Chapter 1 - Nightmares & Knick-knacks
“Hold on!” My mom screamed, “Don’t let go! Please God, don’t take them from me.”
I could hear my mother’s cries above the others wailing in torment. I couldn’t see her till she wiped the blood from my face. I gasped at the horror before me. This nightmare had been all too real.
No one should have to go through life reliving such a fate. Cold, wet, shaking in so much fear your teeth feel like they may crack and fall out. An unknown monster howling, screaming, and clawing at your skin ready to take your breath and those you hold most dear. The weight of the clouds about to burst and drown you in fear and loss. This was the nightmare that I relived almost every night and the only thing keeping me sane is hanging on to a dear human until the nightmare passes.
My mother would stroke my back telling me pretty things till the fear subsided.
“The rain can’t hurt you my pretty flower. It falls from the sky to kiss your cheeks and help you grow. The sun waits for his chance to do the same.”
She would lean over and cup my face, placing soft kisses over every inch.
Losing your father is a very difficult thing for a small child. My father saved my life once and my mother saves me every day. Saves me from drowning in my own fear. I may look happy now, so you wouldn’t know how I suffer every night. How my anxiety overwhelms me at times that no pill except love can save me. Things are getting better for us so I am hopeful.
I have a new family. My mom has found love again. She is a lovely person that deserves to be happy and I want to be just like her. As for me, I am delighted with my new father. He is kind and loving with an understanding heart. He can never replace the love I have for my daddy but I am very glad he is in our life. I have a new brother too. He is coming to live with us pretty soon my mom tells me. I can’t wait to see him again. He is staying with his grandma for now but soon we will be living together and going to school together.
My name is Jinny and this is my story. My father paid with his life to save mine.
Today is Sunday and my new brother Yoongi is coming to live with us. He is going to start going to my school tomorrow and I can’t wait to introduce him to my friends. He is very quiet but I think that might be because he doesn’t know me that well. I want him to feel welcome so he will be happy here. Like me, he also lost a parent and that changes a person. I hope we can grow close like real siblings.
“He’s here!” I announced as soon as I saw a car pull up in front of the house. I had been staring out the window waiting for him anxiously.
Yoongi walked up the path to our little house pulling his big suitcase behind him. When I opened the door he flashed me a sweet smile.
“Welcome!” We said to him.
“This is your home now. Why don’t you take a look around while I get dinner ready?” My mom said.
Yoongi nods his head looking a little nervous. I would be too if I was moving in with new people. His cute little eyes scanned the room, but as much as I stared, his gaze would not meet mine. His dad described him as quiet, thoughtful, and easy-going. I would add shy and cute. I can’t wait to get to know him.
“Thank you, I’m happy to be here,” he finally says softly chuckling to himself since my excited mom had already walked away.
My mom turns back and smiles returning to the kitchen with our dad in tow. Yoongi sighs and explains to me why he was glad to leave his grandma’s house.
“Granny is sweet but in her tiny house I seem to always be in the way.”
“I’m sure she would rather be with you than alone,” I said.
“She was used to living alone and though I know she loves me, she wasn’t as fond of my music.” He looks at me earnestly, “It’s the only thing I had. She has no cable or internet!”
“I felt like a bull in a china shop. Surrounded by knick-knacks and stacks of papers that gave an odd smell to the place even when she wasn’t burning some odd incense making my eyes water.”
I covered my mouth to stifle a giggle. I didn’t want him to think I was laughing at his granny. I decided this would be a good time to show him his room and give him a tour of our small but pleasant house. His room has a full bed with a fluffy white comforter, a clean white desk with a lamp and a chair. You could say it was a blank slate for him to add his own personality to it. No knick-knacks or doilies in sight. Thank goodness. I left him alone to put away his things and make himself at home.
“I’ll call you when dinner is ready,” I said before ducking out to my own room.
We sat down as a family to eat. My mom had made a big dinner to welcome him to his new home. At first, he was a little shy but my mom kept offering him more food and he started to relax. I stared at him as he ate. How can he hold so much food? I wondered. When he was finally done eating he helped me clear the table.
“That was so good! My grandma makes soup every day. I haven’t had a big meal in a very long time,” Yoongi explained his big appetite.
I giggled, “She must really love soup.”
I looked at his cute face smiling back at me and I couldn’t help feeling warm inside. I wanted to get to know him and make him feel at home here as soon as possible. I asked my parents if we could go for a walk so I could show him around the neighborhood. Yoongi waddled out the door not too quickly. I’m guessing cause he was so full.
“You need to walk off that dinner,” I said to him as he patted his little tummy.
He nodded in agreement following me outside the front gate. His little eyes took in everything he saw like a tourist on vacation that doesn’t want to forget a single thing about his surroundings. Everything felt fresh and new as I viewed my hometown with new eyes, seeing the charm of the place through his eyes.
We walked around and talked until the sunset, getting to know each other and sharing how happy we feel for our parents. We both wanted them to be happy again and we both wanted to be part of a family. We hadn’t seen each other since our parent’s wedding day, but that day we were a little too shy to talk about our feelings.
After a while, we mostly walked in silence except for a few questions that he had about how far the school was and at what time we had to be there. Still, it wasn’t an awkward silence more like a comfortable one you have with an old friend. As the sun finally set, we headed back to our little house as it was starting to get cold. I felt it was a good start to our new friendship.