Left alone in my thoughts

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I was standing in the doorway watching Finn help Rachel with her writing a new song for Regionals. Sometimes I worry about Finn. I mean how damaged does a guy have to be to be into someone as annoying as Rachel. Still he is a good guy and I do really like him. He’s my first love and first loves are forever. And another thing without him I’m never going to get a crown. I know what you're thinking prom queen? You're smart and super pretty and relatively sane for a girl does being prom queen really matter? Well it does! Prom queen's life on average five years longer than regular people. It's probably because they smile a lot. And smiling has been proven to ward of diseases. But I can't do it without Finn. He’s a shoo in for prom king and after winning the big game he’ll help me land crucial swing votes. Amazingly the only person standing in my way is Rachel and her damn talent. If I’m gunna guarantee that he doesn't stray with her I’m going to have to play it right. They say keep your friends close but your enemies closer. Well Rachel Berry you just got yourself a new best friend.

During glee Rachel suggested we write our own songs for Regionals. And I went along with it because I want to get on her good side. And our own written songs wasn't a bad idea.

So I asked Finn when are relationship was going to go public and he kept putting it off because Rachel. That's so annoying. I gave him an ultimatum. I said if he wanted to date me we would go public after Regional's and of course he said yes. Nobody breaks up with me! Well Sam did but i don't care much about him anymore.

So I tried to help Rachel write her song. She asked me if Finn and I were dating and I said yes. She told me to stop replaying history. That Finn picked her over me. Yeah that's why he came back. She just needs to get it through her head that me and Finn are great we are going to win prom king and queen.

So we won Regional's with our original song, “Loser Like Me.” But at the end of our song Finn hugged Rachel. And her original song was about him. Ugh did she not get the hint. But when that weird old lady said The New Directions won I was so happy! I hugged Mercedes and even Tina. And then I turned around and hugged Puck. I didn't even care who saw because Puck is my best friend.

So we all got back on the bus. We had a five hour drive. We were all really hyped up but that died down after an hour. I had fallen asleep but when I woke up I looked around. Mr. Shu was in the front asleep. Across from him Santana and Sam were sleeping. Behind them was Brittany and artie in the special handicap seating sleeping. In front of me was Mike and Tina sleeping. Across from them was Mercedes who was sleeping. Behind her and also across from me was Rachel sleeping. Next to me was Finn sleeping against the window. I turned around and saw Lauren in the seats behind me stretched out fast asleep. Across from her was Puck. He was looking out of the window. He looked deep in thought. He turned his head and looked at me he seemed surprised but then he motioned that I go sit by him.

I decide why not since everyone else was asleep. I got up and moved quietly back to the seat. When I sat down he whispered,

“Why aren't you sleeping?”

“I don't know I guess I'm not really tired. Why aren't you?”

“I was just thinking of last Regional's.”

“When I went into labor?”

“Yeah.” He looked out the window.

“That was a lot of fun.” I rolled my eyes sarcastically, but he couldn't see me.

“Do you ever miss her?”


“Our baby.”

“I used to miss her everyday but now it's gotten easier, now it's just every other day.”

“Yeah...I miss her everyday.” He looked so sad. Why was he thinking about this? He turned to me and looked me in the eyes and said,

“Do you remember what I said to you that day? In the hospital when we were looking at Beth.”

“Um…” I knew what he was talking about but here wasn't the place for this. “Can we not talk about this here.” My voice got even quieter. “Not with Finn here and Lauren and Rachel and all of them.”

“Yeah but do you remember what I said?”

“Yeah sort of.” I said panicking not knowing where this conversation was headed.

He leaned in close to me and whispered into my ear very seductive like saying,

“I said I loved you.” I closed my eyes not wanting him to say it. “I said it Quinn. I said I loved you when we had sex and that I loved you even more once you had my baby. And it's just been getting stronger and stronger. But this doesn't me that I'm in love with you but that I just love you. You see I figured it all out, like you told me to do.”

I felt relieved. It is all that I ever wanted from him. I got the better deal, to be that close to him and not have him. To be there for him through his relationships and family troubles. And always knowing he will be there for me. I smiled and said,

“I’m glad.” I leaned on his shoulder and fell asleep.

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