(6) ...Cow titties
2 days later:
“So you saw me at my most embarrassing so it’s only fair that you tell me what you’re most embarrassing moment is,” I say sit in front of his desk and lean forward.
“I would tell you but...”
“Then you would have to kill me? I doubt you would survive without me.” I say as I play with his kinetic balls, watching the metal balls bump each other.
“Stop touching my balls.” He says and I can hear the humor in his voice.
“I’ll stop touching your balls, once you tell me what your most embarrassing moment is.”
“Fine! It was my senior year of high school, and I was living in Texas at the time. I and a group of my friends snuck into a farm at night and they dared me to um... suck milk out of a cow’s titty.”
I brake out into hysterical laughter and hold my tummy.
“And how did that work out for you, boss?”
He glares at me but I can see a hint of a smile on his lips.
“It was fucking terrible, as soon as I tasted it I vomited, and on top of that the cow started to get agitated.”
I bite back another laugh.
“I guess not everybody is impressed by your titty sucking skills.” I roast him and he smirks at me.
“Careful Nala, I might think that you are curious about my titty sucking skills.”
“Oh please, I can suck my own titties, I don’t need a man,” I say as I stand up and his eyes are glued to my chest, his mouth hanging open.
“You can really do that?” He asks impressed, and I simply salute him.
I sit in my office and start reading a bunch of requests for proposals and submitting my vetted version to them.
“Charlie?!” I yell for my assistant who is most likely flirting with the new intern guy. He comes into my office and sets a coffee on my table without me needing to ask for it.
“Thank you, Charlie, but I was going to ask you to print out the pdf I’m about to send to your computer. At least 20 copies.”
“Oh, and here’s ten bucks, buy yourself a decent sandwich for lunch,” I tell him and he smiles.
“You’re a saint Nala.” He skips away happily.
I know the interns here don’t get paid that much, so I pay for their lunches. Poor kids going thought all that stress for little pay. I shake my head, trying not to let it bother me, but it does.
I stare into space for a while before suddenly standing up and march into Lorenzo’s office. I didn’t realize he’s in a meeting with Billy Graham, one of our most loyal clients, and a guy who is very easy on the eyes.
I compose myself as I walk in and greet Billy with a handshake.
“Mr. Graham, it’s nice seeing you again,” I say and he smiles at me warmly before placing a kiss on the back of my hand.
“Nala, please, call me Billy, we’ve been in business a long time.” He says kindly and I blush a little.
Lorenzo clears his throat.
“Nala. What can I help you with?” Lorenzo asks and I can hear the annoyance. I shoot him a glare and he squints his eyes at me.
“Don’t worry about it boss, it can wait till after you are finished with this meeting.”
“Oh I was just leaving Nala, and might I say you look as beautiful as ever,” Billy says sweetly and I hear a faint groan from Lorenzo.
“Why thank you, Billy, you clean up nice as always.” He shrugs smiling.
“Well, I will see you two soon. Bye now.”
“Bye.” Lorenzo and I both say at the same time as he walks out. I turn towards Lorenzo and my smile drops.
“What did I do this time Nala?”
I sit in front of him and bite a piece of his banana muffin out of frustration, and he looks at it horrified.
“Wha... That was mine! I’ve been thinking of that banana muffin all day!”
Gosh, how can he be so sexy and so cute at the same time? Focus Nala. Poker face.
“I should have said this a long time ago, so I’m saying it now.”
“Okay out with it Nala, I don’t have all day.”
“You should be paying these poor interns more than 9 dollars an hour, do you realize how expensive it is to live in New York City?”
He looks away and seems to be having a conversation in his head.
“Okay.” He responds, and I have to make sure I’m hearing him right.
“Yes, okay, I will give them a 5 dollar raise.” He says and I look at him with my jaw dropped.
He leans forward and closes my jaw.
“There is a fly around here, and I wouldn’t want you to swallow it.” He says joking, which I doubt because we were on the 34th floor just one floor under his penthouse, and I know if I were a fly I wouldn’t even bother.
“Wow. Thanks for listening to me, boss. I’m sure they would really appreciate the raise.”
“Yeah well. You are a good person Nala. I find myself wanting to say yes to you from time to time, but don’t get used to it.”
Why... why is my heart swelling right now? Why am I looking deeply into his eyes in awe?
I snap out of it.
“Well thank you, Lorenzo. I guess I’ll leave you alone now.”
As I’m walking towards the door he calls me.
“It turns out my sister is getting married in two weeks, and I need a date for this wedding. Could you Maby find me a good one by then?”
A good one? I nod feeling unrightfully disappointed. I’m not sure if I was disappointed because it seemed he wasn’t taking this seriously anymore, or if perhaps he is.
“I will do my best boss.”
At home, I ditch the dating website and start finding marriage quality women the hard but best way. I call Billy Graham a prepare myself for an awkward conversation.
Nala: (“Billy, hello.“)
Billy: (“Nala my dear, what can I help you with?“)
Gosh, he’s so sweet.
Nala: (“Well, this might come out a bit awkward, but Lorenzo’s sister is having a wedding in two weeks, and he tells me he has no one to take, and well I know you have a large family, so I was wondering if any of your siblings, or friends might be interested in attending this wedding with Lorenzo?“)
What a mouth full.
Billy: (“Are you kidding? All 5 of my sisters adore Lorenzo, and have always wanted to meet him.“)
All of his sisters are drop-dead gorgeous and are all in their mid-20s.
Nala: (“That’s great, but all I need is one. Could you maybe mention this to them and call me back with an answer?“)
Billy: (“Anything for you Nala, I’ll give you answer soon.“)
Nala:(“Thanks so much billy. I hope this isn’t too weird.“)
Coming from the queen of weird.
Billy: (“It’s totally fine, take care Nala.“)
Nala: (“You too, bye.“)
Again... Now we wait.