AN: Sorry for the delay! My last laptop broke and it took me awhile to get another one.
Blue was quiet as he wrapped the over-sized green towel around me. When he was finished patting me down, I started to speak again, but he saw my attempt and bent down. His arm settled beneath my kneecaps as he swept me off my feet and carried me back to bed. He tried to pull away once he’d settled me down, but I locked my arms around his neck.
This was not going to be a topic swept under the rug and the heavy sigh that expanded Blue’s chest told me my message was received. He pulled back enough to search my face.
“What did you just say?” Blue asked again, his tone biting and sharp as he glared down at me.
“I-a--n-nothing,” I whispered. I’d broken my own rules. The rules both Blue and I had agreed to. The no ‘love’ rule, just experimentation and pleasure.
I shivered when his sigh tickled against my lips.“You said you loved me.”
The tremor in his voice was there and the worry etched in his furrowed brows. “I’m sorry.”
Blue huffed, his breath fanning my collarbone as his head bowed. “Is it true?”
I wasn’t a liar. Even if lying could be a sort of saving grace in this situation, I wouldn’t do it. Did he want me to say it wasn’t true? White lies can hurt just as much as the truth, so what was the point in lying? Truth--even if it hurts... “It is true.”
The gentle press of his lips against my shoulder made me feel like everything would be okay, even if I did slip up.
“Then don’t be sorry about it.”
Blue lifted himself off the bed and scrubbed his hands through his already disheveled, damp hair. He raked his fingernails down the side of his throat, cracked his neck, then his knuckles before licking his bottom lip and turning his honey-colored too-serious eyes on me.
“Let me clarify. I’m only sorry because I said it at an inopportune time. Got caught in the feels and it slipped out. I wanted to tell you when we were both more level headed and could--”
“Grace,” he mumbled, “we agreed. From the very beginning, we were on the same page.”
“So-so what now?”
Biting my lip, I pushed myself up so that I wasn’t lying on my back any longer. “So nothing. Nothing has to change.”
His eyebrows darted into his hairline and he scoffed, “Are you fucking kidding me? Everything has changed!”
I sighed. “This is exactly why I wanted to do it when we were not post-orgasm.”
“Have you ever been in love?”
I rolled my eyes. “You know very well I haven’t.”
Blue shrugged and tilted his head. “Then how do you know it’s love?”
“Let’s pretend you didn’t ask me that, because we both know I’m not stupid.”
He nodded. “Fair enough, sorry. Well, I have been in love.”
It was completely new to me. I’d known he’d had someone else that had held his heart, but him saying it flat-out made my chest ache. I was breathless as I clutched a hand to my chest. “Th-that’s wonderful, Blue. The ability to love and be loved in return is one of the best human qualities--”
“It was torture. A continuing circle of pure hell where she hurt me, I got back at her, and then she hurt me even more.”
This woman that had damaged him so much would perhaps, one day, get a visit from me. The insight she could provide, her side combined with his side, would shed a new light on everything for both of them. Maybe it wasn’t so bad for her, maybe it was worse... “Sometimes you can love, but it grows toxic. Sometimes too much can burn too bright and before you know it’s torched. There’s nothing left. Have you talked to her?”
“Wow. Can’t compete with a dead person,” I mumbled.
Blue paused, his eyes widening, before the corner of his mouth lifted. “We had broken up two years before she died. Car accident,” he said.
“I’m sorry she died, but Blue you can’t regret loving or being loved. It shaped who you are today. You’re a wonderful man and--”
The gentle smile that had graced his face vanished and the hard glare from before settled in place. “You don’t know me. In fact, if you really knew me, what I have planned for you, you wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t be in this room, naked with just a flimsy towel keeping me from coming unhinged. Hell, you wouldn’t even be talking to me right now.”
I licked my bottom lip, pleased when his gaze zoned in on the movement. “I know about your little games. The four of you... I’ve known from the beginning. I mean, if anything, I was taking advantage of you and what you wanted to do to me. I didn’t expect to fall in love with you, but I did. We burn hard, but the good thing about me is I love camping.”
“Wh-what? I’m confused. Camping? Y-you know about us?”
The towel I’d been clutching to my chest loosened when I shifted my arms, folding them under my breasts, the terrycloth material was barely covering my nipples.“My love of camping has provided me the knowledge of keeping a fire burning for a long time, even in the pouring down rain. Symbolism. I won’t let our fire burn out, if you give me a chance. And yes, Blue, I knew from day one. Even now, I’m still willing to give you my virginity at the end of the year party so you can win. If that’s all we get from each other and you end it there, then I’ll get over you. I love you, but if you can’t give me the chance to get you to love me back and we call it quits after that, it’s not gonna make and break me. I won’t let it. I promise. So don’t feel guilty about your pseudo-sinister intentions.”
Blue was shaking his head, had been for the past minute. “Ps-pseudo-sinister? It’s sick, how can it be falsely sinister?
“Because I knew about it. If I didn’t, then yes, it would be sick. And what you’ve all done to the girls in your past was very cruel, but you can’t change the past, you can only learn from it.” I held my hand out to him, beckoning him to me. “Come here. I want to take advantage of you again. You look so baffled right now, I wanna eat you up.” His hand was in mine before I finished speaking. It was automatic. It was our magnetic pull to each other.
The girlish giggle that escaped startled me. I shook my head, and pushed him into a sitting position against the headboard.
“Um--” he started, but swallowed his words when I yanked the towel away from me with my free hand and straddled his lap. I shivered. We were so close my nipples brushed his bare chest.
“Did I stun you so much, my love?” I said playfully bending down to bite the meat in his shoulder.
He yelped and his hands clamped down on my waist.
I licked and suckled the bite, soothing the sting before I pulled away to make eye contact with him. My tongue darted out, with the tip I licked the seams of his parting lips, and shifted upwards to bite his cheek. I let my teeth scrape along his cheek as I pulled back to admire the reddening teeth marked skin.
“Biting, huh?” Blue asked, his voice just above a whisper. “Something new to try?”
My smiled widened and I lifted a hand to grip his chin tightly. “I really want to fuck you.”
His shoulders expanded as he inhaled sharply, his honey eyes flashing with sudden desire that hadn’t been there with the biting. So, he doesn’t like biting, but it did it every time when I talked dirty to him. I could work with that.
“I wish I wasn’t a virgin,” I pouted and leaned forward to whisper into his ear, “so you could take me hard against that vanity. Or even this bed, hard enough to make the headboard knock into the wall. Don’t you want to fuck me hard?”
His shaking breath ghosted down my back and I wiggled my hips over his hardening arousal. “Yes,” he said through gritted teeth. His fingers dug into my waist, taking better control of my gyrating bottom half. He removed one hand from my waist and reached around to clutch the back of my neck, forcing my forehead to his. “You are so fuckin’ hot!” he whispered, his eyes gazing intensely into mine.
“So, can I join in on this? I’m okay with watching too... or maybe this is a private moment? I mean, after everything I just heard maybe I should go?” Kie said.
Blue and I turned, surprised we’d both forgotten the sleeping naked man on the other side of this large bed.
Kie gave a mock pout. “I’m hurt you both forgot about me!” He dramatically stood up from the bed and walked towards the connecting bathroom. “I’m nothing to either of you!” he said before slamming the bathroom door.
I chuckled at his grand exit scene. “We love you, Kie!” I shouted at the bathroom door, but Blue said nothing as his gaze remained on my face.
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