Blame It On Me

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I wake up the next morning and realized that I slept in front of the door. I stretched my limbs out and stood up. I walked into the bathroom and cleaned my mess-of-a-self up. I changed into jeans and a t-shirt and packed my backpack up and got ready for my first period.

I opened the door and a body fell at my feet. I jumped back from being startled and realized that it was Riley. He groaned and slowly woke up. "Good morning doll face." He smiled awkwardly at me, but I just ignored him. I brushed past his yawning body and walked out of the hallway.

He actually slept in the hallway, for me?

A little smile tugged at the corner of my mouth but I erased it quickly as I headed into my classroom.

"If A+B•C=D, then what is D?" My teacher asked the class and write the equation on the board. "Brina." She called on me and I had a little panic attack.

"Uh, 360." I guessed.

"Correct." She smiled and wrote the number I told her on the board.

My classes roll by quickly and it's already lunch time (Sarcastic yay!). That just means that I have to sit with Riley and I don't want to.

After all that has happened between us, I just wasn't ready to face him.

"Where's Riley?" I asked Marcy as we sat down with our trays at our lunch table.

"He locked himself in your guy's dorm room. He refuses to eat or speak to anyone. He only wants to talk with you. You need to talk to him." Her voice was soft and her eyes were sad.

"I can't. I'm not ready to talk to him."

"I know that him throwing you to the ground was wrong, but you need to talk."

"I will talk when I'm ready. Can we please just stop talking about this please? It's making me upset."

"Yeah." They all started talking about other stuff. I just put in my head phones and blocked them out.

Everything that I have worked so hard on and built, has been broken down and destroyed. All because of one person. A boy, to be precise. And this boy is named Riley Jones. From the first day I met him, I knew he would change my life. I just didn't know if it would change in a positive way or a negative way. How could I let someone like him break the strong bond that I had in my heart and mind? I don't know. But whatever the answer is, it isn't coming fast enough.

I was ranting on and on in my own head. I was in a small café down town all by myself. I was drinking some hot chocolate and doing some homework that I brought with me.

It was nice and peaceful in here. I had my headphones in so I could tune out everyone else's conversations.

I struggled to focus on my homework. I was trying to do math, but I couldn't do it. All I could think about was Riley.

It didn't matter what I said to him, 'cause Kate was now back in his life and is going to take my place. I just didn't understand why he is allowed to kiss other people but I can't. It doesn't make sense. I know that he doesn't like Boomer or let alone even trust the guy. But it still doesn't give him the right to do what he did.

Boomer had a black eye from Riley, but Riley escaped the fight unscathed.

Life was just so complicated now and I don't know how to make it better. My heart is broken and my mind has been destroyed. I never asked for any of this. I just want things to go back to the way that they used to be.

When Riley and Marcy would have parties and we all partied and had fun. When there was less drama and when I had my peace of mind. But everything is unbalanced and someone needs to restore order.

After an hour of sitting alone and not finishing any of my homework, I left the café and went back to the university.

Riley was nowhere to be seen so I was thankful for that. I changed into to soft shorts and a Michigan State tank-top and went into the bathroom and did my normal routine (brush teeth, wash face, empty bladder).

Once all that was over and done with, I crawled into my bed and fell asleep.

𑁍Two Weeks Later𑁍

After all my classes where over, I went to my dorm room and saw Riley sitting underneath the covers on his bed.

That's just great. He's here. Please don't let him try and talk to me!

My mind prayed that he would just ignore me like I've been doing to him for the past two weeks. I sighed and went to my dresser when a big box and a vase full of black and red roses caught my eye. They were sitting neatly on my dresser.

The box was wrapped in black wrapping paper and had a red bow on top and the roses were in a beautiful glass vase with a white bow tied around it.

I opened the box and there was a stuffed teddy bear and big king sized Kit Kats. These are my favorite candy and I love teddy bears and I love black and red roses! There was a note and it said: I know that you hate me and will never forgive me for hurting you both physically and mentally, but I want you to know that I'm sorry. I knew that you loved Kit Kats so I got you some. I know you have nightmares and you sometimes cry in your sleep, so I got you a teddy bear to cuddle with. And I knew that black and red roses were your favorite flower so I didn't stop shopping until I found the perfect ones. You mean everything to me Naomi and I'm lost without you. It's been a torture for the past two weeks of not talking to you. Please talk to me again, I miss you...
~Love Riley

"Riley, I..." I turned to look at him, but he was gone. He must have left while I was distracted by the box. I wanted to run after him and go find him, but I chose not to.


I hugged the note to my chest and sat on the floor. I wiped my tears away, but more kept coming.

"Naomi? You still in here?" I turned around and saw Riley standing in the door way.

"Yeah." I got up from the ground and wiped my eyes.

"So, you read the note?" His eyes were sad and pure.

"Yeah." I looked to the ground.

"Will you talk to me now Naomi? I just-"

"You-you called me Naomi."


"But you always call me doll face."

"I know. But, I don't want to call you doll face without your permission. Not until me and you are okay."

"You can call me doll face."


"Yes. I forgive you Riley and I miss talking to you and you were just doing what you thought was right." I jumped into his arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"You deserve to be happy and if you think Boomer will make you happy, then-go be with him. I just want you to be careful." He sighed in my ear in a sweet, understanding voice.

"Thanks Riley. And if-if Kate is the girl-"

"She isn't. I let her go. She isn't the one for me."

"Who is?"

"I dunno. No one maybe? I just wish the girl I love would just tell me so that I know it's actually her." He sighed.

I love you Riley, at least I think I do. I just can't tell you.

My heart was heavy with sadness and my mind was lost.

"Want to watch Teen Wolf with me? I just want to put everything behind us and move forward." Riley suggested as he carried me to his bed.

"Yes. We just need to act like these past three weeks never happened." I smiled into his neck. I sat down and he grabbed the tv remote and put on Teen Wolf. He wrapped me in his arms as I sat on his legs and leaned against him.

"You comfy?" He asked.

"Yes." I smiled.

"Good. I'm glad we're talking again doll face."

"Me too." I giggled as he pecked my cheek a few times.

Kate's out of my way now and now all I have to do is let Boomer go. How the hell do I do that? I was worrying about my future but I decided to forget it and focus on right now.
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