“Nala... Please don’t lie to me.” I say looking at the phone in her slightly shaking hands.
“You know Lorenzo since we’re trying to put our past behind us and all I figured it’s time I tell you why you haven’t met my family.”
Nala keeps her eyes down as she pulls me towards the couch and sits next to me rubbing her belly.
“My father passed away when I was 15, and my mom had a very hard time dealing with it. She used a lot of drugs and other people in my family tried to help her but she ended up pushing them all away from both me and her. She thought she could raise me while still being drugged off anything she could get from her dealer.”
Jesus, I knew whatever she was hiding from me must have been bad but I didn’t expect this.
“My goodness Nala, I’m so sorry.”
She holds my hand as she continues.
“Mom used to be my favorite person ever. The person I could talk to about everything, laugh with, and hang out with. Until the drugs took her away from me. Then I was sent to a foster home where I didn’t get adopted and just ended up staying there until I found a job and a roommate who was old enough to rent an apartment. She is still alive now, but, she won’t tell me where she lives, She doesn’t want me to find her.”
My heart breaks for Nala. I never knew she was dealing with this, and it hurts me. I pull her into my arms silently, knowing no words I say will change that terrible past.
“Thanks for listening. I’ve only ever told that to Wanda, and now you.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I was afraid you would see that I grew up with a bad mother and that I would be a bad mother as well.”
“What? Are you serious Nala? I could never think that of you. But I’m curious what this has to do with the message you just received.”
“It’s my mother. Pinky was my nickname growing up, only she rarely ever said it in a loving way. It was always, ‘Pinky clean the house, Pinky get your ass down here, pinky. Hide the drugs!’ I hate it because when dad was alive, she would say that name so lovingly.”
“Shit, that rough... Are you going to message her back?”
She gives me a deadpan look and stands up from the couch.
“I would rather shit ghost pepper hot sauce out of my asshole.”
I bite back the laugh because it wouldn’t be appropriate and I sigh instead.
“Lorenzo...” She says with her arms folded across her chest.
“I respect your decision.”
She looks at me like I’ve caught her off guard and lets her hands fall to her side.
“You mean, you’re not going to give me some speech about making amends or something?”
I shake my head and pull her back towards me.
“Some pasts aren’t worth reliving. I don’t know what it’s like to grow up with a mother like that, but I can only imagine the pain you went through.”
She lets out a relieved breath.
“Thanks for understanding. I’m just going to delete the number.”
She says as her finger hovers over the delete button but she hesitates.
“You don’t have to delete it Nala, just don’t feel pressured into opening the doors to that past again.”
She hugs me tightly and I rub soothing circles on her back.
The next day Lorenzo and I drive to the doctor’s office to check up on how the baby is doing. He or she has been kicking a lot lately and making me so excited. I’m now six months pregnant and I admit I look at my belly for hours in total awe. Having something growing inside of me is incredible.
Get your head out of the gutter. That’s not what I meant... However, that’s pretty great too, and I’ve been having so much sex since I’ve been pregnant and frisky that I’m not sure how kitty handles it. Ah... The beauty of a human body.
“Hum?” I ask Lorenzo who watches me amused.
“You look like you were having a pretty daydream. over there.” He says as we wait for the doctor to come into the exam room.
“Oh yeah, I definitely was.”
“You’re not going to tell what it was about?”
“I was thinking about our baby.”
“That’s all?” He asks with a smirk. How the fuck does he know? is my face that readable?
“Well, I was also thinking about sex.”
He laughs deeply.
“You’re always thinking about sex Nala.”
“Well can you blame me? Have you seen yourself? I have the sexiest husband any woman would ever ask for. Apart from that... you’re... you’re just so amazing.”
He smiles warmly, but I wasn’t done talking.
“You know, apart from your rancid farts, cockyness, and the way your hair curls to one side, and refuses to curl towards the other side without it turning into a mess.”
He laughs before turning an imaginary jack in the box, which is his hand, and flicking me off.
“When, where, and how hard?” I ask him and holds in his laughter as the doctor walks in, with wide eyes. Shit.
“If you two are having a personal sexual conversation, I can pretend I’m busy as most doctors do and come back again in another ten minutes.” He says with a chuckle.
“Oh no, doc. It would take us a lot longer than ten minutes anyways.” I joke, while not really joking and the doctor laughs and blushes.
“Ignore her doc, she’s just as wild as they come.”
I flick him off this time and he chuckles with a wink.
“Alrighty then let’s get check this baby out.”
After the checkup, the doctor told me everything was going great, and to keep up with my low sugar diet. I fought the urge of asking him what the sex of the baby is, as I do in every appointment. Lorenzo looks at me and my belly with loving eyes that makes my heart soar.