked like that, if I did then fine, but I haven’t. I can’t help who I end up liking Shaun” I sighed.
“How about we put on a movie!” Tobias said as I gave him a grateful smile as the talk died down and my Grandpa and Brother came back in to join us.
I stayed laid on Taylor and Damien’s lap as we watched a film as it got darker.
Brian and Jayden still hadn’t returned, and I was worried.
The film finished and people began to go to bed as I was left in the lounge on my own and I began to pace.
“Sammy, you should go to bed” Savannah came back down, watching me from the doorway.
“They haven’t come home” I said pacing.
“I’m sure they are fine” She said.
“What if they aren’t?” I said as I got out my phone and tried ringing them both.
No answer as I threw my phone to the sofa.
“They will be fine, I’m sure they are on their way home right now” She said hugging me.
“I need to go find them” I said as I began to walk off towards the door.
“No, you’re staying here, they will be back. Go to bed Samantha” She said sternly as I stormed into the lounge like an angry teen as I sat on the sofa, biting my nails nervously.
“I’m not going to bed until they are home” I said as she sighed.
“Fine, but you don’t leave this house. Promise me you won’t leave the house if I go to bed?” She asked.
“Promise” I nodded.
“Fine, just please, stop worrying, they’ll be back. Please get some sleep. Cody needs you too. I’ll put him in our room for tonight but please get some rest” She said.
“Thank you” I said as she kissed my cheek goodnight and left me there on the sofa.
I kept wanting to get up and go find them as I kept pacing the room.
I was getting more nervous by the hour.
“God damn it boys, pick up your phones” I said as I rung them again.
A rumble of a bike and the sound of a car engine suddenly caught my attention as I bolted from the sofa and went outside to find Jayden and Brian parking up.
Relief filled my heart as I saw them both, they were alive.
“You two are absolute arseholes!” I shouted as they stopped coming towards me, still in darkness.
“Sorry kitten, we…had a little chat…” Jayden said as he bowed his head and put his hood up.
They tried walking past me while turning their faces away.
“Stop right now! I have been sitting in there alone worrying and waiting for you two to get home and you just walk past me! What are you hiding?” I said.
“We had a little chat, it’s fine Sam” Brian mumbled as I pushed them both into the light and gasped, they were both black and blue with bruises.
“You fought!” I said.
“Don’t worry kitten, everything is fine” Jayden sighed taking my hand.
I looked at them both in disbelief.
“So, what did you two sort out then?” I said.
“That’s between us” Brian said as he began to walk off again.
“You’re not serious…You’re walking away from me right now” I said sadly.
“I told you to go to bed before I left. Go to bed, get some sleep. We’ll talk about it soon” Brian said as he walked off as I looked to Jayden.
“You leaving me too?” I asked as he sighed.
“Go to bed kitten” He said as he walked off and I stood in the dark in shock, what the hell was going on?
Had I now lost both of them?
I went indoors, locked the doors and plonked myself back on the sofa as the tears fell as I fell asleep crying.
What do I do now?