Today can be described as being a turbulent weather phenomenon laced with fecal mattter. In simpler terms: A complete and utter shitstorm.
The day started off with a hint of optimism since it was my first day at my new job. That hint of optimism is now being sat on by a fat blob named anxiety and man is he a bitch.
At the moment I'm lying on top of my bed, wrapped in blankets and staring at a laptop that has the title "Friends" displayed on the screen. I need some of Joey's charm and Chandler's sarcasm for me to have any chance of falling asleep tonight.
The events of today keep replaying in my mind. The logical side of my brain is telling me that I might be overreacting while the emotional side of my brain is telling me to freak the hell out.
One good thing that resulted from tonight's jizz surprise was the start of a possible friendship with Andy. There's something about washing someone else's swimmers off a car window that really brings two people together.
After helping me with the window, he offered to drive me back to the dorm. He suggested that one of the personal trainers could follow us in my car. At first I politely declined - I didn't want to cause anyone any more trouble. However, I caved after Andy threatened to terminate my gym membership if I didn't agree to it. I did not know there was such a soft heart beneath that rock hard chest.
I look down at my hands to see that they're still shaking. Andy tried to assure me that it was probably just some horny student who had a bit too much to drink. Still, it triggered something in me. A memory that I've tried hard to forget.
Back in high school, in a time where everything in my life seemed to be going well, I received a surprise package one day after school. When I opened the box a glass bottle filled with semen was revealed, resting on a layer of rose petals, with a note attached saying: "Drink it, I promise you'll like it." At the time, it was only Bree and I in my house. We disposed of it, thinking it was some kind of sick joke. Well actually, hoping it was.
Goosebumps start forming on my skin signalling that it's time to lock that memory away again. I ball my hands into fists, denying myself access to the part of my memories I've fought so hard to erase. I know I'm trying to dismiss something that could be a red flag as a drunk student just looking for a laugh, but for the sake of my sanity that's what I have to believe at the moment.
I shift my focus from my hands to the other side of the room, I see my roommate lying on her bed, in the same awkward position she was in when I entered the room, still asleep. She must have had a very tiring day, because it's not normal for Amelia to go to bed so early in the evening. I don't mind it though, I don't think I would have known what to say if she questioned my current mood.
I haven't really given Amelia much of a chance to be my friend. She has tried, but every time she invites me to go do something I make up some kind of an excuse. my heart wants to be friends with her but my mind keeps telling me to keep people at a distance. As corny as it sounds, maybe this new Valerie I want to become listens more to her heart than her mind.
It's something I should really think about - tomorrow that is. For now, I have a coffee date with Rachel and the gang at Central Perk.