"Shh shh, Colton it's okay. Shhh, I got you." I coo in his tiny little ear, trying so hard to comfort him as I am sitting in the back seat of a police car alongside him.
My dad, Ben is driving us towards our destination.
The air around me in this damn car feels like I am being suffocated. My heart not pacing as fast as it use to, but to where I physically and mentally can not bear how close we are to being there. It's as if this was all a nightmare--never waking up--and at this moment it doesn't feel real.
I look down where Colton is weeping in his car seat, his little familiar deep browns eyes looking out of the window watching the trees and signs pass by. I couldn't help but feel the utmost of graveness; solemnly and devastation all at once. The voices in my head are at bay-have been for a while now.
Something in the back of my head can hear her own voice whisper to me, but I keep my guard up and focus on the now as I stare at Colton.
I look out the front windshield seeing that we have made it as Ben pulls up and parks the car on the side of the highway.
Numb and lost I feel right now. Nothing can compare how much this pains me.
I quickly unstrap Colton out the car seat before stepping out of the car, holding him in my arms. Ben shuts his door looking in the direction where we will be going. The look in his eyes says so much though he doesn't say anything at all. I can guarantee he feels the same way, especially when Hailee is still in a coma.
The Doctors are now being very uneasy--unsure about how long it's taken for her to 'come-to' out of sleep. Honestly, she may be slipping away from us, maybe, just maybe, she knows.
As we both walk side by side down a grassy field filled with flowers and flags, both of us stop at a gray granite tombstone.
I hold onto Colton with my life it seems as Ben bends down and straightens up the flowers on the top of it.
A slow tear escaped my eye as I read the words...
'In Loving Memory'
'A Mother and Sist-'
I look away feeling my entire body give up as Colton is in my arms, I hold on to him tightly as I fall to my knees.
"This can't be..." I repeat, "This can't be real..."
Ben kneels down right beside me and places his hand atop my shoulder, he whispers, "You have to stay strong, Andrew. Colton needs you."
He may need me but an unforgivable thought crosses my mind that I needed her more.
To stay sane.
Why did she go there? Why didn't she stay away knowing how much she feared it?
After moments of silence, from the corner of my eye, I see movement. I squint my eyes in the direction wondering what it was, then my eyes widen seeing him standing at a far beside a tall tree. I didn't think twice before handing Ben Colton and charge towards the guy. As soon as I neared him--I rear back my arm and with much force, I swing my fist toward the side of his face--hitting him hard with one blow. He stumbles back, realizing he isn't putting forth much of restraint on his part.
His silver eyes staring at me, the look of pure remorse staining his features, "I deserved that..." He mutters out. It's all his fault! He was the one that was hanging out with her last!
I couldn't contain my anger let alone the agony, I didn't stop once I grab a fist full of his shirt and start punching his face--relentlessly until my own knuckle bled. The pain not matching how I truly feel at this moment--how I feel about her being gone, leaving me and Colton.
"ANDREW STOP! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL HIM!" I hear Ben yell from behind me while Colton cries in his arms. The sound of his wails causes me to stop and look back.
He was the only part of her I have now.
I look back to the guy that is almost limp in my hands with a busted up face. I spat out, "You deserve much worse."
With that, I let him go having him fall onto the ground before turning around to leave right after grabbing Colton out of Ben's grasp.