Left alone in my thoughts

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Over him

Alright my popularity is increasing. I got back on the Cheerios. It wasn't easy I had to beg to my church group to donate money for confetti cannons for Mrs. Sylvester but it was so worth it. It felt amazing to put that uniform back on. I felt empowered like nothing could stand in my way.

Until Santana came out of nowhere and pushed me. She was talking of how I told Mrs. Sylvester that she got a boob job over the summer. Whatever I got back on the squad I did what I had to do.

Oh and yesterday Rachel came into school dressed like a slut all because she had this Brittany dream. If she thinks will impress Finn she’s wrong he likes simple beautiful girls like me. And oh yeah they're still together thanks to me and my speech to Finn, he is even back on the football team.

Finn and I haven’t really spoken since then only a little about glee but that's all. He is too wrapped up in Rachel. He will get sick of her sooner or later she is way too controlling.

Puck and I haven’t talked at all. I have seen him sometimes at breadsticks with different girls. We smile at each other but nothing more. Except for this one day we were practicing for the pep rally and we were going to perform “Toxic” and of course I had to dance with Puck. Which I usually enjoy but this time I was dreading.

During the song I had to grab his suspender and pull it back and forth while looking sexy. At first I thought it was going to be awkward but Puck actually made it fun. He joked around while doing it. Saying oh yeah oh yeah! One time he pulled me into him and I could feel his abs and the warmth of his body. We just kind of starred at each other not blinking like the world around us was disappearing, it brought me back to how close we really got when I was pregnant. We were laughing so loud that we made everyone else turn around and look at us. But the weird thing is I wasn’t embarrassed I just looked at Puck laughing and he shrugged his shoulders while giving me that gorgeous smirk.

After the pep rally Rachel pulled me into the girls locker room. She told me that she was worried Finn was going to break up with her. I can’t lie that made me kinda happy but I couldn't understand why Rachel was talking to me about this like we were friends or something. Until she told me she wanted me to go up to Finn and ask him out by saying that we were both popular we would be perfect for eachother and that we would win homecoming. Surprisingly I said yes because secretly I was curious of what he would say. Maybe we would get back together and things would be like old times.

So I did what Rachel wanted and Finn said he still had feelings for me but he wasn't going to get back together with me because there was someone else, Rachel. The bane of my existence. I shouldn't be jealous of her because I'm the head cheerleader and super popular and all that but she now has my amazing quarterback ex-boyfriend. She is determined I’ll give her that all she wanted from day one was Finn and now she has him.

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