He doesn't want to be just friends and wants us to give this a shot? Is he for real? I was certain that I've mentioned more than once that I'm not looking for a relationship other than friendship and now he wants to give us a shot? Is he insane?
I was blinking rapidly now and I wasn't sure if I was going to pass out or what. He was staring at me with a hint of panic in his beautiful gray eyes. He can't panic while I'm panicking! I thought to myself. "Say something." What do I say now? Shit!
"I umm...." I was trying to come up with an answer without sounding so so lost. I think I repeated the phrase five times before taking deep breaths to calm my heart. What do I really think about this whole thing? Okay, Ireland. Think hard and dig deep. Do I want him as a friend or something more? Should I proposition him to be my go-to person when I want to have sex with no strings attached? Because really, I don't think I'm ready to say goodbye to his dick. Do I like him as in like him? More importantly, how is this going to affect the deal?
I reached for the glass of water beside me with shaky hands before taking a sip. He was watching me carefully his eyes fixed solely on me. Okay, I got it... I think. I inhaled and exhaled slowly and looked into his eyes. I have a feeling that I'm going to regret this decision at some point, but I'm not new to taking risks, and as far as I'm concerned this risk could be worth it in the end. Then again everything might just crash and burn. I don't want to have a boyfriend, but I want him so so much. Talk about complete contradiction, but again, fuck it!
"Does giving us a shot have an expiration date?" I asked. He cocked his head to the side looking perplexed. I was finally able to string coherent words and that's what comes out of my mouth? A stupid question. Of course, it happens a lot when it's Elijah I'm dealing with. "Expiration date, like the free 30 day trial on Netflix?" That actually puts a smile on my face. "No, Ireland. I don't think there should be an expiration date. It's more like let's see where this goes," He says. "And if I say no?" I countered. "Then, I guess we have to walk away from each other. I don't think I will be able to control myself around you if you don't want this," he whispered looking dejected.
Hearing that made my chest hurt a bit. We have been spending a lot of time together for days and I like being with him and seeing him, so the real question is. Can I walk away from him? I shook my head slightly to gather my resolve. He wants to give us a shot, he's not promising me a wedding ring, so maybe, just maybe it won't hurt anything or anyone, right? "Well, I guess we should try then."I was suddenly yanked off from the stool and locked in his arms while he kisses me hungrily as soon as he heard me.
It took a while before he broke the kiss and I didn't mind at all. I like kissing him. He's a very good kisser. My head was spinning the moment his lips left mine and seeing him so happy somehow made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I don't know what made me agree to this, but I can't take it back now. Whatever happens, I'll just deal with it later. This is not something I do or say often, but it's just him. He makes me do things that I don't and can't normally do. Is that such a bad thing? I really don't know.
Basically, after cleaning up the kitchen and having "the talk," We spent the rest of the night with good conversations, fits of laughter, tangled bodies, grinding crotches, greedy hands roaming everywhere, hot kisses, and lots and lots of orgasm. We kept going at each other until we were both too tired to move.
We slept sometime before the sun came up with my back to his front and his arms around me. It was new to me, but weirdly, I felt comfortable. I can maybe get used to that or not. Who knows. A lot of things ran through my mind before sleep took over me but the loudest and the one that really kept coming back was when he said, "Let's give us a shot."