Blooming of The Forgiving Rose
After she was hit by the car, Ithil got up to her feet and continued running to find her lover. But something felt stranger. It was like she’d been running for hours nonstop. She was also running in a really dark and long tunnel. No matter how hard she tried to illuminate her way, something seemed to make this light diminish. However, after she thought that she would never find Yandera she saw her running not far from her. She started to run after her, running as fast as she could. But no matter how hard she ran she couldn't catch up with her. No matter how loud she called, the sorceress wouldn't even look towards her.
Eventually they got to the end of the endless tunnel. It was so bright that Ithil had to cover her eyes to give it the time to adjust to the new level of light. When she opened her eyes once more everything was just blank white. She looked down to see there was no solid ground; it looked as if she was standing on thin air. She looked in front of her to find Yandera sitting in a corner, severely crying. She ran to her and gave her a delicate touch on her shoulder. Yandera slowly turned to her with a heartbreaking mixture of fear and sorrow in her eyes.
“Yandera.” Ithil said softly.
“P-p-please stop.” Yandera said between sobs, jerking away from her lover like one fleeing death. “I-I’ll do anything b-but please don’t hurt me.”
“Yandera what are you talking about? It’s me, your beloved Ithil.”
Yandera slowly got up to her feet. And pointed towards a mirror standing not far from them and said. “You were, once.”
Ithil turned slowly to face the mirror. She slowly walked towards it and stood in front of it. Her eyes were dark, her hair was black. She was different, familiar. She stood there in shock, slowly moving her hand to feel her face. She wanted to make sure that it wasn't a joke, but it wasn't. This was how she looked when the spell was cast on her. That doomed spell that robbed her mind and made her a weapon to be used in the face of the ones she loved, she was….
“MORI OLOS.” Ithil shriked as her upper body became violently up righted.
She blinked a couple of times. She wasn't in that place anymore. She was in a white room. She heard some beeps by her side. The source was that of a heart monitor. At least she knew she was in a hospital. The princess was still dazzled from the situation. She felt a soft touch on her right shoulder. She turned to see a dwarf with another blue eyed elf by her side. She felt another touch on her left shoulder. But this touch was more familiar. She turned to see the smile of a black haired human.
“How are you Ithil?” Yandera said with the softest tone she could manage.
“Y-yandera, what happened?” Ithil said. She was still in a state of mild shock. Also she felt a strong headache. She raised her hand to nurse the position of the pain.
“Calm down darling.” Yandera said, trying to make her lie again on the bed. “You need to rest.”
“But I don’t understand anything. What happened to me?”
“You were knocked unconscious after being hit with a speeding car when you came out of the bar.” Leuthil explained. “And the doctor said that it gave you a concussion. It seemed that you were under the strong effect of alcohol and that sent you in a coma for the past three days.”
Ithil lied there in silence for a few moments; trying to soak up the information she was just given. Then she looked at Yandera. She couldn’t look at her face without tears forming on the corner of her eyes. She felt so ashamed and frustrated. She wanted to say something to her, but every time she thought of something to say she found that it wasn’t enough to express the sorrow, the pain and the shame she felt.
Yandera noticed the tears forming in the corners of Ithil’s eyes. “Luna, are you okay?”
That’s when Ithil couldn’t suppress it any longer. She wanted to talk but her crying was keeping her from it. This made Yandera become even more worried. She tried to say something, to try to sooth her lover. But Ithil started to speak.
“I-I’m really, really sorry Yandera. Please, I didn’t know what happened to me. I’ve been horrible to you. But please for-“
She was stopped by Yandera hugging her tightly and ever so softly brushing her hair. She was tearing a little but succeeded to hide her tears from Ithil and maintained the calm tone of her voice. “Calm down, it’s okay. We’ll talk about it later. Now you need to have some rest. I promise we’ll talk about it later.”
Ithil calmed down and tightened her embrace around Yandera, who responded by burying her face in Ithil’s chest. They both loved each other, there no doubt about that. But at that night a new fear grew in one of them, and an old fear returned to the other. However, as much unforgettable as it was, it must be put aside, at least for now.
They kept for a long time like this, neither of them is willing to let go. They felt like the whole world faded and the only existence was them and their bodies. It was a perfect moment, too perfect to be real, too fragile to be sustained. So, they were rudely interrupted by the entrance of the doctor.
“Ehm, sorry for my interruption your highness.” The doctor said in a very business-like manner.
The two girls broke their embrace and looked around to see almost every nurse in the hospital looking at them and whispering to each other. Needless to say Yandera and Ithil’s faces became so red that you could mistake it they were sick with a fever. Yandera quickly stepped away from Ithil and stood by the bed.
“Not at all doctor.” Ithil said, trying to maintain her posture. “We were just, ehm, discussing some important issues. That’s alright for now Yandera, we’ll continue later.”
“Huh?” Yandera said, apparently taking a while to catch up with Ithil’s lie. “Oh, of course your highness, allow me to take my leave. I’ll come back later to see how your highness is doing and finish our discussion.”
“That would be wonderful. I shall wait for your return.”
Yandera said nothing more. She gave a graceful bow and left the room with a brisk pace, ready to run away from embarrassment at any moment.
“Well, I think we should go with Yandera your highness.” Leuthil said, trying her best not to burst out with laughter.
“Of course, I shall hold you no longer.”
The two women gave the princess a graceful bow and left to catch up with Yandera. They saw her at the door of the hospital. When the three women saw met, they burst out with laughter.
“Well, that was a flawless evade.” Leuthil said, half laughing.
“It sure was honey bee.” Caryave said.
“Yeah, right. Well, I don’t know about you too. But I’m starving.” Yandera said.
“We certainly are. After all we missed lunch.” Leuthil said. “Same place as yesterday?”
“We don’t know any other.” Caryave said.
“Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go.” Yandera said in the same brisk pace.
After the girls finished their meal, they headed up straight to the hospital. They had shared small talks all the time in an attempt to try to make Yandera forget her worries. But as thoughtful as she was for their attempts most of the time, she was thinking about how to deal with that situation. She was beaten by her lover. She knew that her lover wasn’t her normal self at the time, but what if this happened again? Ithil’s apology was sincere, and full of regret and sorrow. That much was more than true true. But will she feel safe again with Ithil after that?
She was debating with herself, like she was the very first day this relationship started. The same debate of the heart and mind. Her mind asking questions to guarantee the safety of both herself and this relationship. And her heart was trying its best to provide the answer to these questions. However, none of the answers were sufficient or logical enough to satisfy her mind. She then was certain that only Ithil should be the one to answer these questions, to quench her fears once and for all. She still loved her, that’s so true. But after what happened, it’s really hard to find the forgiving rose in her once pink garden in her heart.
When they reached the hospital, Ithil was fast asleep. They asked the doctor about her condition and he said that the princess was stable enough to leave the hospital tomorrow morning. She only needed some rest and she’s already getting the rest she needed, so there’s no fear of any dangers whatsoever. So all they did is waiting for her to get up and they’ll be on their way back to Thilal Asari. And there Yandera will fulfill all her suspicions, and she decided to go directly for it.
The next morning they all got up early. A royal carriage was waiting for them outside the hospital. After filling some papers they left the hospital and started their journey back to Thilal Asari. The trip was very quiet from the beginning to the end. The only noise to be heard was that of the road and the engine of the limo. Everyone was either lost in thought or afraid to break the silence, knowing too well the awkwardness of the situation. Yandera was planning how to talk to ithil on this topic. Ithil was searching of any way to make up for the grave, unforgivable mistake that she did to Yandera. The other two girls knew better than interfere in any way, so they staying in silence soaking up the sun and enjoying the view.
Thilal Asari, after a long trip, finally was in view. leuthil and Caryave were dropped off at the farm. Then came Yandera’s house, the car stopped and the door opened. At the door, each woman stood in front of the other with thousand words to say. But neither of them had enough courage to speak. Two hearts were filled, one with shame, the other with doubt and fear. After about ten minutes of this motionless standing, Ithil turned to the car to leave, cursing herself a million times for her weakness and cowardness.
“Ithil, please wait.” Yandera finally said, mastering all the courage and determination of resolve in her to keep her girlfriend from leaving this unresolved. “I really need to talk to you now. Can you please come inside for a while?”
Ithil simply nodded and stepped inside the library without a single word. They both sat in front of each other, waiting to see what the next moments would hold for them. As much as Ithil was eager to speak, she couldn’t find the right words to describe the regret that she felt. So she thought she would let Yandera go first.
“So, how are you felling now?” Yandera said as soft as possible.
“I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”
“Good, that’s good.”
“So, what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Well, I- I want to know what happened that night.”
“I can’t really tell myself. All I felt at that moment was pure anger and the need to kill someone or destroy something. Then everything just went blank. My mind, my body, my emotions. I just lost control
“So, you say that you lost control of your body and mind? Completely?”
“Y- Yes, that’s the nearest thing I can describe it with. Even though I’m not sure that I really did.”
Ithil tried to keep a tough font, but she couldn’t take it anymore. The guilt was so immense her chest was aching. Then she just went in a bout of crying. “I- I know that what I did was horrible. And that you think that I’m the worst woman in the world. But please Yandera, forgive me. You know that I wasn’t myself. I couldn’t have hurt you, you know that.”
That’s when Yandera broke out as well. She had a flood of emotions in her heart. She loved Ithil. She was angry at her for what she did. She feared her, yet she felt empathy towards her. She couldn’t control it anymore and let it all out.
“But how can I? Even if I did forgive you, how can I feel safe around you anymore?”
Ithil stood there, not known what to say or do. Her mind and body where frozen safe for the tears coming down her eyes. Yandera was right; how could she feel safe again after what happened? She felt somewhat frustrated. But she knew that she was right. She didn’t even know how to feel safe with herself.
Yandera realized what she said. She didn’t know how she could’ve said something like that to the only person she loved. She stretched her hand to touch Ithil’s face to sooth her and try to apolgize. “I-Ithil, I’m sorry. I’ve got carried away and didn’t know what I was saying.”
When Yandera’s hoof touched Ithil’s face Ithil flinched then moved her face away. “No, Yander you’re right. I’ve had the most precious treasure in my hands and I pushed it away with my damned foolishness. You deserve better than me Yandera.”
“But I want you Ithil I still love you.”
“But what will guarantee that I won’t turn like that again? That in a bout of anger I won’t just lose it and hurt you again. I’ll go away to save you from myself.”
“Ithil, please don’t do this. Don’t kill me like this and leave me slowly dying.”
“Of course, when you take my soul from me you’ll kill me. And you’re my soul Ithil.”
“Your soul almost killed you.”
“No, it wasn’t my soul. It was a wicked spirit. I sensed it, it was faint, but I sensed it.”
“Y-You don’t mean?”
“We can’t be sure. But there might be some remains from the spell that can come to the surface in the weak states of mind.”
“B-but I’ll still be a danger, to you more than anyone else.”
That’s when Yandera threw herself on Ithil and caught her in a deep kiss. Ithil was caught completely off guard but when she realized what was going on it was too late and Twilight had already broken the kiss. Ynadera then looked deeply into Ithil’s eyes, trying to strengthen her, to show her how much she loves her and she needs to be by her side. “And we’ll deal with this danger together.”
then had another passionate kiss, and after they parted their lips they kept
their bodies close in a very soft embrace. They may have fears, they may have
problems, but that what gives life its joyful meaning, and they both learned a
valuable lesson. That is whenever blooms the roses of love, it must be alongside
the roses of forgiveness.