I was sleeping peacefully. Well, to say the truth, it wasn’t peaceful; I was in a devastated state until I woke up with a jerk. It was normal when seeing a dream like the one I had, although it wasn’t a dream exactly, it was a nightmare. A nightmare that named itself my best friend and fulfilled its ‘best friend duties’ by coming to visit me every night. I hated this dream because it portrayed my deepest fear, scaring me like hell by showing me my past. It left me broken and I would never forget; it was something I wouldn’t let be in my future.
Since my childhood, it is my daily routine not to have a sound sleep and to wake up everyday with the same pain, the same fear. It wad the same every night, I used play and laugh with two people, but I wouldn't see their faces though I was sure they were my parents; I always felt happy at that time. Everything was so colorful, as if they radiated happiness. But that was before everything became dark; they vanished into the void of light, leaving me all alone in that dark place. I feel suffocated and scared, scared of losing my loved ones, of being in the dark. Unable to breath due to the suffocation of fear, I’d wake up at the same time every morning; as I just did.
Waking up from the nightmare, I sit up in bed for moment to calm myself. I sit with my legs crossed and head in my hands, still feeling suffocated; I can’t breathe. My heart is unsteady, my breathing labored. It takes me a while to gain control, but when I do, I get up from the bed and go to the washroom.
“Good luck for another torturous week, Anna.” I wish myself as I walk to the washroom. I still can’t believe that the weekend is over. I can hardly believe that two days, forty-eight hours had passed so soon. Saturday and Sunday are over, the weekend is over and it’s Monday already. It was as if I blinked once and two days are gone! Maybe I exaggerate a bit, but it feels as if it had.
After brushing my teeth and washing my hands, I quickly get dressed, wearing a pair of worn our jeans and a high-neck T-shirt. Then, I pull a jean jacket on, the shade matching my jeans. Now dressed, I comb through my hair and pull it into a ponytail. Unlike the other girls at my school, I’m not a fan of make-up; I find it irritating. What’s the point of showing people the fake you? I hate to show people the false true. I know I’m not good looking, but it doesn’t bother me. Beauty is not skin deep; it is the light in your heart. To me, inward beauty is more precious that outward beauty. Despite how I feel about beauty, I know I suffer from an inferiority complex because of my looks, I wish I was beautiful like the other girls at my school.
Ready to go, I grab my light-blue bag, already filled with my necessities including my mobile. What would have I done without this cute small device? It’s my partner in my lonely life. The whole day, when I’m free, I remain busy with my mobile, especially when I’m at home; I pretty lonely by myself. I live alone and am too far away from the city so my friends—well, friend—can’t always come and visit nor can I go to their place. I can’t afford an apartment in the city, they costly and I need to maintain the other things in my life.
My apartment is small with only one bedroom, a kitchen adjoining the dining and living room. The rooms are smaller than any room should be. While it isn’t a large house, maintaining the cost of the house is more than enough to bear all of my expenses alone.
I take my breakfast out of the microwave and eat it while scrolling through my news feed in Wattpad. There isn’t anything new to read, only one update and a couple of comments on my story. Replying to the comments, I start to read the story, enjoying my breakfast.
Finishing my breakfast, I go down to say hello to my bicycle. I love cycling, especially in this weather when the sky is completely blue and the white clouds form pictures on the blue canvas of the sky. But alas! I don’t have time to enjoy the beautiful weather. It’s the first day of the week; I had a lot to do. Remembering my daily routine, I sigh; I’m going to have a long day ahead.