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My Kind of Revenge

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If I hadn't had an abusive dad, I wouldn't have met my ex. If I hadn't dated my ex, I wouldn't have escaped to Pittsburgh. If I hadn't escaped to Pittsburgh, I wouldn't have been kidnapped. If I hadn't had that classmate of mine, a psychopath wouldn't have fallen for me. I, Bianca Johnson, will take revenge against those who have turned my life a living hell. ... No one could ever stop me from doing it except this one guy who could still steal my heart when I had safely locked the door.

Romance / Drama
Yohana Ekky Tan
Age Rating:

The Three Abuses

In the last 25 years of my life, I have had three cases of major abuse by men. Physical abuse by my dad, mental abuse by my former classmate, and sexual abuse by my ex. My life was absolutely miserable, enough to be named a living hell. I’ve always felt that life is unfair to me, and why should it be me? There are zillions of people out there in the world, but why me? Argh. I’m being selfish again. Nobody in the world wants to experience the same thing I have.

Let me open up with you and I won’t hold a thing so you won’t judge me by saying, “Hey, it’s not only you. Many people in this world are facing similar situations. Don’t complain too much.” I’m enough with people telling me those words. They’ve always demanded me to be strong but they never really supported me. Alright, I’m gonna break down all these major issues in my life and you tell me what you think of them.

Oh, by the way, I’m Bianca Johnson.

| Physical Abuse |

I’m the first daughter in the family and I had this kind of weight on my shoulder. My parents, specifically my Dad said that I had to become more mature than my sister. Oh right, that makes sense because I’m older than her. However, it doesn’t mean that he could ask me to do things gentlemen should actually do.

Imagine this. Whenever my family went shopping together, I was asked to carry the heaviest pack from the shopping center to the car. My Mom or my sister would usually offer some help, but seeing their hands were also full, I decided to carry it myself. When I did that, my Mom would complain to my Dad saying, “Help your daughter bring it,” but my Dad would answer that he would be driving so it was not his responsibility.

I swear I wouldn’t want to have a husband like him. Ignorant men like him would stay in my blacklist. Fortunately, I still could control my mouth that I never cursed at him. All I did was only complain inside my heart for his unacceptable behavior. I totally lost a father figure in my life. He’s completely not a father to me.

Nevertheless, it was still nothing compared to every violent act he did whenever things didn’t come as he wished. He would be able to throw things around him to anyone near him. Once, I saw him fighting with Mom for something trivial as wanting to spend time with my sister and me in our room instead of with him in their room. He then took a screwdriver and threw it to Mom that her thigh got bruised severely. Similarly, he also threw a heavy wooden chair to me for mishearing my statement for something offensive to him. I explained that it wasn’t the thing I said and Mom supported me, but he wouldn’t admit his mistake.

What was wrong with him? I think his brain was broken or something? I hated it when he treated us so badly. Would it be a sin if I wanted to take my family away from him? But the thing is that my Mom was too kind-hearted that she gave him another chance to change. I couldn’t imagine how hard it was for her to be able to stand her husband’s evil traits.

| Mental Abuse |

Abusive treatments I received at home turned me into a cold-hearted girl. I tended to isolate myself at school, choosing to become a nerdy bookworm instead of just a normal student socializing with others. Whenever someone tried to approach me, I stayed cool and didn’t want to initiate conversations. That was the reason why they left me eventually. I realized that it was somehow my mistake.

I was always the top student in the class or even school. Teachers knew me and often bragged about me in my class and also other classes. As a result, many students got to know my name but didn’t really know who I was. This opportunity was then used by one of my classmates. He was somewhat my rival -- well, that’s what he thought of me.

This boy was always the second top and never able to beat me. Therefore, he came up with a mysterious plan I didn’t know of because at first he only told me to help him with something. I agreed to help him but then I figured out that he was actually trying to pair me with some random guy who was older than me.

Of course, I rejected this guy’s feelings for me when he confessed in front of my school. I barely knew who he was and he even looked like a rebel. I had enough problems at home by doing nothing wrong, so if my Dad found out that I went out with such a guy, what could have happened? You tell me.

The next day was my doomsday. When I arrived at school, all I saw were things looking like pieces of stink torn human or animal flesh. Apparently, those were only mashed watermelons covering the ground and the walls.

“Bianca! What have you done to this school?” that classmate of mine -- my enemy -- mentioned my name loudly that people started to turn their gaze at me. “Look at this!”

I was taken aback when I looked at the red-inked writings on the wall. “Bianca Johnson is my forever love but she rejected me. Make her mine or I will make this school even worse than this,” I read it silently. My eyes widened and I looked around me. “No! I have no idea what is going on here. Trust me.”

That was the first time I spoke aloud in front of people and yet, I was completely embarrassed. Now they all know the owner of the name that they all had heard all this time.

The headmaster summoned me to his office, requesting me to explain what had happened. After explaining the truth, I begged him not to report this to my parents. I didn’t want to be grounded for this. I knew for sure that my Dad wouldn’t leave this case just like that. He would interrogate me and might beat me. Being called to the school would be enough to raise his hideous anger towards me.

It was a relief that the headmaster agreed to not report this to my parents. He just asked me to never repeat the same thing. I said yes in order to stop this case here even though it wasn’t purely my fault. As a light punishment, I was also asked to help the school cleaning servicewoman to clean up the mess.

Since that day, my classmate blew up this unfortunate event that the whole school now remembered me as ‘the doomed girl’. Did he hate me that much so that he had to do this far? He could’ve just asked me to let him get the first position because I wouldn’t mind giving it to him by making a single wrong answer on every test. But of course, it would hurt his pride, that’s why he chose this way.

My entire school life became miserable. I couldn’t study peacefully and people kept staying away from me. Some even bet on me that I wouldn’t be successful in life. Screw them, I thought inside my heart and finally proved to them as I came out as a straight-A student. At least I didn’t lose my dignity.

| Sexual Abuse |

Violence, ignorance, and selfishness were the things I truly hated the most. I naturally avoided people who had these traits. However, someone once said to me that I should never generalize everyone for what I’ve experienced. Thus I tried to be a bit open up and found myself befriending some good people at the university and workplace. Over these years I have become a better person whom people liked.

I even have two best friends who stick with me through my ups and downs. They were Matt and Penny and last year they started to date each other. Penny was always the one who kept insisting that I go to some blind dates and I always rejected her offer. From the pictures of the guys she showed me, I could tell I saw one or two who looked great. However, I didn’t dare to step out of my comfort zone. Not yet. I wasn’t ready with any kind of violence and harsh words that could hurt me again. It’s only because I struggled to heal myself that I could put a smile on my face and talk to many people these days.

Work had always been my priority since I got this secretary job in one of the growing companies in New York in 2015. I wouldn’t risk this position for something unimportant right now. I had to make my life more stable as I had moved out of home and lived on my own. Besides having a job that paid the bills, I also had to save up in order to survive in this world with unexpected situations.

In one of those days, my boss took me out to attend an unofficial meeting in Washington, DC. There she met her old friends from university and it wasn’t a meeting but a party. She introduced me to everyone as her coworker instead of her secretary. This was the thing that made me so grateful for working for her.

While my boss was having fun with her friends, I decided to sit after a long time of standing. I sat by the bar and ordered a soft drink. I couldn’t drink alcohol, that’s why. Then and there, a guy came approaching me with a nice smile.

“Is this seat available?” he asked and then sat after I nodded. “You’re Sarah’s coworker, right? Why aren’t you with her?”

I shook my head. “I’m just tired. Not used to attending parties like this. I usually stay at home and play guitar to release the stress from work,” I unconsciously told him that.

Apparently, he was attracted. “Really? I play guitar too,” he cheerfully replied. “What is your favorite song or band?”

That was the first time after a long time I felt okay talking with a man. The conversation continued and we even exchanged numbers. Starting from that night, we communicated frequently and even met every weekend since he also had just moved to New York. After several months we decided to start a relationship.

He was very sweet to me and treated me like a princess. Who wouldn’t be swept away? I believed him and relied on him in almost everything. I told him almost everything I felt at home and work, what stressed me out and what made me happy. He listened very attentively and found myself comfortable being around him. I even had a glimpse of hope that this relationship would end in marriage.

Until the day came when he started to touch me, not on my hands anymore but my hips and then my thighs. At first, I tried to still think positively and look only on the bright side. After half a year of our relationship, intimacy might take place. However, things didn’t go smoothly. He rushed it and forced his desire on me. I had told him that I wasn’t ready for deep intimacy before marriage but he threatened me.

Our relationship grew into an unhealthy one. I didn’t feel comfortable whenever I was with him anymore as before. He kept forcing me to meet his desire and hatred for him grew in my heart. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I told him I didn’t want to be with him and that’s when he went even further. He overpowered me and stole my purity.

With all of my might and remaining strength, I ran away from him. I hid away from him by quitting my precious job and blocked him from any contact access either on social media or in person. With the help of Matt and Penny, I moved to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and started a new life there.

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