The American

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I am waiting in the lobby when Khloe finally arrives.

"I know I am late to pick you up, but I don't think this face belongs to me," Khloe says, noticing the frown on my face.

"It belongs to Ethan's stepbrother Austin. You won't believe what that human being said to me."

"One look at your face says you did not like what he said," Khloe says chuckling.

"You can only imagine," I say walking out of the hotel.

"You can tell me all about it over lunch," Khloe says while we wait for her car.

"With pleasure," I say getting into Khloe's car to be on our way to one of our favourite restaurant in town.

We arrive at the restaurant and take our seats at the first empty table we come across. I tell Khloe what happened with Austin. She is also furious that he said such things to me. While we are eating, Khloe speaks up.

"You won't believe what Marcus did. He asked me to forgive him and take him back."

"He said what!!!" I say almost choking on my food.

"You heard me right; he wants us to get back together."

"Is he alright, after what he did to you." I genuinely dislike him for what he did to Khloe and Ethan.

"I know right, but I won't lie to you Adina, I was actually having second thoughts about taking him back."

"You almost did what," I say raising my voice, totally shocked she had the slightest thought of taking him back. These cause a few people close by to stare at us.

"Lower your voice down, and yes I was actually considering it. I love him, but as you said, there is a big difference between a toxic relationship and a healthy relationship. So I sat down and really thought about which one I had. Even a baby could tell mine was toxic. I decided he was not good for me. I won't be getting back together with him ever again."

"Alhamdulillah, you have come to realise that. You deserve a healthy, happy relationship that I am sure you will find one day" I say with a little smile. I am so happy she is finally making the right decisions for herself.

"I hope so too."

Graduation is around the corner, and that means a lot of projects to be done. Ethan and I are at my house, working on our projects. I pray Asr and walk back to the living room to continue.

"Ethan, are you hungry?"

"Yes, I am."

"Alright, I will fix something for you to eat," I say and walk towards the kitchen.

I make a little sandwich for both of us and walk back to the living room.

"Here you go, and are you done?" I say taking my seat with my food in my hand

"Yes, I am done, and we can watch the movie now" Ethan takes his plate from my hand.

"Great because I have been dying to watch this movie again for some odd reason."

"What movie is that?"

"Twilight," I say with a big smile hoping he does not ask me to change the movie.

"Are you serious with me right now?" Ethan says looking at me with disbelief

"I am, I have been dying to watch twilight the whole week. Please let's watch it."

"Wow, I really thought you had a different movie in mind, but no problem. Anything that makes you happy is fine with me."

"Thank you," I say smiling while I press play for the movie to start.

Ethan places a pillow on my lap and puts his head on it. I am trying to watch the movie, but that's difficult because I can feel Ethan's eyes on me. He has been staring at me for the past few minutes, and I wonder why.

"Ethan, why are you staring at me so much."

"That's because you are truly a rare beauty Mi amore. The finest I have ever seen" Ethan says looking deep into my soul with those grey orbs of his. I can see a lot of affection for me in his eyes.

"Thank you," I say, blushing.

"I have seen a lot of women in this world, but none's beauty compares to yours Mia Regina (My Queen)" Ethan says, sitting up.

"Ethan!" I am totally out of words to reply to those touching words he just said to me.

"Yes, babe," Ethan says, whispering huskily into my ears, causing a shiver to go down my spine. I can feel his breath fanning my neck. This causes my heartbeat to increase by ten folds because of how close he is.

"I really like you; I really do a lot," I say, pouring out my feelings to him.

"As I do Mi amore so please forgive me for what I am about to do. I can't hold it in anymore."

"What are............." I don't get to finish my sentence because Ethan lands those gorgeous red lips of his on mine. There is nothing more I want to do than to kiss him back. So I do it, I kiss him back with all the passion, and desire I have for him. I pour all my feelings into this one kiss. Ethan lifts me and places me on top of him. I feel pleasure like never before from this little kiss, something I have never experienced before.

"Ethan," I say moaning when he deepens the kiss. What did I just do? Did I just moan because of Ethan? That was totally not intentional, but it felt terrific coming for me. I feel Ethan leave my mouth and begin placing hot kisses all over my neck and cleavage that I didn't know was open. All of my body feels on fire right now. God, it feels incredible. God, God, God, oh my God, what am I doing? I am not supposed to be doing this. This is very wrong, how could I allow myself give into my desires like this. I have to stop this.

"Ethan, we need...." I try saying, but Ethan puts his lips back on mine, causing my mouth shut. I try to lift myself off his laps, but his hold around my waist is tight. What have I gotten myself into? This is not supposed to be happening. I can't believe I allow this to happen. I don't even know when I start crying until I hear his voice speak.

"Why are you crying Adina," Ethan says, looking at me with great confusion.

"This was not supposed to happen. We are not supposed to do this" I say trying to wipe away my tears.

"I know we agreed not to have intimacy, but I could not hold it anymore. I am so sorry; I did not know it meant that much to you" Ethan says with sadness.

"It's fine, but right now, I think you should leave. I need some time alone to myself."

"Anything for you, my dear," Ethan says, gently lifting me off his lap and places me back on the couch.

I look at myself and realise the buttons of my shirt are undone. I quickly use my hand to cover myself up with the little dignity I have left. I hug my body tight in regret for what I just did.

"If you need me, I am just a call away," Ethan says before taking his leave. Once he shuts the door, a profound realisation drowns on me. I begin to cry in regrets for disobeying Allah, and the sorrow of having to leave the one I care about the most. Amina was right; I was genuinely walking on a thin line.

A few days have passed, and the pain in my heart has only reduced a little. I think that day was the day I cried the most in my life. I cried so much that my head and eyes felt like they were going to come off. I have been praying really hard for Allah to forgive me for my sinful act that day. I never knew I could lose into my desire the way I did that day. I actually thought I had self-control over them, but I was wrong.

I am on my way to Ethan's house after avoiding him the whole week at school, which to my utmost surprise he did not complain about. It was like he knew how I felt and understood what I was going through. This boy is going to be the death of me because I have never had someone who understands me the way he does. It hurts me more for what I am about to do to us.

I reach his apartment, but I don't get out of the car immediately. My heart is having a severe struggle with what I am about to do. I can't believe I am here to do this. I know I need to do this, and I wish I wouldn't have to do this. The pain I feel in my heart is only a little compare to what I am going to feel when I am done with what I came here to do.

With my heart low, I step out of my car and take the elevator to Ethan's floor. I walk to his door in the slowest steps I have ever made in my life. I knock on the door and hear him say come in, but his voice sounds different. I turn the knob and walk inside to find Ethan in a state I have never seen him in before. His eyes are bloodshot red with his hair in all places. There is a bottle of alcohol in his hand, and I am wondering why so early in the day.

"Ethan, what is going on, what happened. Why are you like this?" I say with confusion.

"Sit down," Ethan says in a harsh tone and a lot of anger in his voice. Ethan has not used this tone towards me for a while now.

"Why are you talking to me like this? Did I do something wrong" I get more confused by the second with his attitude towards me today.

"I SAID SIT YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN," Ethan says, shouting, causing my bones to shake in fear of his rage. Ya Allah what have I done to deserve this behaviour from Ethan.

"It's alright; I will sit down" I take a seat in front of him.

"Open the envelop and please, please tell me what I am seeing is a lie" Ethan takes a big sip of his drink. It smells so bad that I feel I might throw up any moment now.

I open the envelop and what I see inside are pictures, but not just any photos. Pictures of me in bed with Austin, what is going on? These pictures are fake; I never slept with Austin, who would do something like this.

"Ethan, please don't believe what you see in these pictures, I would never sleep with Austin" I defend myself from these accusations made against me.

"If that's the case, I am going to ask you two questions, and they are going to tell me if these pictures are real or not."

"Okay, I am ready to answer any questions to prove my innocence."

"Did you go to that hotel? And secondly, did you meet Austin on that day" Ethan says, tapping his feet vigorously on the ground showing how impatience he is right now.

"Ethan, I went to the hotel, and I met your brother, but I swear to you, I did not........" Ethan cuts me off when he smashes the bottle in his hand on the ground. A loud shattering sound is made as the glass breaks into a million pieces, the same way my heart is breaking.


"Ethan, I swear to you, I did not sleep with him. Yes, I met him that day, but we did not sleep together. Please believe me" I say feeling tears stream down my eyes in waves. I am so confused right now. I don't even know how to make Ethan believe me because who would. I practically admitted to everything in the pictures except the fact that I slept with Austin.

"Adina leave my house, I don't want to see you ever again in my life," Ethan says with tears filled in his eyes. I feel my heart shot with a thousand bullets when the words sink into my brain. My heart aches in pain from the shots it received. Is this how it feels to lose the one you care about? I feel like my whole world is gone with the words Ethan just said.

"Ethan please let me explain t......." I am cut short when Ethan begins to break things in front of me in anger.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP," Ethan says, throwing anything he sees in front of him in a rage" "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD FROM YOU, SO LEAVE."

"Ethan, please listen to me," I say, and Ethan does not say anything for a good seconds before he does the unthinkable. He grabs my arms and starts dragging me out of his house. He throws me out the door before I can even comprehend what is happening. I feel my heart in pain like I have never felt before. I can't even bring myself to move from Ethan's door with the agonising pain in my heart. My heart is twisting and turning in the most painful way ever in my life. I sit there and cry out my pain and sorrow for what just happened. I just lost the one I care about most in the world.

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