"You have no idea why he isn't in school today?" I asked Marcus about Mason. While we took my mother's car to school this morning.
"No, he just left me a text saying he wasn't coming in and that we needed to find a different way to school. He didn't say why and I didn't bother him about it." I was worried about Mason because whenever something like this happens. Its never good news and I hate it when these things go down. Marcus looked over at me. "Let's ditch." He said. I looked over at him as I pulled into the school parking lot.
"I'm not feeling it today. Let's go to the river and spend the day there." Marcus has never asked me to ditch school with him before. I kind of was feeling the same way he was, but of course, I was worried about getting caught. I knew he knew what I was thinking. "Come on Cans, it's our junior year. How much trouble can we really get into?" I just smiled at him and started the car back up. We took off and decided to go to the river closer to the next town over. It was a Thursday and we were sure no one would be on the river today. We made our way down to the river bank and took a seat.
"Can I ask you something?" I turned to Marcus and asked.
"Anything." He said while looking out at the river.
"I want to know how you feel about me?"
"What do you mean? I have already told you."
"No, I want to know how you feel and what it is you want from me. Just your feelings, I want to know you not you and Mason." He looked over at me and had a beautiful smile on his face.
"Okay, I'm scared."
"Yeah, I mean let's face it. Mason is the better choice. I have nothing to offer you except me. I dont know where my future is headed. I have a poor family life. I dont have money." I stopped him right there.
"This has nothing to do what you can offer me, Marcus. This only has to do with you, not your family or your money. I dont care about that. I would only care about you and I know you." He looked back out at the water.
"I knew you would say something like that, but the truth is, it does matter. At least it matters to me. I dont deserve you Candace and even though we're still just kids and everyone would say we know nothing about love. All I have right now is love. My feelings for you have always been the same. I have loved you for as long as I can remember and I think that's the reason why I never got serious with any females I have ever been with. You and Mason have always been the only thing in my life that was real for me. The only thing I have ever trusted. No matter how dark my world got. You were always my light. I have always been fucked up and you know it, but you have always made me better. I love you in a way that's hard for me to even understand. When you came home this summer. It was like you opened my eyes and made me realize that I needed you even more. I know you think we are only interested in you because you changed the way you looked but think about this. We are your closest friends. Do you think we didn't know just how beautiful you always were? You didn't always hide around us."
My heart was running wild listing to Marcus open up like this to me. I never knew just how deep his feelings were. I hate that he thinks he is not good enough for me. That breaks my heart for him to think that. I watched him for a moment not really knowing what to say at the moment. He turned his head to look back at me. I moved closer to him and laid my head on his shoulders. "Marcus, you are good enough. You have always been good enough for me." He turned his head and we were looking at each other right in the eyes. Our lips were only inches apart. I took a deep breath and moved my lips to his. It was like fire right away. My body came alive and his hands went around my face. I dont know what took over me, but I ended up on top of him and our kiss never broke. I felt his hands run down my sides. I ended up kissing him down his neck.
"Please dont stop." He said in my ear. He sat himself up and now I was in his lap and he pulled my lips back to his. His hands were in my hair and I had never left more alive. I couldn't believe I was here kissing my best friend. I couldn't believe that he wanted me. My mind was running wild and all I wanted to do was spend this day kissing him and feeling him touch me. His lips moved to the top of my shoulder and I let out a little moan. I sat back some and removed my shirt. His eyes were wild and full of lust. He pulled me back to him and started kissing my chest. "Tell me, Candace, tell me how you feel about me." He asked me in between kisses.
"You're my everything," I said and his kisses got even deeper.
"You have no idea how much I want you right now." He said and has he said those words. He pulled back some and took a few breaths.
"Why did you stop?" I asked him.
"Because this isn't right. At least not yet." I was so confused and I knew it showed on my face. He reader out and moved my hair away from my face. I just kept my eyes on his.
"Listen to me baby, this is not just about you and I. I need you to be sure who you really want to be with. I dont want you to regret sudden choices later on. I dont want hate to happen between any of us and Mason is not here and he loves you just as much. This is not fair, not yet. I want you to be sure it's me." I had to respect him for the words he was saying. If he felt anything like I did at this moment. Then I know what he just did was very hard for him. I can't say just how far I would have taken this, but I know all I cared about at this moment was being with him. He is right though. What if this would have been a mistake? A mistake we could have never taken back. I still want to kiss him though. I guess that makes me selfish. I sighed and moved off of him. I sat next to him and looked out at the water. "I hope you're not mad at me." I looked over at him.
"Of course I'm not mad. I understand and I know your right." He smiled at me and gently kissed my lips again. "I'm going to need some sort of reward for what I just did." He said and we both laughed.
"I hope Mason is okay," I said.
"Why dont you send him a text?" Marcus said. I nodded and pulled my phone out.
"Hey, it's me. I just wanted to check on you. Is everything okay?" I hit send and waited. I wasn't sure if he would even text me back right away or not. Then my phone dinged.
"I'll come to see you tonight. I need to talk to you and Marcus." I looked over at Marcus and showed him the text.
"Oh boy." Was all he said.
"Are you okay?" I texted him back.
"For now." Now I was really worried. I looked up at Marcus.
"Do you think we should just go to him now?" I asked him.
"I dont know, I mean if something big is going down. It might make it worse." Marcus was right. Anything that had ever happened in the past with Mason and his family and me or Marcus was there. It only got harder on Mason. I couldn't help that I was worried and I wanted to be there for Mason. I texted Mason back and told him that Marcus and I have skipped school and we were available to come to him if he needed us. He never texted me back. Marcus and I stayed out by the river the rest of the school hours and then headed home like normal. Nothing seemed to be out of sorts so I acted like nothing was different. Marcus stay with me as we waited for Mason to show up. We had dinner and it was doing nothing but getting later and later.
"Marcus, please send him a text asking where he is," I asked Marcus.
"Alright." I knew he was worried. I could see it on his face and I'm sure he could see my worry as well. That's when I saw Mason standing by the back door. He looked like his world was broken as I got up and went to his side.