I saw Weston briefly in the morning meeting that we have every Monday. He looked so happy talking to his assistant, and I just couldn’t ruin that for him. I told Carter that I needed to process some photographs, so I couldn’t stay for the meeting. He said it was fine, I wasn’t going to be missing anything.
I was in the dark room processing photos, only one person was allowed to be in here at a time because we didn’t want to accidentally expose the film with light. The way we knew someone was in here was the sign in front of the door would get switched to occupied, so I knew no one was going to interrupt me.
I knew Weston had to leave the office sometime in the next hour for a shoot, so that’s just how long I needed to stay here.
My concentration was broken when someone knocked on the door after me being in there for half an hour. I covered the photographs with a black tablet so they wouldn’t get exposed as they developed. I knew whoever knocked wouldn’t have knocked if it wasn’t important.
I opened the door and right in front of me was Weston. I put on a fake smile and let him walk in before closing the door after him.
“Carter said I could find you here.” Weston says to me as he walks to the end of the room. I walk back to the photo I was developing.
“Here I am.” I say quietly.
He watches me as I delicately hang the photo. I feel like I’m being scrutinized, like he knows I slept with Oliver. I just can’t help but think what a terrible person I am. Who does that? Me. I did that.
“Is something wrong?” He asks me and it takes everything inside of me not to react and not to cry.
“Yeah, I didn’t really sleep last night, so I’m tired.” I can’t look at him, but I know he’s staring at me with his beautiful blue eyes.
“Can I ask you a question on a sensitive subject?” I hesitate. He knew. He somehow knew what I had done.
I’m going to be sick.
“Okay.” I forced myself to look at him.
“Have you ever gone to therapy?” I felt some relief for half a second before my anxiety shot back up. This was the second person to talk to me about needing to go to therapy.
“When I was ten until I was twelve. I was dealing with PTSD and my grandma put me in it to help me transition.” I didn’t like talking about that time in my life. My mind blocked out so much from the trauma I endured, even my therapist was worried that it would one day come back, but for two years it didn’t, so I was cleared to move on from therapy.
“Look, I can see how hard it is for you to talk about it, so you don’t have to talk about it with me. But I do think that you should talk to someone.” Weston thought I needed therapy. I must be exuding crazy vibes.
I stay quiet.
“Hanna, I know you’re working on yourself, but you can’t work on yourself if something is holding you back.” I hang my last photo.
“I have to go.” I say to him before quickly exiting the room. I head in the direction of my office, but then change my mind to go to Riley’s office.
She’s sitting at her desk when I walk in. I close her door behind me and I drop the blinds so no one can see inside. She looks really concerned.
“What’s wrong?” She asks as she stands up and meets me in the middle of her office. She grabs my shoulders and everything goes black.
“I’m fine.” I say as I try to stand back up from the floor, people are trying to hold me down.
Rachel hands me a breakfast bar and I take it. In front of me is Riley, Weston, and Rachel.
“You fainted, Hanna! You are not fine.” Riley was very upset at me that I was trying to play this off. I didn’t come to her office to faint, didn’t even realize I had to until I started losing my vision.
“I just didn’t eat breakfast, my blood sugar was probably really low.” I am sitting up on the floor. I don’t feel dizzy or numb. I was fine.
“Do you want to go to urgent care or maybe the emergency room?” Weston asks me.
“You were out for a couple minutes.” Rachel says to me.
To me it just felt like I passed out and then immediately woke up. The only reason I knew time had passed was because Weston and Rachel were in here.
“Can I please get up?” I ask them.
Weston helps me up, keeping a hold on me just in case I decide to faint again. I now felt weird around him for two different reasons.
“You scared me!” Riley says, she has her arms crossed.
“I didn’t mean to faint.” I sit down on one of the chairs. I felt a little sweaty, clammy. I take a bite of the breakfast bar.
Rachel steps out. Then there were three. I could hardly look at Weston, but I needed him to leave. “I’m fine, Weston. Go to your shoot, you can’t miss it.” I was still his boss. He needed to listen to me.
I glanced up to see him look at Riley and then he walked out of her office, too. He was upset. I’ve upset him.
“What the hell happened?” Riley asks me as she sits in the chair next to me. “You looked so panicked when you came into my office. Did something happen between you and Weston?”
“Nothing happened between us. Something happened between Oliver and I.” Her eyes widened.
“Oliver and I had sex.” It didn’t feel great to say that out loud. I was conflicted. “Weston doesn’t know.”
“Are you and Oliver together now?”
“He wants to take it slow.” I felt even more drained now than what I felt earlier. I wanted to crawl into bed.
“What do you want?”
That was the hard question right now. “I don’t know. I feel like I can’t move on from what happened until I give Oliver a chance.”
Rachel pops back in. “Carter said to go home and to not come back until Wednesday.”
“Thanks, Rachel.” Riley says to her and she leaves once again.
“I don’t need to go home.” Riley gives me a look.
“Think of this as an opportunity. Take the next day and a half to think about what you want.” She was right. It was an opportunity.
“Fine.” I got up and headed back to my office to gather my stuff. Time to think.