That’s all I feel.
Emptiness. Cold. Hurt.
I never thought that I would lose my mother so quickly in my life. My mother was my role model, she was the person I wanted to be when I get older. And now she is gone forever. My father and I are so heartbroken. She was the light in our family and now it feels as if the light has gone out.
Staring at my mothers grave a month after her passing still hurts me.
My father is still closed off from everyone and everything. And I can only imagine the pain he is going through. He was married to my mother for 20 years.
I come to my mothers grave every weekend just to say hey and bring some flowers. But my father does visit every two days to be close to her.
I just hope he will find someone one day that will love him as he deserves.
The few raindrops that fell on my face broke me out of my thoughts. I should go before the rain gets heavier.
“I love you mom, no matter what.” I put the flowers down and get up to go back to my almost empty apartment.
“Taxi” I yelled.
The Taxi drove up to me on the side of the road and splashed me with water from the drain.
Great I thought, that’s just what I needed. Getting in the cab and telling the driver the address to my apartment I thought how much I am going to miss this place.
But no matter where I am, I will always be a new york girl.
Paying the driver and tipping him, I got out of the car and went into my building.
I work as an Interior designer so I get to live in a more expensive building with tight security.
Getting into my apartment I saw that all that was left was my mattress and a few groceries in the kitchen. My bags were already packed for me to leave tomorrow. I would miss New York. My life was here, my friends, my family and my job. But I think it is time to finally leave.
I already spoke with my father about me leaving and he is happy for me. But he did threaten me that if I do not call a few times a month he will get on a plane and come see me.
I got ready for bed and opened a bottle of wine to drink with my book. I am a little scared to move across the globe but if I don’t go now will I ever leave?
Okay, I need to stop thinking negatively and go to bed.
I do have an important day tomorrow.