Why was he here, what does he want again. He made it pretty clear that he doesn't want anything to do with me by cheating on me. And still had the courage to show up at my house.
"WTF do you want here" I asked
"Lani, I'm not here to apologize to you or anything, but I'm really sorry you had to find out that way" "i never really felt loved with you, we dated for 4 months and I don't even know what your room looks like! You are always so guarded up, we've never kissed for more than 2 minutes. We were the ideal couple in public but never in private, you never check up on me and I always come after everything and everyone. I could've sent you a text but I just wanted to see your face while saying all these" he paused "and then sometimes I just imagine if you really love me or you're just being selfish, Kehlani, you're fine as hell, but I really don't think any of this is working out well for us"
"Jace, I really don't know what you expect me to say to all of that. To be honest, it seems like you've got it all figured out! I'm done. Have a good life" I retorted
"Can we be friends?" He asks
"Yeah sure, I'd give you a phone call when I wanna play pingpong, which you know I never play....so bye. And have a good life once again!"
As soon as I entered the house, I slammed the door and went straight to my room, locked the door,went to the bathroom and locked that as well.
My mind was spiralling, I was angry, livid and at the same time, I was also extremely sad. This hard expressions and rude nature is all facade. A dumb cover up and it's killing me, sometimes I just want to lock myself up in my room And cry my eyes out. But you really can't let these demons have their way. I straightened up and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Then I put off my clothes ,cleaned the stained mascara on my face and under my eyes, BARE, just how the like it! Paedophiles, scumbags!
I looked at my scars and they felt as fresh as ever! Like my wounds reopened and memories came flooding "make it stop!" I heard the little me scream. "Please, stop! Don't hurt me!" She pleaded and pleaded until she lost the energy to scream for help!
"After I'm done torturing you, I'd fuck you till you 'mummy' hears you scream" he said slap after slap, she was only fourteen!
"Stop hurting her, you scumbag!" I tried to shout at him But they couldn't hear. "Leave her alone!" I scream one more time. My voice shaking, blood boiling! "You're hurting her, STOP IT!!!
"KEHLANI!!!, WAKE UP BABYYY!!" My father voice interrupts me
I opened my eyes, I looked around me and see my twin brother, my best friend, father and my mother surround me. I was curled up on the toilet floor with a towel drapped round my body, shaking and crying. Oh no I had a panic attack again. I thought the therapist said I was fine!
"Baby, talk to me, what was it? Him again?" Mum asks and I just nod
I caught a glimpse of someone outside my toilet. Omg, it's Cameroon! What's he doing here? Killian followed my eyes and saw what I was staring at
"Oh sorry about that, he came over to study, we were chatting when we heard you scream? If you want him to leave, or you're not comfortable, just say it,I'll pass on the word." I waved it off. I tried standing up and my dad assisted me to my bedroom, as soon as I lay on the bed, I doze off.
I woke up to the smell of a strange cologne. As I opened my eyes, I saw Cameroon sitting at the edge of my bed and immediately close them back. I tried turning around pretending to be asleep so I could turn my back to him and he won't see me.
"I know you're awake, K. How are you feeling now." He says
"What are you doing in my room?"
"Killian dropped Camilla off, and your mum and dad went to get ice cream and gummy bears at the store, saying it'll make you feel better or so....so No one wanted to leave you alone by yourself and I volunteered to stay and watch you, but if you want me to leave, I'd leave immediately"
"No, it's fine. Thank you so much" I tried to smile.
"We're home!!! Baby are you up yet? My mother says
"Yeah she is" he answers for me
"I guess I should leave now, I'd see you tomorrow. Take care of yourself."
After dinner, I freshened up and lay on my chest, I could still smell his cologne. Why do guys use cologne like they want to choke people they walk past, ugh. As I was thinking about cologne and boys, I dozed off.
So kehlani has a dark past ,uhn?