Chapter Twenty Two
I've been working my ass off for the past three months since I got back. I'm still on my "A" game and I always give every drill, warm up, and scrimmage my one hundred and ten percent. I've successfully been keeping my cool whenever Derek my asshole of a coach barked orders at me. It wasn't an easy task to do because I've been running about a million scenarios in my head of how I can murder him and god help me, I really want to murder that piece of trash. It was a day to day thing for me. Thankfully, the rest of the team especially my brother has been doing whatever they can to ease the tension.
Micah always has my back as I have his no matter what. He may annoy me a lot, but we're thick as thieves. Other than our father, he's really the only person whom I completely trust, and right about now, he's feeling the tension I'm carrying all over the place. I've been in this crazy funk for days and I can't quite get my shit together. It doesn't affect the way I play, thank christ for that, but as soon as I step out of the pitch I completely lose my head.
"Do you think you need to get laid or something?" Micha asks the idiot that he is. "Dipping my dick in some random pussy is not going to magically fix things." He's trying to get any kind of reaction from me and pissing me off is what comes to his mind? The fuck! "Maybe it's worth a try?" he shrugs. I turn to him with a do you have a death wish glare. He raised both hands up in mock surrender and turned to walk towards my car. "Is it about Ireland?" Of course, he's not the type who keeps his mouth shut when you need him to, but the little fucker's got my attention now. We haven't been in touch much because we both have our hands full. We're both so busy with things that when the other is free, the other is either in a meeting, asleep, or doing something else. The few times that we get to talk? Priceless! It helps me to keep going for days, but when I don't get to hear her or see her face, my mood changes in the blink of an eye.
"It's just been bat-shit crazy between our schedules. I just miss her and I can't do anything about it which absolutely sucks," I admitted. I was waiting for a jack-ass response from my brother, but there was none. He just stared at me with understanding and concern in his eyes. He may be an asshole most of the time, but he's there for me where it counts. Micah just understood things without really needing more explanation and as much as I hate to admit it, he's cool that way. Sometimes I think he's more centered or grounded compared to me which is why I bust his balls to test his patience most of the time.
Sitting alone in a big ass house after a gruesome day is what I used to look forward to, but since being with Ireland I'm not so sure anymore. We talked for about an hour earlier until I had to say goodbye because I needed a lot of rest tonight. I have a big day ahead tomorrow not to mention the fact that I need to keep my calm because it's going to be the very first press conference I'll be having after a year of hiding. I know that the reporters are going to be ruthless and they'll be asking me a shit ton of questions about my personal life especially the things that happened between me, my coach, and my ex-fiance who now happens to be his girlfriend.
Not that they don't really know or haven't known, but reporters tend to gravitate around your garbage because they find it entertaining and they feed off of other people's misery. What scares me the most is if for some reason this interview reaches Ireland and everything becomes a pure mess, I wouldn't know how to unfuck this. I haven't told her anything because there was just not a good time and also I'm afraid of freaking her out. It was bad, the whole thing was just bad and I wish I can blame it on the humiliation I had to face that resulted to the circus show, but the truth is, I blacked out and lost control.
Maybe I'm overthinking or being paranoid about tomorrow, but I just think that it's going to be hell. Hell because I won't have my teammates with me up on stage and they normally deflect questions that are too tough for me to answer. Hell because they're going to be pulling a lot of bullshit to get a reaction and I might not be able to keep my cool. Hell because what if Ireland sees this and things change between us. I don't want her to look at me differently. Hell because I'm absolutely frustrated, aggravated, powerless, and being thrown to the wolves.
I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, but I just know that it's going to knock the wind off my sail a bit and I won't be able to do anything but to endure through it. I tossed and turned for a good number of hours before I succumbed to sleep. God, I wish Ireland's with me right now. I would give anything to have her in my arms and wake up to her in the morning. If only there was a way we can be in the same country doing what we both love to do while being together for real.