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Chapter 9

Riley pulled me away from the fight that had ensued between Weston and Oliver. I was in shock, I literally could not believe my eyes and understand what was even happening in front of them. So far Weston was the only one that got a punch in, they were mostly wrestling with each other, probably because they were both very intoxicated.

“Stop!” I screamed. A crowd was forming around us, I felt someone pulling me back. It was Riley.

Grant and Adam both stepped in. Riley pulled me inside of my apartment before anything else could happen.

I hear fireworks going off in the background meaning it was officially the new year. I heard people cheering, and ai wasn’t sure if it was because of the fight or the fact that the clock has just turned to midnight.

I suddenly realize that Riley has been talking to me this whole time, I can’t really hear anything at all. My ears feel like they’re clogged, and the only sound I can really hear is my breathing.

I am hyperventilating.

I am having a panic attack.

I haven’t had one this bad in years, it’s been so long that I actually don’t remember when it was or how bad they were.

All I know now is that I can’t freaking breathe. My chest hurts almost like I’m having a heart attack or something.

I close my eyes.

Tears stream down my face.

I think about the first time I ever had a panic attack. My grandmother came with me to my parents house to pack up my clothes. She promised me they weren’t there, little did I know that they were detained by the police, but ten year old me didn’t know that. I just thought they weren’t home.

My grandmother was talking to my grandfather on the phone downstairs, so I was completely alone upstairs packing.

I heard a car door slam, one that sounded similar to our family car. I completely froze in place with fear that a ten year old should never have.

All of a sudden I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t get a deep breath no matter how hard I tried. I could swear that both my parents were standing right behind me, I couldn’t get myself to look.

I passed out from the hyperventilating. I actually had to be put on anxiety medication as a ten year old after that, which did help out a lot, but I also had to learn how to talk myself out of having one.

“The bed is white.” I say.

“What?” Riley asks.

“The room is white. My furniture is a dark mahogany.” Riley just rubbed my arms as I did my best to calm down.

Grant comes into the room. He looks very concerned. “She’s having a panic attack.” Riley tells him.

“Put your head in between your legs. Reach your arms down and grab on to your ankles.” I look at him, he’s very blurry with the tears in my eyes. “You can trust me, Hanna. I promise.” He helps me get into the position he wants me in.

I was finally able to get my breathing under control. I squeezed my ankles as I held onto them, that helped my legs wake up from the numbness. I wasn’t sure if that was from the panic attack or the alcohol to be honest.

“Adam drove Oliver home, he was completely okay to drive.” Grant updates us. “I had to put Weston into a cab, him I had to convince not to come in here barging. He wanted to apologize to you, Hanna.” I looked up at Grant.

“I don’t understand why they got into a fight.” Riley says. I suddenly felt embarrassed. I’ve never been the center of a fight,

“I was talking to Ollie outside, and he tried to kiss me, but I pushed him away. I didn’t realize Weston was outside watching it all go down. Next thing I knew he had punched Ollie.” I felt exhausted as I sat in an upright position.

“I think Weston thought Oliver was trying to take advantage of you. He doesn’t know your history with Oliver, does he?” Grant asks me and I shake my head.

“No.” My eyes are filled with tears. “I feel so bad, I think I could have stopped the fight.”

“Don’t blame yourself, Hanna.” Riley says. “It was very obviously testosterone that got the best of them. They both owe you an apology.” It didn’t feel like that. I felt like I owed them both the apology. I just don’t understand why Weston would do that. He was having a good time with Mia, why did he try to come to my rescue?

Before I could stop myself, I burst into more tears. Riley hugs me real tight, I can hear her mouthing something to Grant, and next thing I hear is the door opening and closing.

“It’s going to be alright.” She whispers to me.

What have I gotten myself into?

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