Blame It On Me

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L E A V I N G H O M E

N A O M I

“I can’t believe you’re actually leaving me, I thought we were best friends, sisters even." Kimberly complained to me.

"I'm sorry that my dream college accepted me...? We are still sisters and best friends, I will just be away for a while." I gave her a sad puppy look.

"I'll die without you. Your school is so far away. Why can't you just go to Texas Tech with me? I mean, what does California have that Texas doesn't?"

"Because I don't want to go there and you only want to go there so you can see the Cowboys. And California has lots of things: ocean, famous people, and less dust."

"So? It's not my fault for wanting to see their chiseled bodies and see them riding a white horse shirtless. And those are not valid reasons!"

"I doubt they do that. That's not a real thing. And yes they are." I shook my head at her like a parent would to shut down their kid's wild dreams.

"Well it could be! Oh whatever!" She defended herself. I rolled my eyes and finished packing my bags. "I beg of you, please don't go!" Kimberly got down on her knees and pleaded for me to stay.

"Oh come on Kims! I got to go say goodbye to your parents." I walked around her and headed downstairs.


"Okay, be safe and I know I'm not your dad, but if any boys give you trouble, you call me and I'll show up with my shotgun." Mr. Lockenour laughed. I smiled with him and nodded my head in agreement. "Your parents would be very proud of you." He said kindly.

"I know. I just wish they where here." I looked to the ground with saddened eyes. Mrs. Lockenour wrapped her arms tightly around my shoulders.

"They're still here. They just navigated to your heart." Her smile was sweet and kind.

"Thank you so much for raising me and helping me go to college. I know it must've been hard to raise both Kims and I at the same time, but you did. My parents were smart for making you my Godparents and leaving me in your care." I looked at both of them and they embraced me.

"Of course. Your parents always knew what was best for you. And plus, you were the easier kid to raise than Kimberly. Just call us if you need anything. And always know that you have a home to come back to." Mr. Lockenour spoke smoothly. Tears began to swell into my eyes.

"Crap, my makeup." I laughed.

"I got it!" Kimberly helped me fix my mascara.

"Thank you, for being my best friend and being the Stiles Stilinski to my Scott McCall."

"Aw, you're welcome! You're going to make me cry."

"Sorry." We laughed and held each other.

"Are you sure you don't want us to drive down with you?" Mrs. Lockenour asked me.

"It's okay. Thank you, but you should take your daughter to her college." I smiled while putting the rest of my bags into the trunk of my jeep.

"Oh honey, you are a daughter to us."

"And you're like parents to me. I should get going if I don't want to get stuck in traffic. I'll be back home soon. Break isn't that far from now, just three months."

"Okay. We love you and please be safe."

"I love you too and I promise I will. I'll see y'all later." I gave them each one more hug and shed a few more tears with them, before getting into my jeep.

I started the engine and pulled out the drive way with my hand out the window waving to Kimberly and her parents. I stared at the dirt road that lied ahead of me. I plugged in my phone's music and blared my Sad Song playlist.

I sang along quietly to the melody. Tears tried to jail break out of my eyes, but I wouldn't let them. "Come on Naomi. Get it together. Your emotions make you weak. Feel nothing, and they can't control you." I breathed in and out deeply.

Just relax. Don't let your tears consume you with doubt and regret.

I thought, trying as hard as I could to keep myself from crying. I turned up the volume to drown out the sound of my thoughts that were running through my head. I felt like turning my jeep around and going back to Kimberly’s house and apply for a different college more closer to them, but I couldn't. I need to be out on my own and become a independent woman.

I can't keep depending on them to kiss my 'boo boo' and make me feel better. I've got to make my own decisions now and I just have to accept that I'm not a little kid anymore.


Four long, and boring hours later, I'm still driving. I stopped a while ago to get some food from McDonald's. I haven't talked to anyone nor have I gotten any pleading calls from Kimberly or her parents begging me to come back to their house. The road was trafficked with hundreds of cars. Some flashy and others trashy.

It was already 5 o'clock in the afternoon and I was in desperate need to get onto the freeway to escape some of the backed up traffic. I waited for a few cars to pass, then I tucked tail and booked it.

I got off onto the freeway and smiled. I had my shades on and my music blaring.

We made it Naomi. Don't know how, but we made it.

I thought to myself. My mind was at peace, but my heart was struggling to be at ease. My heart beat was nervously rising in my chest.

Oh come on now, don't freak out. College will be great. You're away from that small town, you'll make new friends, and maybe your roommate won't be so bad.

I tried to reassure myself. I took a few deep breaths and focused on the road.


"Hey. How's the road trip to college?" Kimberly asked while she Face Timed my phone.

"It's pretty good I guess. I'm at a hotel right now. I'll be leaving in the morning and hopefully get to my school by 3 o'clock in the afternoon." I smiled at her in my phone's tiny camera.

"You look exhausted. Like you look awful."

"Oh wow, thanks."

"Sorry, but I had to tell you the truth."

"I rather you lie to me about how I look."

"Okay then. You look like Beyoncé. Your weave is on fleek."

"I hate you."

"Well you told me to lie."

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes and brushed my hair.

"Have my parents called you yet?"

"Yeah, right after they left Texas Tech."

"Did they try to guilt trip you to coming back home?"

"Yes. I felt bad, but this is my dream school Kimberly. I can't abandon my dreams. My mother always told me: 'never stop shooting for the stars,' and I won't stop shooting until I get to my star."

"You sound just like your mom you know."

"I've been told that before." I smiled sadly at the thought of my mother.

"Well I should let you get your beauty sleep. You really need it because you kind of look like a rejected Barbie doll." Kimberly laughed and scrunched up her little face. I gave her a death look, but it didn't last long. She made me laugh and we said our goodbyes and hung up.

I got undressed and put on some pajamas I had in one of my suitcases. I made sure my hotel door was locked and set my alarm clock. I went into the bathroom, which was all white and neatly clean, and brushed my teeth and washed my face. I shut the lights off, climbed into the queen sized bed, and put on some music.

'Yeah listen here! Uh oh. Oh you little heart breaker, you little heart shaker. Don't shake your finger at me no no.'

The music played softly so that it couldn't wake anyone else but played loud enough so that I could hear it.

'I'm not that little darlin' I don't beg your pardon. I'm trouble with a capital T. Yeah yeah. I'm no angel, there's no stopping me. Here I come! Here I come! Here I come!'

"Well I'm your bad seed rising. Ain't no use denying. This girl ain't a good girl no more." I sang along quietly to the song. I sang and I sang until I finally drowned to sleep.


I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock beeping and Nirvana signing about teen spirit. I rubbed my eyes and stretched my limbs out. It was five in the morning and the streets were quiet with a car or semi passing by here and there.

I washed my face, plastered on makeup, got dressed, packed up all my things, and went to the front desk to check out.

"Good morning Miss Rosse." The counter man greeted me as I walked down the lobby stairs.

"Good morning Mr. Johnson." I smiled to him. Mr. Johnson was an older man, maybe in his fifties. He had fading black hair, green eyes, a big nose, pale skin, and was very tall.

"Are you checking out?" He asked me.

"Yes. I need to get back on the road if I want to get to my school on time." I smiled.

"Alright. Your bill is $50." I handed him $50 and an extra $10 for his tip. "Have fun at school and get good grades. This world needs less morons." He laughed.

"I will, I promise." I smiled and waved goodbye.

I put my bags in my Jeep and pulled out of the parking lot. The sky was semi-dark with gray clouds streaking in it. It was very peaceful and calming. There were a decent amount of cars on the highway, but not packed, which made me happy.

'Who's gonna listen when run out of lies? Who's gonna hear you when your words seem worthless? Who's gonna save you when you're out of time?'

I had All Time Low playing through my stereo. They were one of my favorite bands. I love rock, metal, grunge, rap, and alternative music.

I grew up with music. Both of my parents were huge 90's grunge fans. They had all the grey tracks and tons of records. They took me to some concerts when I was little before they died.

My dad had an electric guitar and he bought me a little drum set when I was six. We used to rock out together and sing Nirvana together. Those were the golden days and I missed them.

It pained me to think about my parents. I didn't like to talk about them much either because it caused my heart and my mind too much pain. Tears rolled down my cheeks at the thought of them. I wiped them off and tried to calm down.

"Don't cry. They would be proud of you for accomplishing your goals." I said to myself. I often talked down to myself to keep from letting my mind crumble into nothingness.

'So don't you call my name! I will take you down. You should've knowledge you've been dancing with a wolf. So don't you call my name! I will take you down. I'm not your friend, you burned the bridge. I'll chew you up and spit you out!'

I turned up the volume to block out the thoughts of my parents.


Eight long hours later, I finally arrived in sunny California! The sun shined brightly down on the earth. There were people everywhere. Some were swimming in the ocean at the beach, others were skating or walking down the sidewalk, and others were driving. They all seemed happy and were enjoying their day.

After a few more minuets of driving down little streets and passing houses, I finally saw Kings-Gate University peaking behind palm trees.

"Holy shit Naomi!" I said to myself in awe. The school was huge. It looked like a freaking castle! It had brown bricks, gigantic towers, lots of Windows, a black metal entrance gate, a stone driveway, green grass, rose gardens, and water fountains everywhere.

There were students everywhere with their parents, all chatting and hugging and saying their fair wells. It ached my heart a little to see others with their parents but I put it aside.

I found a parking spot and grabbed my two suitcases out of the trunk. I walked alone to the front doors of the building and took a deep breath.

'You can do this.'

I told myself and I walked through the doors.

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