Rollercoaster of Emotions
I was so aggravated at Willow after I dropped her off I went straight to my parents. I needed to clear my head, I needed to talk to my dad. This only added to my belief that I didn't want to be in any kind of serious relationship. Willow was crazy.
Sighing I wondered if I was perhaps driving her over the edge. I didn't really think too much of girls walking up on me or the ones who would occasionally call. It was just part of life. It meant nothing.
Pulling into the drive I was glad to see dad was in his shop. Opening the door to my truck I looked down letting out a deep breath when I saw Willow's name pop up on my phone. "What," I said a little aggravated.
She paused before mumbling, "forget it."
I sighed, I didn't know what this girl wanted from me. She confused me, she still didn't trust me fully enough to tell me her situations but she had expectations of me. I did however know what she needed in this second. "I'm not calling any girls if that's what you called for. I've had enough women problems with you to last me a while."
With that I hung up on her, I had nothing else to say and after the way she acted, I didn't know how I felt about her. She confused me. She was making me run to my dad like a little boy needing answers.
I paused in the door of the shop seeing mom sitting up on the workbench with dad standing between her legs kissing her. Here I had just gotten into it with a girl and needed love advice and my dad was making out with my mom. "Ya'll come on now."
Dad looked up at me before looking back down at my mom smirking at her. "Your son seems to think it's inappropriate for me to be making out with you in my garage."
Mom shook her head leaning her head against dad's chest. He pulled her down kissing her forehead, "go start dinner, let me talk to Maddox."
Mom lifted her head up kissing dad before turning to face me, "always interrupting shit."
I cut my head at her as she walked past me laughing. "Ha ha, ya'll out here acting like some damn kids."
Dad arched his neck looking over at me, "how do you think you got here?"
I rolled my eyes, "I can't stand ya'll."
He laughed going to fridge in the corner and pulling us both out a beer. "So I assume you came to talk?"
I nodded taking the beer he handed over. Twisting the top off I took a long drink before looking over at him. "Willow is driving me fucking crazy. She flips for no damn reason."
Dad had his beer to his lips but quickly pulled it down laughing. "She has you bad doesn't she?"
I frowned, "what? No. Has me pissed off maybe."
Dad snorted taking a drink of his beer, "so talk, tell me what's on your mind."
I moved to sit down on a box in the corner, "she's crazy."
He laughed, "is she crazy or are you driving her crazy?"
Ironic how he thought the exact that thing I did . "It's not even me," I said. "She gets mad about stuff I have no control over."
"And that would be other girls?"
I looked up at dad nodding but not saying anything. He shook his head before taking a drink. "I'm going to tell you something Maddox. When you find a girl that makes you happy, girls from your past will fall out the woodwork to try and mess things up. Especially if you've had a past."
"That happen with you and mom?"
"Your mom and I met in a different time in my life. My ex-wife just tried to cause trouble period, everyone else I tried my best to keep out of your moms site. I was a horrible husband to Desiree. She wasn't much of a wife either. We both cheated on each other, both did stupid shit." Dad took another sip of his beer, "I should have never married her."
"There's a lot of stuff you shouldn't have done in your past," I said.
"Is this conversation about you or about me?" Dad said looking over at me, "I can admit my wrong doings. Can you?"
I stood up, "I didn't do shit wrong. She won't open up to me. She acts like I'm some kind of..." I couldn't' finish the sentence because I was who she thought I was.
"You're not a bad kid Maddox." Dad said shaking his head, "you've just been living your life with you and only you in mind. If you like this girl and want a relationship with her then you will have to make a few changes."
"I don't do relationships."
Dad laughed, "then why did you pull up at my door upset?" I opened my mouth to deny it but dad stopped me. "You are upset. I can see it on your face."
"What if I do like her? Things aren't going to work out, they never do." I took a sip of my beer hating that I sounded like a whiny ass little kid.
"Maddox you've never given any girl a chance to get close to you. You are a love' em and leave 'em kinda guy. The girls that do try and get close to you, you cut them off completely." Dad let out a breath, "ya'll both have a lot to figure out about the other. You don't have to just spill your whole life story to the girl."
I finished off my beer, “she’s just another girl. I don’t know why she aggravated me so much.”
Dad snorted, “just another girl huh. Funny thing is Maddox you can make all the plans in the world to leave them or just stop loving them but it never works. Fate has other plans.”
I threw my bottle at the trash, “love, who said anything about loving her.”
Dad stood up, “we aren’t easy people to love Maddox. I thought I didn’t deserve it either but that woman who just walked out of this shop opened up my eyes. I thank God every day for bringing her into my life when he did. I was spiraling down a dark decent.”
Nodding I walked over to my dad, “what should I do?”
Dad shrugged, “be you and annoy the shit out of her. She seems to like it. Y’all are both hot headed. Set down some guide lines and let her know what to expect if she wants to be with you.”
I walked to the fridge grabbing us another beer. Dad's words held true for me though. If I wanted any kind of relationship with Willow we needed to get things out on the table. I had a past, if she couldn't accept that there was no sense in her ever pretending.
It would be easier said than done but I would give her a few days. She needed to calm down and think. I needed to calm down and think. What did I want? What was important to me?
I ended up staying in the garage with dad helping him tinker on some old car for a while. Something about him eased my spirt. We didn't talk much more about Willow after that. We just talked cars and my upcoming race. I had signed up for a pretty big one a couple of weeks away.
Mom let us do our own thing for a couple of hours before she called dad to start the grill. I had tried to leave but she gave me a pouty face and I could only shake my head. She seemed to have all the men in this family wrapped around her little finger.
Sitting outside on the porch swing I watched mom and dad play around and even though I told them they were stupid I was kinda envious of the love they shared. You wouldn't think they had been together as long as they had. Watching them you couldn't fault their love, they would have been miserable without the other.
I looked up at the stars in the sky. You had to give me a fucked up family didn't you. One that is perfect and a trainwreck at the same time. Harper popped up right before dad was done and I sat talking to her on the swing. She was quiet tonight so I knew she was upset and it made me realize that my problems were just a drop in the bucket of everything around me.
Maybe I needed to figure my life out. Dad had thought he didn't deserve happiness yet here he stood in front of me trying to hit my mom with the spatula as she swatted him with a towel. I laughed looking down at Harper, "our parents are stupid as fuck."
She looked up shrugging, "I love them though, wouldn't have them any other way."