Stuffing my cheeks with more sweetness from the jar he just bought for me, on top of my shift make living room consisting of broken white fur couch isn't exactly how I plan my afternoon to be. Let me take you back to a simpler time. When thy sky is showing its lapiz color and I about to scream my heads off to the guy that's standing infront of me, I can't help but feel bad and oddly statisfied by the sight that present itself at me.
There he is, Yohan Grant, standing infront of my newly acquired apartemen with bandaids all over his solemn looking face. I can't help but plastered a smug smile on my face as soon as I reach the conclusion that Anne probably have done more damage than what it seems. I taught her well, serve him right for making me opening a door for him whilst I'm at the midsts of my sleeping programme.
The nervousness that present itself on his face is clear as day for me, how the sweat starting to form on the nape of his neck isn't exactly helping his case either, "Surprise?" He laugh, not a genuinely laugh mind you, it's the kind of laugh that people usually tend to squeak out whenever they were caught red-handed doing something isn't exactly... admirable.
I raised my eyebrows at how much of his obliviousness that's clearly starting to creep on my throath, making me more annoyed at him than what I already am, "How much?"
Bullseye, caught his troath. By the time he noticed what's happening his eyes have gone wider than ever before. Showcasing full view of his honey coloured eyes that slightly toppling over me, "W-what do you mean Meera?"
Let me tell you for a fact that this guy is not the type of guy who occasionally visits you for the sake of 'catching up'. Oh heck no. In case you were wondering instances like this had happened before in similar manners. I remember a few year back. Right after my break up with him who shall not be name, Yohan, the guy that's still towering infront of me sweating bullets like there's no tomorrow, is by fact the fastest person that comes running to my doorstep. Trying his best to somewhat do his 'job', yeah literally 'job' since I figured out a few days later him being the supposed comforting best friend for me comes with a prize that's a clear payment from my own godforsaken mother.
I got so angry with the both of them I completely ran out off home, few blocks bellow, straight into the den of the Beenhouwer's, while teaching Anne how to bite someone heads off for further reassurance that Yohan wouldn't dare to step even an inch close to the perimeter of the Beenhouwer's. Let's just say I did too much of a good job hence till now Anne's kept wanting to bite his head off even If I didn't tell her to. And I know for a fact that he's here for an unspoken mission, an unspoken mission that I would certainly not let him complete.
"Don't play dumb Yohan," He visibly gulped, "How much did my mom pay you this time?"
And that's it, I bet you five bucks he's trying to abort missions. It's clear as day that all hell broke loose inside his pretty little head. "I still don't under-"
Okay you know what I had enough of this. My plan to not elaborate any further by shutting the stained by foot print door, was cut short when I feel that there's some foreign object that's stopping me from completely obliterating my contact with him. Looking down I notice that the little mongrel has stuck out his vans laced feet in between the door jamb. Oh it's on.
I was glaring at him even harder while he's obviously struggling to take stance infront of my presence. "I guess I kinda improve my sk-"
Before the little mongrel finishes his last words I decided to gave him what he wanted by continuously jamming his feet squishing it with the wooden door that's with in my reach. With the hope that each time I jam the door it would've gave him a severe case of broken feet. You know what. This is why you don't mess with a pretty little girl that's trying to get some sleep.
"T-three complimentary drinks at the Labyrinth!"
I stopped at this. This guy is crazy. He comes out here to the downtown of Texas for the sake and the chance of getting drunk on my mom's club, again? Geez he's clearly not helping himself by fueling my anger that slowly tipping off the brim of my patience.
Patience is a virtue my butt. He obviously asked for this. One more glance at his annoying face then I proceeded to then jamm the door even harder making him visibly wince once more.
"I got cookies!"
Hold on. Food? I look down at his hads, some of his fingers was on cast forcing me to remember the other night, when I abused him by squeezing his fingers in between a car door. Yeah now I surely feel bad. Let's just hope that this time It won't resulted in him wearing a cast on his feet.
I smile sheepishly at him. Trying to focusing my vision on the two jars of cookies that was sitting on his hands instead, I gotta admit the guy is quick. He knew I can't say no, especially if there's food present. After having internal battle wether or not I should bite the bait which is chocolate chips cookies that's still sitting on his hads. In the end I almost lost, quoted almost because I quickly snatch the two jars of cookies out of his grasp smilling at him as I do so but ending up shutting the door completely at his face instead.
Victory for me babyyy, I was so emerge on the precious being on my hands to even notice that there a slowly fuming mongrel that's groaning right behind my entrance.
"Dude c'mon! I'm here for reinforcement!" Yohan said as he desperately trying to pry the door handle off, "Open the door Ameera!"
By the time he was once again pounding on the door, I knew that I had to make sacrifices for my lovely babies. If not, I knew too dang well that he wouldn't leave me alone to savore the goodness that lace these chocolate chips cookies in peace. Rolling my eyes I reluctantly turned the door handle making his face once again lining up with my vision.
"On one condition." Yes, you heard me correctly. Ameera Haddid for the first time in her 18 years fulfilling life trying her best to compromise with someone. My mom is gonna be so proud once he heard anything about this.
"Yes, yes anything!" I chuckled, still can't believe that I make this grown man begging internally for me to quickly end his suffering.
"The cookies is mine!" As the last sentence roll down my tongue I could feel the relief emitting from Yohan as he kisses the ground next to him. Rolling my eyes for the hundredth times today I can't think of anything other than how much of a dramaquenn he is. Jamming his feet with the possibility of destroying it is barely nothing.
And there you go ladies and gentleman, that's how we're ended up sprawling on the couch at the comfort of my new home with me stuffing my cheeks with the goodness that is chocolate cookies with Yohan staring at the sidelines. Begging with his puppies doe eyes for a bite but Nu-uh-uh I ain't gonna give the rights for these cookies so easily. He either get the crumbs or suck his thumb because I ain't gonna give him any.
"So..." Yohan trails of. I watch him coriously, feeling the pity starting to raise in my stomach seeing how desperate he is to defuse the awkwardness that slowly but surely trying to build up inside the room.
Meh serve him right for trying to disturb my peace. I know, I know how could I be so petty right? Well pettiness is a luxury so use it well while you still can.
He sigh, clearly frustated at the state we're in right now. Good, I want him to be, it's not a crime to ignore him somemore right? "Care to explain what's going on before I need to go to the doctor to fix my broken feet?" Oh it spoke, shocking. Note the sarcasm, it was dripping really.
Giving him one last sideway glance I decide to answer him anyway, it's shocking how I'm still putting up with him really. Trust me its totally not the other way around. "Haven't my mom told you what happen back at the campus?" I said to him trying to sound as vague as possible avoiding the disgusting memory that threatening to resurface. I mean he could work it out himself didn't he? My mom is basically the gossip girl career woman version. So she should probably spill some beans to him by now.
He run his hads thoroughly down rubbing his neck, "Yeah... I knew the bigger picture. But what about you?"
His last question strike my curiosity, raising my eyebrows at him before opening my mouth once more. "Yea what about me?"
He cough before clearing his throat, throwing me a question I wouldn't have thought he would ask ever before. "Are you okay?"
Well that's awkward. For a moment I stop my chompers from bitting another bite of the heavenly being. I hate to admit it, he got good points too. The most befitting answer is that I don't even know whether I'm okay or not. My feelings seems like a storm since this morning. I myself could hardly decipher what's going on inside my head. Am I okay?
I hesitate for a second before forcefully choke the answer out of my gritted teeth, "I-I'm fine."
Okay that's a transparent lie, so transparent that a mongrel like Yohan could figure it out easily. "We both know you're not fine Ameera. Wanna talk about it?"
Once again, a fake smile was plastered on my face. "No way in heck."
Way to go Ameera, nice way to make it more awkward. What about just bonk me in the head with a sledgehammer? At least it's better than sitting face to face having a staring contest with Yohan. Our silence felt like it has been going on for decade even though it's probably only a few second.
Of course being his usual self he decided to broke it by standing up. "I take that as my cues to leave." Just before he walk away from me I Unconsciously grab his hand on demand. I don't why I suddenly flung myself to him. I just don't really feel like being alone right now. I know my mind would travel anywhere if I am alone. And sure as heck my mind wouldn't be traveling to paradise.
"M-maybe just a little wont hurt." I said while bitting the inside of my cheek. Thank god Yohan gave me a sideway smile before ruffling my hand with his finger and ploping his butt down on the couch again.
Take a deep breath Ameera. "I-I don't know what to do Yohan." I said with hesitation dripping from my lips.
Yohan squeez my hand ever so sofly for further reassurance, and I continued. "I knew I don't love him anymore Yohan. I knew that he doesn't love me anymore. But I just-I just hope" Without me even noticing nor care tears start streaming down my cheeks on a diagonal line.
"If you're not ready you don't have to..." He whisper to me sofly while I'm chocking on more tears. But I know I don't want to stop. I need this to be out of my chest.
"No! I-I want to let go! I want to be free from the feelings, I want to feel good about myself again Yohan. I want to feel happy without thinking of him every other day. I want to be strong without him."
And then without second notice his arms flung around me. Taking my shaking body in his warm embrace. "The thing is you are. You are what you just said Ameera you're free. you're strong. And you are you. Even without him you are still you."
That's it, the dam has been destroyed. Now I was crying so hardly again Yohan chest. He keep tangling my hair tugging it to give me more comfort while I was sniffling pathetically against his shirt. After I felt more like myself again I pulled away from him. He's taking my face in between his hands. Rubbing the stream line of tears with his thumb slowly.
"Oh god I look so pathetic aren't I?" I chuckled. Snort in coming.
He shook his head denying my every sentence, piercing into my eyes with his honey color irises. "No you are anything but pathetic Ameera."
My eyes practically shone pircing back to his, "Thankyou Yohan." I laugh, I feel like my former self was forming bubbling inside my chest. That strong, willed Ameera. I miss her. "Even though you're here because of my mom thankyou for trying. I knew I could be difficult sometimes but thankyou."
He was biting his pierced lips trying so hard to hide the guilt that flashes on his eyes. "Uhh you know I would come even without the bribe Ameera. And I know alcohol wouldn't help much but... If you want we could go to labyrinth together this weekend. I mean if you don't wanna drink at least I don't know dance till you cramps?"
He shrugged while I'm laughing my head off at this. Ah, Yohan and his weird way of comforting. "I'll think about it Yohan, I'll think about it."
After chit-chatting for a little bit more than intended, in the end he bids me goodbye. He says that there's business he needs to take care of regarding his brother. One and only one of his family member that I knew of, Rafael Grant. Then he left but soon enough I found myself standing infront of the door of my newly unknown neighbor. The one that live across the hallway from mine.
Loneliness does something to you. Like sacrificing the only cookies jar left in order to make small chat with someone. With one intake of breath, I knock the simillar wooden door that was facing me. I just hope that whoever it is that live across from me wouldn't be a total creep of some sort.
I took a few seconds until a petite Asian lady. With an almost greying hair open the door slightly. Greeting me with her warm chocolate colour eyes. "The name is Trisha Scott. Do you need some help dear?"
Secretly I blew a relief breath out. Giving her my utmost genuine smile, "My name Is Ameera Haddid Mrs. Scott. I'm here to give you some of this," I said as I hold the cookies jar closer to my face shaking it slowly for her to notice.
A small gasp escape her lips, "Oh my," Before another big smile was plastered on her face while she reaches out to take the cookies jar from me. Bye bye cookies, be good to Misses Trisha, gave her and her family plenty of happiness and nutrition okay? "how nice of you, please address me as Trisha."
My eyes lit up at her tenderness. "Well nice knowing you Trisha I actually just move here recently." I said as I point my thumb across to the door that I knew so well was my new home. "So I think It would be nice to greet the neighbor."
Okay the real reason why I'm here is because I'm freaking lonely when Yohan left. But it wouldn't kill me to be polite once in while geez. "Nice to meet you too honey. Oh how rude of me, let's go inside I wanted you too meet my son."
I heard someone grumble coming from the inside of her apartment. Assuming that its her son. "Ignore him I don't think he has taken any of his chill pill today."
"Hey! I heard that!" The voice shouted from inside as Trisha and I both broke into laughter. But there's something on his voice. Something familiar but I can't seem to put my finger on it. I shrugged it off. Probably just one of my mid-day imagination.
I knew that this is one of that matchmaking schemes that parents usually did to their kids. But I'm not up for it okay? It's just that I don't think I'm really capable of developing feeling for anyone at the time. I don't want Trisha to expect anything from me and her son. She's a nice lady, it would be a shame to dissapoint her because I can't be in a relationship.
So I shook my head apologetically, "Sorry Trisha raincheck okay? I have to go down and buy some couple things to complete my apartment." It's not really a lie since I do have to buy a new clock to put on my night stand. One look at the analogue clock and my head started to spin.
Trisha look quite dissapointed for a while, making me feel bad, but I gotta take my stand. "Dang it you gotta fill that raincheck sooner then. I bet you guy would look cute together." See, matchmaking game dude.
After that I bid my goodbye for her. With the feeling of new horizon inside my chest for a while I think that maybe, just maybe everything wouldn't be so bad. That everything would be okay and that everything would go well for me. I sigh, I can't help it. My little heart can't help to hope.
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