T R I X I E
I watched the men file out of the chapel, most of them heading towards the kitchen where Izzy and Reina were finishing up breakfast. Layla was getting the kids seated, getting them ready to eat.
“Izzy, Trixie!” Sabotage’s voice boomed from inside of the chapel.
I shared a confused look with Izzy as she came out of the kitchen before we both headed towards the chapel. Alex was sitting at the end of the table, a cigarette between his lips and a brand new cut on his back, labeling him the charter’s new Chaplain.
I was honestly a bit shocked that it hadn’t gone to Bullet seeing as he had been a member of the club way before Alex had been. But I knew Sabotage did things for a reason.
“Close the door.” Sabotage instructed. “Trixie, take a seat.”
I slowly sat down, and Alex moved from his seat, coming to stand behind me as he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. Izzy stood next to Sabotage.
“Trixie, you know you could have come to me about anything, yes?” Sabotage asked me, his voice gruff.
I swallowed thickly. “Yes.” I admitted.
He leaned forward, linking his fingers together on the table as he studied me with unreadable eyes. “So, why didn’t you?” He asked me.
“I don’t -”
“He knows, baby.” Alex told me gently. “I came to him this morning before church was called.”
“What’s going on?” Izzy demanded as she looked at me, then to her little brother.
Tears filled my eyes, and I was thankful I hadn’t had a chance to do my make-up yet this morning. “I didn’t know what to do.” I told Sabotage, my voice breaking as I spoke.
“This club is your family, Trixie. It always has, and nothing will change that.” Sabotage reminded me gently. “I want to help you, but I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s going on. So, start from the beginning.”
Alex knelt in front of me. “Look at me, baby.” He instructed gently. I looked down at him as he reached up and gently ran his thumbs over my cheeks. “The Savage Crows can help us.” He assured me. “I just need you to tell Sabotage everything, okay? No one here will judge you, baby.”
I nodded, drawing in a shaky breath. He stood up again and pressed his lips to mine in a tender kiss before he took his spot back beside me, placing his hands back on my shoulders.
“I was six weeks pregnant when Alex left for basic training.” I said quietly. Izzy’s eyes flashed with rage as she opened her mouth to speak, but Sabotage grabbed her hand, shaking his head at her. “I didn’t tell him because I wanted him to make something of himself without the added worry of a baby.”
“Is that why you left?” Sabotage asked me.
I nodded. “I didn’t want anyone here knowing and telling Alex. He didn’t need to be tied down back then.” I drew in a shaky breath. “When I was pregnant with Alexandra, I was diagnosed with bipolar depression.” I informed them. “My mother was freaked out by the random highs and lows I would get. A few weeks I would be okay - happy, constantly doing something - and then I would hit a low. I wouldn’t get out of bed, couldn’t find the energy to do anything, and I was just so down and a bit out of it.”
I pushed my hand through my black hair before I dropped it back to my lap. “My mom forced me to go to therapy twice a week, but I refused any medication. I hate medication, and I sure as fuck wasn’t about to take anything while I was pregnant.”
Alex leaned over and kissed my temple, giving me silent encouragement to get through the really hard part of my story. “When I had Alexandra, I got extremely depressed. There were no longer any highs and lows - it was just lows.” I swallowed nervously. “I had a breakdown - my mother freaked out, and honestly, so did my therapist. I lost my ability to speak, I began having hallucinations, and I kind of lost touch with reality.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “They tried diagnosing me with schizophrenia, but another therapist at one of the psych wards I was admitted into wanted to do a second evaluation on me. After looking over my chart, taking in the fact that I was already diagnosed with bipolar depression and I had just had a baby, he diagnosed me with postpartum psychosis - in other words, a very severe case of postpartum depression that mimics the symptoms of schizophrenia.”
“Oh, you poor, sweet girl.” Izzy breathed, pain and anguish for me in her eyes.
“It gets worse.” I told her as I blinked back my tears. I pulled my phone out of my pocket, pulling up the picture of Alexandra. I slid it across the table to Sabotage. “That’s Alex’s daughter.” I informed them.
“She’s so beautiful.” Izzy whispered as she picked up the phone, gazing at her niece.
“My mom took me to court, and the courts deemed me an unfit mother because I was still recovering.” I informed them. “I only get supervised visitation with her every other weekend for four hours at a time.” Tears rushed down my cheeks as a sob ripped from my throat. “She calls me mommy, but she doesn’t even know me.” I cried.
Alex pulled me up from the chair, wrapping his muscular arms around my body. “Shh, baby.” He soothed. “I’m here; I’m going to get all of this shit fixed, okay?”
“Get everyone in here.” Sabotage instructed Izzy.
She nodded and left the chapel. A moment later, I heard her authoritative voice yelling across the room for everyone to get their asses into the chapel. Alex stayed standing with his arms around me, giving me strength since I felt like I had absolutely none.
“What’s going on?” Hatchet asked as he stood behind his chair that Layla was sitting in.
“Alex, how much money do you have saved up?” Sabotage asked me, ignoring Hatchet’s question.
“About twenty thousand.” I told him.
He nodded, pointing his finger at Ink. “How was your real estate agent?” He asked Ink since they had just bought a new house a couple of months ago on a bigger plot of land.
Ink shrugged, nodding. “Yeah, she was decent.” He said. “Why?”
He pointed at me next. “Get her information from Ink.” He instructed me. “The first step you need to make is to get a house and furnish it so you have proof of a stable home.” I nodded in understanding. He looked around the table. “Everyone at this table will pitch in if Alex and Trixie need help.” Sabotage instructed. “And if any of you have a fucking problem with that, go ahead and put your goddamn cut on this table and head out to the garage to get the ink burned off your fucking back.”
“Again, what’s going on?” Hatchet demanded. “I don’t mind helping when a brother needs it; I just need to know what I’m helping for.”
“Trixie and Alex have a child.” Izzy informed him. She looked at us. “Do you two mind if I show everyone?” She asked.
Trixie shook her head. Izzy passed Grim the phone first. His eyes widened. “Fuck.” He grunted.
“Due to unfortunate circumstances, Trixie lost custody of Alexandra.” Sabotage informed everyone at the table. “Everyone in this club is going to help her and Alex get that little girl back. She needs her mother and her father.”
“We’ll do whatever it takes.” Grave spoke up, giving me a small smile. “You two will get your little girl back.” He assured us.
My throat closed up with more tears, and they burst out. Alex tightened his arms around me again, pressing his lips to the top of my head. “Everything is going to be fine, baby.” Alex assured me. He cupped my face, pulling my head up so I was forced to meet his eyes. “Be my strong girl.” He told me, brushing this thumbs over my damp cheeks. “You’re so fucking strong, Trixie. Continue being strong for me, okay?”
I nodded. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine gently, his strength seeping deep into my soul as he did so.