17 - Unkempt
The worst thing about crying yourself to sleep was that the next day, you get stuck with red puffy eyes that everyone will notice and point out.
"Rough night?" Darren asked Xam as she entered the kitchen.
Her hair was put into a messy bun and some of it fell down loosely on her face. The wig was tangled up after everything last night and she wasn't even sure if she could still manage to fix it given the state she was currently in. She would have to remove it later.
Mustering all the will she had left in her this morning, she pulled herself up and clothed herself in one of Grey's shirt. She paired it up with some pajamas she packed with and went down to the first floor to get some caffeine in her system.
She hadn't expect Darren out of all people to be the one up early with the cooks and maids, let alone start up a conversation with her. The old man didn't really seem interested in getting to know her. Even at dinner yesterday he had avoided conversing with her.
"I've had worse." She took a sip of coffee the maid had offered and sat down on one of the stools.
It was a lie though. Nothing was worse than not having her own mate beside her in the bed she slept in. She had gotten used to his warmth and the sparks that enveloped her even in their sleep.
Darren nodded his head and took a sip of his own. He stared at her, studying the pitiful state she was in.
"What? Just get it out already. I know you're dying to ask questions." Xam groaned.
"Oh nothing, it's just that I was expecting a pregnancy announcement after the muffled screams last night."
She spluttered the hot liquid she just sipped all over the marble countertop as blood rushed to her cheeks. She was taken aback by the casualness he held talking about their intimate act. Curse werewolf hearing.
"Goddess, it wasn't like that." She grabbed the kitchen rolls and mumbled an apology to the pack maid while wiping the spill clean.
"I figured since you look like hell today." He gave her a sympathetic smile, "What happened, kid?"
She could only sigh and stare down at her hands. It was that same question that kept her up crying last night.
"I don't know."
Even when she refused to acknowledge it, she knew very well what had happened. She had hurt him more than she intended to. She heard him howl last night and it killed her knowing that she was the one who caused him to produce the melancholic sound.
Darren snorted and shook his head to the sides.
"Funny because that's what he told me too."
"You saw him? Where is he?" She waited for him to reply but he kept his mouth shut.
Seconds later she heard the front door open. Darren smirked, murmured a 'goodluck' at her and excused himself. She heard voices and footsteps getting closer and the smell of her mate growing stronger.
"I'll grant you your vacation leave when I can figure things out, Rage." She heard him say.
"Great. It would mean a lot to me," Rage came in to view and his eyes widened once it landed on her, "You look horrible."
Her insecurity came back the moment those words left his mouth. Did she really look that bad? Her eyes were just puffy, other than that, she was her usual morning self or at least that's what she thought she was.
"I do, don't I? ." She caught her lips quiver and bit it in an attempt to stop herself from bursting into tears.
"I didn't mean to offend you." He shot her an apologetic glance, "Are you okay?"
"It's okay. I'm fine."
She was far from fine but she wouldn't admit it infront of him especially when she knew she was the one at fault for everything. Grey only looked at her blankly. She felt small under his emotionless gaze. She avoided looking back into his eyes and tugged at the hem of his shirt she was wearing. She diverted her gaze at the cup of coffee infront of her.
Life was unfair. Unlike her who looked like utter shit, he stood there in the middle of the kitchen looking like a handsome god.
His sweat made his skin glisten without the sunlight shining on it. His cheeks turned slightly pinkish, his hair slightly wet and tousled probably from running around the territory. She couldn't help but take a peak at how his muscles moved when he grabbed a water bottle and drank from it.
She quickly composed herself and placed her cup of coffee on the basin. Her confidence was already deflated enough after two men indirectly told her she was unkempt this morning. She didn't want to hear him say it to her too. It would have been too much.
"I'll be upstairs." She mumbled and made her way back to their bedroom.
She could sense him following her but she didn't know what to say or do so she stayed silent. Once she arrived, she directly went in the bathroom and took a shower, fully avoiding him. She groaned in annoyance at her own behavior. Now she was the one acting childish.
She was gonna regret her actions later. She was making things worse by avoiding him instead of explaining and making him understand. Tears started slowly slipping down on her cheeks.
Why did she have to be so difficult? If she came out clean from the start maybe he could've understood her better.
She took the time assessing her situation under the warm droplets of water.Surprisingly, he was still there when she got out from her long bath. He was sitting on the bed and looking at her intently.
"Aren't you gonna go down for breakfast?"
"I need to change." She said.
Still, he held his gaze and stayed silent.
"I need you to leave." She whispered.
She froze on her spot when Grey stood up and stopped mere inches away from her face. Her heartbeat increased drastically, fearing what might happen next. His fingers slowly gripped her neck as he bent down and kissed her jaw.
"I've seen it all, Xamantha. No point in hiding it from me now. And if you think you can stop me from looking at what's mine then think again." His kisses went down to her collar bones.
He was making her lose her mind. He was still hurt and angry, she could feel it. This was just like another punishment for her. A reminder of who she belonged to.
Grey slipped her out of the robe she was in while peppering kisses on her shoulders and chest. She was starting to get wet but before they could do a repeat of the good stuff last night, he stepped away and took a moment to look at her and take her all in.
"Go change and meet me downstairs for breakfast." He said in a commanding voice.
Xam was unable to process what just happened. When she came back to reality, her mate was already out of the room leaving her stark naked.