Monster In My Heart [BL]

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Summary

Zayev May grew up in a loving home but that loving home was home to the one he loved most and he knew that he could never be with that one but one-day things went out of his control and one thing lead to another making him instantly regret his decisions to the point of him being scared out of his witts. Afraid of the consequences of his actions he shuts everyone out only to be surprised by that someone. ~ Sequel to Out of the Closet Cover art by: the_nerd.artist

Genre:
Romance / Drama
Author:
Vanessa Nicole
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
30
Rating:
5.0 2 reviews
Age Rating:
18+

My Mistake

I feel a thump on my shoulders but don’t move. I’m too fucking tired and it’s so late, how late? I don’t want to know. I ignore it but my chest hurts after being hit and a strained whisper enters my ears, “Z - Zai?” my brother’s voice calls to me.

I frown and slowly open my eyes. I see that my bedside lamp is on and Dre’s standing over me. “What? Did something happen?” I ask him and hear him sniffle.

“Z-Zai, I’m d-dying,” he says and the life of me gets drained as I quickly sit up and pull him into my arms. How the fuck can he say something like this.

He starts whimpering in my arms so I coo him, “Dre tell me what’s wrong.” I demand and feel him trembling in my arms.

He lifts his head and looks up at me. I see that his eyes are swollen so he must have been crying for a very long time before he came to wake me. Why didn’t he go to our parents?

“Dre speak to me,” I urge and he buries his head in the crook of my shoulder.

He looks up at me then removes the pillow between us that I didn’t know was there. My eyes land on his wood and I hold my breath.

My eyes trail up his trembling body and I see him staring at his hard-on. His hands fist the pillow as he hides it again and looks at me with watery eyes, “I – I w – was s – sleeping and woke up because I felt uncomfortable and I found me like this. It d – doesn’t w – want t – to go d – down, Z – Zai I’m scared,” he says and he hides his face in the crook of my neck while crying his heart out.

My eyes search my room and they land on the door that’s closed. I look back down at Dre and cup his face. Forcing him to look at me, I rub the tears away from his eyes and he opens them. My hand trails down his cheek and I rub my thumb over his bottom lip.

Pulling back, he quickly jumps up and runs away back to his room slamming my door behind him. I sigh and look at my dick that’s screaming for attention.

I hear a knock on my door and frown, “Come in,” I say and my father sticks his head through the door.

“Is everything okay Zai? Why did you slam the door shut?” he asks and I tilt my head, “When did I slam it?” I ask and he grumbles.

Dre has the same coloured eyes as our father and I’ve always loved that while I have my mama’s hazel eyes.

My father closes the door behind him and I get up and head to the bathroom to shower. Locking the door behind me I run a warm shower and get in.

Fuck! I curse as I soon reach my climax and my orgasm shoots through the shower hitting the glass. Heaving as I try adjusting to my slight dizziness and my mind shoots back to Dre. Frowning I look down at my dick and its hard again.

I go back and forth with my dick about three more times before my body cools down and I get to leave and head to my bedroom. I flop down on the bed and grab my phone. Checking the time it’s almost morning, no wonder my father was up, he probably left for work.

I get dressed and leave my room. Heading to Dre’s room, I knock first then enter. I can see him shaking on the bed so I walk up to him and sit down on the floor. After a moment of silence, I say in a whisper, “Don’t be scared Jeandre, you know I’d never do anything to hurt you right?”

He doesn’t answer me so I get up on the bed and hold him to myself. We lay there until my alarm rings. I pull the covers down that were over his head and see that he is sound asleep. I kiss his lips then get up and head down to the kitchen.

Walking into the kitchen and kiss my mamma on the cheek and sit down between my twin brother and sister Ilya and Ethan who are a year old and we watch our mamma as he makes pancakes for breakfast.

“Child why are you up so early?” he asks as he takes a sip from his coffee.

I yawn and look at nothing and say, “Jeandre woke me up a few hours ago.”

“What for?” He asks making me sigh. He raises a brow at me and I sigh again, “He woke up with morning wood and thought he was dying.”

His eyes widen and I can see his questioning gaze. He has a constipated look on his face since he knows that I have a thing for my brother.

To be honest with you, I’ve always had a thing for him. Mamma said that I’ve been like this since I was five, since the day he came into our lives. Ever since I can remember I’ve loved him and I still do.

I went crying to them when I had my first wet dream about him and they looked at me speechlessly. I could tell that they were angry but they didn’t say anything. You see, Jeandre and I may be brothers but we aren’t blood brothers.

My biological parents, my mamma Reign and my mother Cindy had me when my mamma was only seventeen and still in high school and I was kept a secret from my grandparents because my mamma was only seventeen whereas my mother was in her early twenties but Theo, my father has raised me as his own and Jeandre is his biological son and the twins are his biological children from surrogates.

He never told me not to love his son but to be careful about it and my mamma said the same. They told that I should protect him and be a good brother and that’s what I’ve been doing all this time and I have been. Even my sexual desires have been kept in a loop so that I wouldn’t be impulsive around him.

My mamma clears his throat gaining my attention and I just realise that I have tears on my cheeks. I sniff and quickly wipe them then look at him. He walks over to me and kneels before me.

“Baby? What happened?” he asks confused and slightly worried as he grabs my face and wipes my falling tears away.

I shake my head and say, “I helped him.”

He nods his head and asks, “Is that all?”

Shaking my head I answer, “I kissed him.”

He raises a brow and was about to say something when Jeandre walked in with pink cheeks and a yawn. He instantly freezes when our eyes meet and his eyes widened then made to leave the kitchen.

“Where do you think you’re going, young man?” Mamma asks in his manly voice making both Jeandre and I physically wince.

He turns back to look at mamma then lowers his head.

“Come, sit, breakfast is almost ready,” he says and goes back to the kitchen.

Dre doesn’t look at me the entire time before breakfast and not even a few minutes in, I feel myself tearing up again and lose my appetite.

My father walks in and I get up, I’m not in the mood to be here at the moment so I just go to my room. He says something behind me but I don’t stay to listen and just head to my room locking it behind me.

Mamma soon comes knocking and tries to open but I just ignore him. Sliding down the door I place my head in my palms and cry into my hands. I never meant for this to happen and it did.

What am I going to do if he hates me and wants nothing to do with me?

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