I sat down on the bed in one of the nine bedrooms of my brother's house and let out a pained sigh. I lowered my head and when the gold band shifted, I tore it off and threw it across the room. It clanged against the wall and came to rest in the corner of the room. I glared at it, This is all your fault. I will never have anyone again because of what you make me.
A soft knock came from the door followed by my guard's voice, “My king, are you alright?”
“I’m fine!” I yelled at him and clenched my jaw.
I should return to the palace. Return to my life. After all, that is all I will ever be. Just a king, in everyone’s eyes.
She deserves more from a man. Someone who will be able to do simple things, like going for a damn walk in the market without making a scene.
I stood up and began to pace the room. The walls fogged out and private, and my mind swimming in the same kind of fog.
I wanted it to be her. I wanted her to choose me. To love me like I want to love her. To spend each day with her, learning from her, and helping her heal. To be the one that lifts her up and gives her everything she could ever want.
I stopped my pacing and lowered my head. My heart felt like it was tearing in half. I swallowed down the lump and pulled in a few deep breaths to calm down.
She has captured me, completely. My heart, my mind, my body.
I heard the soft chime in my ear and pressed the ball, “Yes?”
“Zas,” my brother's voice said, “We are going for a walk, would you like to join us?”
“No, brother. Forgive me, but not now.”
“Very well. See you later.” He said and ended the call.
I will wait until they return and go back to the palace. I don’t want to spoil Ash’s trip here.
I spun on my heels and made my way to the bathroom. A bath should clear my head. It always did in the past.
I let the water run as I sat on the edge of the bath.
Perhaps each of us only gets one chance at love. Perhaps that is all the universe is willing to give me.
I got into the bath and floated on the surface, but my mind didn’t clear. If anything it felt more scattered and lost.
After a few minutes, I let out a sigh and climbed out. I let the water drip all over the floor, leaving big puddles on the stone as I went to the window that looked out at the thick trees outside.