Sam has been sitting outside my door for four days now, I leave every day, only to return to find him in the exact place. He looks ‘sick’ somehow. For the past two days now his stomach has been growling and he seemed to make no effort in getting food, or a shower. He was determined in staying there until I do give him a second chance or at the very least, a chance to talk to me. Since he came here, he has been apologising, admitting to his mistakes and taking responsibility, I hate to admit it but I was touched, it can’t be easy for a man of his calibre and status to be sitting outside a small apartment begging without having showered for days and just ignoring people’s whispers and pretending he did not see them taking pictures of him, but I guess he was fine with that, for he can stop them from going to the media or public. I have thinking about everything that happened for the past four days, and today I decided to help him out of his misery.
So determined I made it to the door and opened it. Almost instantly, he weakly got up. “listen Anna, I truly am sorry, I want to make it up to you” his voice came out weak as he held on to me, I guess he must think that I am going to leave again. “come in Samuel” I said keeping a straight face, and tried to hide the pain in my heart at seeing him in such a state, especially knowing I caused it. His face lit up when he heard my words and that made me feel worse.
I helped him inside and helped him settle on the sofa, luckily Victor was not around. Since Samuel began his while drama, I sent him to old Kim that night, I didn’t want him to see me as wicked or to see his father in a fallen state, even if he did not know that this man is his father. After making sure he was fine, I went to get him the food I had prepared for him and set them before him. “here, eat” He looked at me weird when I said that. “make sure you finish the soup as well, it will help you in regaining your strength” I kept my voice flat and my expression emotionless, causing him to nod without saying anything.
I left him and went to carry on with my cleaning. A couple of minutes later he came back with now clean plates. I took the dishes to wash, he opened his mouth and before he could speak, “go take a shower, preferably a bath, I believe you know where you can find them” I said without looking at him. “we will talk when you are done, some of your clothes are still in there, not sure if they still fit, but you will manage” I continued washing the dishes without looking back at him, and he made no movement, after a couple of minutes waiting, I turned angrily only to find him staring at me, “leave, you are stinking up my house, or would you prefer to go back to your own?” I shouted and he took off running to the bathroom.
When I was done, I took my sliced fruit and went to watch tv while waiting for him, I searched for a show until I finally settled on Tom and Jerry, on cartoon I would never grow out of. I waited for a while before he came back, now clean and presentable in a pair of black jeans and white shirt that looked like it was a size too small, but then again, he did not look bad. “so what did you want to talk about” I asked turning my attention back to the cartoons. He hesitated for a moment before his voice came. “I wanted to apologise for everything I id to you, all I’m asking for now is a second chance.” It came out more as a whisper.
“so you apologise for using me, nearly getting me and my son killed, having people watch me, do you think anyone in their right mind would give you a chance?” I could feel my anger rise but I controlled it. “I know I did a lot of terrible things to you, and I never had any intention of hurting you, I just want to make things up to you. Meeting you again after all this time apart made me realise what I have been missing Anna. I love you, and I want to make things right” his voice sounded so broken, he said he loves me, had it been back then would have believed it, but what does he take e for now, a fool?
“I don’t know why you are so determined to get me back, but don’t you dare lie to me. Love? I doubt you know what that is. Anyway, I will give you a chance, it’s exhausting carrying so much hate” I told him, keeping my emotions in check, and my voice strong. Before I could react, he hugged me. “I promise you won’t regret this decision; I will prove myself to you” he sounded happy this time. ‘this guy should have gone into acting’ I thought to myself bitterly. ‘It pains me to see you keep lying to me Samuel, don’t you realise I was trained to detect this’ I couldn’t help but sigh as I pushed him away.
‘I’m only keeping you around for I believe Victor should get to know his father, regardless of how much of an a** hole you are’ I couldn’t help this thought when I looked at him. ‘I know you are planning something with me Sam, and I’m ready for anything, I’m not sure if you realise that you are making my plans easier by getting me close to you. I just wish I did not have to hurt you….’, I couldn’t help but sigh loud. “now you can leave, everything is good” I told him pointing at the door. “I will leave only on one condition, you let me take you and Victor to the amusement park next week” he said grinning, his eyes black, warning me of danger, but heck, I want to see what it is he can do. “sure, now leave” I smiled at him and he looked taken aback for a moment before he hugged me again and left. ‘what am I going to do with you, you don’t do anything to Victor, and you could leave unharmed that day’ I thought staring at the now closed door.
That evening, I called old Kim to tell her she could send Victor back. After having taken care of the mess, I wanted to see my baby, so I cooked his favourite food and waited for him to arrive. A while later, he came shooting from the door and straight into my arms. “I missed you so much, did you miss me?” I asked, embracing him a little tighter. “I always miss mommy; I miss mommy more every minute I don’t see her” he pouted and said in the most angelic voice I have ever had. “I knew my Vic would be sad, so I made all your favourite food” I told him releasing him, and he kissed me before he ran off to the table. “I love all the food mommy makes” he smiled at me and I laughed. “fluttery, but you must always compliment mom, or I will never cook for you again” I said between laughs as I sat beside him.
We ate our dinner full of laughter, he kept telling me all the stories the old woman was telling him. When we were done, he helped me with the dishes and we got ready for bed. “oh! Vic, uncle Samuel is taking us out next week, do you want to go” I asked him as I tugged him in bed. “as long as mommy is going, I will also go, besides, I am mommy’s bodyguard, who will protect mommy if I don’t go” he said so seriously, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “now go to sleep little bodyguard” I kissed him then left, happy that he agreed. ‘when the time is right, I will tell you who he is Victor, I hope he won’t disappoint you’ I closed the door behind me and went to sleep as well.
When mommy told me that this man wants to take us out, I couldn’t help the hate that rose in my heart, I didn’t want to go there, I didn’t even want any relation with him. Had it not been for him, I would be like every other normal kid living with both parents, had he not hurt my mom, we would have been a happy family. What does he want now? Trying to fix things after using my mother? Only a fool would think that. With the pressure I am putting on him to steer clear of her, he just suddenly chooses to go to her? Does he think if he gets her he will be able to get rid of me? Can he not realise that he is just digging his own grave if he takes this path? Worst of all, if he does succeed in gaining my mother’s love again, does he not realise it will make things even worse for him? I don’t like sharing my mother’s love, her heart is only for me, and should I have to sacrifice and share, it can never be with him, I will not allow it. ‘let’s just wait and see what you are planning, for your sake I hope it won’t lead me to take action before she does.’