Confession of a Gay Gangster

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chapter 30

[isaiah]

My lips were still tingling. I stared at Liam with wide eyes, my heart beating out of my chest.

Did he just…kiss me?

“Liam, are you—”

F*ck, I had to stop myself from asking if he was in love with me. That’s too fast. I mean, maybe he just kissed me because he was overwhelmed. The shocked expression on his face proved it.

“I-I’m so sorry,” he stammered, pulling back away quickly. “I didn’t know what came over me, that was stupid.”

Liam was panicking. It hurt to see that he’s regretting his actions. That was my first kiss, you idiot. You don’t get to say you’re sorry for kissing me, not when I’m clearly interested in you.

I refused to waste this opportunity given to me. I had a feeling Liam liked me too, he wouldn’t kiss me if he didn’t, right? At some point, our feelings were mutual. If only I could confirm it—I reached out to grab his shoulders and before I knew it, I was already kissing him. It was clumsy and I’m embarrassed for doing something I didn’t know how, but Liam took over. He tilted his head, the tip of his nose brushing against mine as we kissed. His lips were soft and warm, I wanted to bite them.

Maybe I could.

My teeth sunk onto his lips and I swore I almost lost it when I heard that soft moan. It sounded so sexy and innocent at the same time.

F*ck.

I’m so turned on right now.

How was it possible to be this attracted to someone? I’d met handsome people, albeit not as handsome and charismatic as Liam, but even then, I wouldn’t give a damn about their existence. Liam was the only exception and I hated that he’s making me feel like a foolish teenage girl in love for the first time.

Because I am.

I’m so in love with him. Everything he does just enthralled me, it’s ridiculous. I wanted to know more about him, even if it’s about things he didn’t want me to know.

Pulling back from me, we stared at each other’s eyes for the longest time. I couldn’t breathe properly. His gaze melted me, the thousand emotions he’s trying to convey with just his eyes moved me. I swallowed the lump in my throat, hard. And he saw it.

“I—that was…that’s…” I was a mumbling mess, shit. Why am I acting like this was my first kiss? You idiot, Isaiah! This was your first kiss. “That was nice,” I whispered, laughing awkwardly at him.

Liam blinked. “You didn’t hate it?” he asked.

I eyed him as if he had lost his mind. Why in the world am I going to hate it? The one I’d been crushing for was kissing me. And I kissed him back. How perfect could it even get? “No, of course not. I just don’t kiss anyone if I don’t like them.”

It wasn’t a straightforward confession, but I hoped Liam gets it. I couldn’t dare tell him that I loved him and ruin this growing relationship of ours. I’m willing to wait until he was ready to open himself up. I knew he had demons he had to control, and the fact that his brother still had power over him, whatever relationship we had, it wouldn’t be that easy to handle. Unlike me, Liam had tons of problems he had to deal with. The only thing I had to think of was how to survive North Vale. I didn’t have responsibilities as he had. Just like what Maria said, our worlds were different.

I saw him lowered his head. “I enjoyed it too,” he said, his voice muffled. “I really do.”

Oh, God. Was it possible for someone to be this overjoyed just from hearing those words? My heart swelled in sheer bliss and I couldn’t contain the big grin forming on my face. It was my first kiss and Liam enjoyed it. As stiff as I was in exchanging kisses, he still appreciated it.

“Thanks, I guess,” I said, forcing another laugh.

We fell into silence for a long time. I just stared outside the window, eyeing the trees swaying along with the wind. Our peace was interrupted when Liam spoke. “I don’t know how I can do this,” he admitted.

“What?” I asked, turning to look at him.

The turmoil he’s facing surfaced on his face and I was suddenly worried. “I don’t want to drag you in my business, what my family and I have been dealing with…you’re not supposed to know.”

He’s right. The Torres-Shao family were involved in illegal activities—crimes that I didn’t want to know. But does it matter when the only person that mattered was Liam? Not his family. I couldn’t care less about them. Liam was Liam. Not a Torres-Shao or any other guy that he’s known for.

It’s just Liam.

“Then don’t tell me,” I said, smiling at him. “Take your time. While I wait, I’ll also ready myself for what you’re about to say to me.”

His eyebrows furrowed. He was in disbelief. I would be too. I’m acting like I was desperate for something, but the truth was that I just wanted to be with him. Even with no strings attached. If what he wanted was friendship, then so be it. I’m willing to be his friend for as long as we could.

“You’re unbelievably mature for someone our age, Isaiah, did you know that?” he asked, flashing me an amused smile.

“You’ll have to thank my dad for that. He toughed me how to be patient,” I said, remembering all the times that dad scolded me for being hot-tempered. Nothing good would bring if I acted like an impatient idiot all the time. And if there’s a quote I’d bring to my grave, it’d be dad’s words.

“How about we try it?”

I froze. “Try? Try what?” I asked. I mentally scolded myself for sounding too enthusiastic.

Remember, Isaiah. Let him take his time.

“This…thing,” he said, his cheeks getting red. Damn it! Why did he have to look so goddamn adorable?!

“What thing?” I urged.

He played with his thumbs, his eyes darting everywhere but me. With a trembling voice, he said, “being boyfriends?”

I bit my lip to stop myself from giggling like a fool.

“Yes!”

--

“Well, aren’t you particularly chirpy today?”

I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as soon as I entered the dorm room. Leander was already sitting at his desk, turning to face me. His brow was raised as he watched me almost skipped to my bed.

“Considering what happened this afternoon, I reckoned something good happened with Liam?” he asked.

I chuckled, and that immediately dropped the smile on Leander’s face. “Come on, dude. You’re scaring me.”

“Something good did happen today, Leander,” I said, nodding at him. An unforgettable moment that I’d play over and over in my head. The way Liam looked at me after saying that we should try dating—this was my first real relationship and I’m so blessed to date someone I liked! I knew I was right. We did have mutual feelings. Liam wouldn’t suggest dating if he wasn’t interested in me, right?

“Good for you,” he said, “but the teacher wasn’t so happy that the new student was absent for the rest of the afternoon class.”

I gulped. Oh shit, I forgot about that. I did skip classes. “But you did something about it, right?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows at Leander.

He grimaced. “Yes, I did. You’re fortunate I know how to coax people.”

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Oh, I just told him that you have diarrhea and that you were shitting everywhere. And that’s because you’re not used to the fancy food that North Vale is serving. That made everyone laughed, and so did the teacher,” he said, grinning mischievously at me.

Even after tarnishing my reputation in class didn’t bring my mood down. I just grinned at Leander. “Thanks! What can I do to pay you back?” I asked. In some way, Leander was one of the many reasons why this afternoon became memorable. If he didn’t cover for me, I would have faced a lot more trouble than being known for having diarrhea because of eating expensive food.

Leander just rolled his eyes at me. “Help me with our homework.”

“Sure!”

I stood up to take my clothes off. The stifling uniform was getting on my nerves, and it was unbearably hot on my way back to the dorm. After Liam drove us back, it was hard to say goodbye. I wanted to stay and talk to him some more, maybe admire his face and kiss him again.

My face was hot after remembering Liam’s lips against mine. Shit, I wanted to turn back time and do it again, over and over!

“You alright, Isaiah?” Leander asked, snapping me back from my delusion.

I hurried to toss the blazer on the bed and marched to where he was. “Of course, I’m fine. Do I not look like I’m fine?”

He blinked at me. “No, you look like you just had your first kiss.”

My jaw dropped open, my heart almost jumped out of my chest. How did he—“No! What makes you think that happened?!”

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Just help me with the homework. And you can’t skip classes anymore. The student council will kill you.”

I raised a brow. “Student council?” I asked. “The president is Liam’s brother, right?” The little f*cker.

“Yeah, why?”

I pulled my chair next to him and sat down. “Is he really that scary?” It’s stupid to even ask someone who’s also new in school. But Leander seemed like the type who knows everything about anything.

“Scary is not even the right term to describe the president,” Leander said. “He’s a psychopath, from what I heard. And he had killed several students here in North Vale.”

I tried not to scoff. Kill, huh? I’d only believe it if I see it. “You’re lucky you didn’t get to meet the demon. I won’t be talking to you now if you did.”

I wanted to tell him he’s overreacting but didn’t. “I talked to Maria.”

He snapped his head at me, surprised. “What? You talked to who?”

“Maria, the headmistress. Do you know her?” I asked.

“Yeah. How did you talk to her? And why did you talk to her?”

His full attention was now on me, his homework that he’s working on completely disregarded. He’s weirdly interested in Maria, huh? I wondered why. “Liam brought me to her.”

“Liam did?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I said I wanted to talk to her. About Tyler.”

Leander’s eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. “Are you out of our mind?” he asked.

Now it’s my turn to look at him in disbelief. “What?” I asked, exasperated. “What’s wrong with what I did?”

“You’re a new student here in North Vale and you’re already choosing the wrong people to latch onto. You’re going to get yourself killed, Isaiah,” he warned, his eyes narrowing at me.

“What’s wrong with befriending Liam?” I asked, annoyed. He’s making it sound like I should regret my decision about dating him, even if he didn’t know that we were in fact dating.

“Everything’s wrong with befriending Liam Torres-Shao, dude,” he retorted. “He’s a Torres-Shao. They’re bad people.”

“The Torres-Shao are the bad people, not Liam,” I said, defending Liam without falter.

Leander scoffed. “It’s the same, Isaiah. Liam is a Torres-Shao. And that won’t ever change.”

--

I regretted helping Leander with his homework. But then again, it’s also my homework as we attended the same classes. I couldn’t sleep after his little rant about Liam and the Torres-Shao. I’m irritated that he’s talking bad about Liam, but I couldn’t deny that what he said was true.

I buried my face in the pillow. Why was this all so complicated? Why couldn’t I just be happy with Liam? It felt as if the world was tearing us apart, it’s annoying!

I abruptly got up from my bed and snapped my head at where Leander was peacefully sleeping on his bed, unaware of how hard I was glaring. I threw the blankets off me, asking myself why I’m even using one when it’s already thirty-three degrees Celsius inside.

Putting my slippers on, I left my dorm room. I needed something to eat. I saw a vending machine just a few doors away from where I was staying. The corridor was quite dark, only a few lightbulbs were turned on as it’s already past curfew.

I closed the door as quietly as I could and walked to the vending machine. I could hear loud voices from inside the other dorm rooms. The other students were still awake doing God knows what.

Arriving at the vending machine, I chose what snack and drink to have. It’d be hard to eat in the dark, Leander was already sleeping like a baby. I should just eat it here and—

“Oh, if it isn’t the new student.”

I gasped out loud as soon as I heard someone talk beside me. It was Stephen, the guy I kept calling Tisoy. “Jesus Christ, you scared me!” I complained.

He was wearing an over-sized graphic shirt that couldn’t hide the muscles he had along with a North Vale jogging pants. “What are you doing?” he asked.

I was irked by that laid-back smile of his. This guy probably doesn’t face that much problem in his life. He looked…fresh all the time. “Eating, isn’t it obvious?” I asked.

Stephen laughed. “At this time of night?”

“I’m stressed. Stressed eating, that’s normal,” I retorted.

He stood in front of the vending machine, browsing the food behind the glass. “Can I ask you something?”

I pressed the button of a random cheese-flavored chip and waited for the machine to release it. “What is it?”

“You like Liam, don’t you?”

“Wha—no, what are you, are you dumb?!” I was obviously flustered by his question and it was so painstakingly obvious that I do like Liam Torres-Shao. “I’m not gay!”

Stephen laughed, again. “Oh, come on. It’s not like boys f*cking boys are frowned upon in this school, Isaiah. Orgies are like therapy here, everyone’s a sexually deprived teenager. Like the gang leaders who rule the senior high department. They’re going to f*ck anyone they like, anywhere they want.”

I grimaced. I recalled Keanne’s face and it disgusted me. Motherf*ckers like him were the worst, I wished I could just punch him in the face and ruin every bone he had there.

“I don’t like Liam. I’m just…interested.” I’m so lying but who cares. Stephen didn’t have to know what kind of relationship I had with Liam. It wasn’t his business.

But still, it’s unfair that I had to hide my feelings for him.

Stephen stared at me. “Do you know you’re bad at lying?” he asked so nonchalantly, it aggravated me.

“And? Why do you even care?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Because I’m one of the many people who have their eyes on Liam.”

I glared at him. “Because of Tyler?”

He smirked. “Yeah, because of Tyler.”

“Are you threatening me to back off?”

He giggled. “Nothing that dramatic. Tyler is very protective of his little brother. He usually scares everyone who tries to get close to him, like an obsessive parent or something like that. He has dozens of spies surrounding the kid, always monitoring his every move wherever he goes.”

“And that goes for Paolo too, right?” I asked.

Stephen nodded. “Everyone in his gang.” That would be suffocating. No wonder Liam was hesitating. “Whatever your relationship with Liam is, just keep it a secret.”

I furrowed my brows at him, confused as to why he’s giving me a heads up. “What are you playing at, Tisoy?” I asked, doubting his random act of kindness.

He feigned to be hurt by what I said. “I’m just saying that you should be careful. Liam is the heir of the Torres-Shao. I have no choice but to follow Tyler’s order since you know, my family works for them. Liam seriously needs someone to…change his life.”

As much as I appreciate his concern for Liam, this conversation just came out of nowhere. “Like I said, why are you doing this?” I asked.

For the first time, Stephen gave me a wistful smile. “I watched the kid grow up. He’s like a little brother to me too. I always fear that he’s going to disappear…and I don’t want that.”

“Disappear?”

He was quiet before looking at me with a big, fake smile. “You’ll know soon enough. For now, take care of him, secretly. Don’t let Tyler or his men know that you’re involved with each other. I have a feeling he’s really going to lose it if something were to ever happen to you.”

Stephen pressed the button to a bottle of coke and paid it before handing it to me. “My treat,” he said, winking at me. “See you.”

He left me there in the corridor, alone and pondering what the hell was that. How did he find me here and how did he know about me and Liam? Shit, he was there in the clinic when I was so adamant about making Tyler pay for what he did to his brother. Was it the first time Stephen saw someone defend Liam that badly?

Maybe.

--

Morning classes finished quickly. Leander and I were walking to the cafeteria to eat lunch, but I wasn’t in the mood to do anything. The Isaiah that Leander saw yesterday doesn’t exist anymore. I was a ball of sunshine when I returned to the dorm but now, I’m acting as if my dog died, as well as the cat that I didn’t have.

“Did you see Rios and dela Cruz making out in the back while Mr. Sanchez was lecturing about History, they’re—” He stopped when he saw I wasn’t paying attention. “Hey, are you alright?”

“I…yeah, I’m just hungry,” I said with a sigh. I really wanted to talk to Liam, but I remembered I told him that I’d wait for him to share whatever details he wanted to share with me about his infamous family. I didn’t want to pressure him but at the same time, I demanded answers.

Maria’s words dawned on me again. We really do live in a different world. It’s frustrating.

“I know you snuck out of the room last night. Did someone catch you?” he asked.

I looked at him. “You weren’t sleeping?”

Leander scoffed. “It’s hard to sleep when you’re secretly munching chips in the dark.”

“Ah, right.” That made sense.

“So, what happened?”

“Nothing, I just—” Could I even tell him about Liam and Tyler, and everyone involved in our relationship? Why couldn’t it be just us?

We were about to enter the cafeteria when five guys appeared in front of us, blocking the door. I looked at them, three had masks on their faces while the two who were directly in front of me glared at me.

Leander was quick to back away, gasping as he saw these goon-like idiots emerge like mushrooms. “What?” I asked, raising a brow at them.

“Isaiah Montenegro?” the guy who was slightly taller than I am asked, his voice low.

“Yeah, what?” I wasn’t fazed. This wouldn’t be the first time someone did this to me—suddenly blocking my way while they surround me like a pack of wolves about to tear me apart.

Ah, that didn’t end well for those idiots.

“Come with us. We need to talk.”

Leander grabbed my shoulder. His voice was trembling as he said, “let’s go, Isaiah, this is—”

One of them approached Leander, warning him quietly with that intimidating glare that would only work for people who don’t know how to fight back.

“And what if I said no?” I asked, smirking at him. I pushed Leander behind me, facing these idiots head-on.

“We’ll kill you.”

Kill, huh? That’s a word that I’d been hearing for quite some time since I entered this school, and it was really getting on my nerves.

“Alright,” I said, “let me see you try.”

--

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