1: Miss you like crazy
Four months later.
I wake up to the sun coming in through the massive window, bouncing off the floorboards and filling the room with light. I instantly kick myself for not closing the curtians this morning when I stumbled in at the odd hours of three in the morning. When I climbed into bed after my shower it was already three thirty and Lucas was dead to the world. I spent a good ten minutes taking him in and smiling to myself like a complete idiot. He didn't even flinch when I traced my fingers down the side of his face. I turned over and dosed off to his soft snores like I had been for the past four months. I wake up at six in the morning with less than three hours of sleep because of my stupidity. Lucas is still dead to the world, he wraps his arms around my body tighter as I shift in his hold and turn to my side to face him. He looks so peaceful in his sleep, his hair is fanned out on the soft white pillows and his lips are slightly ajar as soft snores leave his mouth. I bring my index finger between us and trace a line from one freckle to the other over the bridge of his nose and he tries to shake off my touch. I hold back my laughter as I trace another line and this time his eyes flutter open and his magnificent hazel brown orbs come into view. Those eyes are surrounded by long and dark lashes with freckles dusted on his cheekbones and nose.
"Madison, I'm trying to sleep." He mumbles out in his raspy morning voice and he closes his eyes once again, shielding those outstanding orbs.
"I wish I found out earlier that you weren't a morning person, I would have stayed back at Dean's." I tease and his fingers graze my waist before he slips his hand under my t-shirt and his touch ignites a flame in me that I never knew existed.
"Go back to sleep." He mumbles as he removes his touch from me completely and turns his naked back to me. I smile to myself as my fingers graze his bare back and he squirms under my touch.
"I want sleepy morning sex." I whisper against his shoulder before placing a kiss against his soft skin.
"I wish I found out earlier that you were such a sex addict, I would have allowed you to continue living with Dean." He teases and I see the smile on his face without even looking at him.
"Please?" I don't have to beg when it comes to him, he wants me as much as I want him. Sleepy or not, this man will find the energy for sex. It's not long before he slowly turns around and places a kiss against my lips and I run my fingers through his hair as he moans against my mouth. Within minutes, I am naked and he is on top of me without hesitation and we are lost in each other for the rest of the morning.
"Lucas." I yell from the kitchen, our kitchen, at three in the afternoon. He hasn't left our room since this morning and I find it insane how a person can sleep for an entire night and nearly half the day. Something at the back of my mind tells me that he doesn't want to help me bake for the dinner tonight. Not only is he lazy, he is also incredibly good at pretending that he is asleep. It's ridiculous how you think you know a person when in reality you're still learning the little things about them which make them who they are. It's like I learn something new everyday with him. Yesterday, I learnt that he would rather mop the floors all day than do dishes and that explains the expensive dishwasher in the kitchen. He would rather have fast food for dinner than cook and God forbid you ask him to do something for you while he is watching football. "I need to go to Dean's place. I've got to grab some old textbooks." I yell out again, just as he strides into the kitchen in a pair of black sweatpants and a white t-shirt. His hair is pulled back and he smells of body wash and shampoo.
"I'll take you." He says with a smile as he slips his wrist through the silver band of his watch and clicks it into place. Another fun fact about Lucas Parker, he owns only two ties but has an entire drawer of expensive watches which I am not even allowed to touch. If I look at them for too long he gets all defensive and kicks me out of his room.
"No." The word comes out too fast and I know he has caught onto it. I don't want him walking into Dean's apartment with me. The last time I walked in there a few weeks ago, him and Chanel were practically having sex on the kitchen counter. He doesn't know about his sister and my best friend and I don't want him to find out. He gets so protective over his watches, imagine what would happen when he finds out about Dean and Chanel. "I'll be back in an hour. I need to speak to him about something." I try to cover up my sketchy behaviour, but he doesn't buy it as he gives me a curious look.
"I'm coming with you. I need to speak to Dean." He says in a dismissive tone and I know that tone, there isn't any arguing with him when he uses that tone. Sometimes I just want to pull out all his hair and yell at him, that's how much I hate it when he doesn't listen to me.
"Call him." I say as I grab my keys off the counter and he gives me his best glare.
"Madison." One word, and just like that he wins and before I know it he is driving my car to Dean's place.
I push open the door to Dean's apartment and pray to God that Dean isn't running around naked with Chanel. I pull they keys out of the keyhole and let out a breath when I see that the kitchen and livingroom is empty. The big black trolley bag is what catches my attention, it stands against the counter with another backpack over it. "Dean." I call out as Lucas shuts the door behind me.
I don't hear anything for a while, no response, that's until I hear his hurried footsteps come down the hall and he comes into view. He is wearing a pair of blue jeans and a black sweater, his hair is pushed back and his eyes are red. At first I assume he is tired or high, that's until I see his tear stained cheeks and he gives me a wide eyed look. "Madison, what are you guys doing here?" He clears his throat and tries to offer us a smile.
"What's going on?" I mumble and he quickly looks away from me. My eyes drift to the bags and back to him, but his eyes still aren't on me. Dean only doesn't look me in the eyes when he is hiding something from me. "Dean." I softly say and I can tell that he is trying his hardest to hold back a sob. "Where are you going?" I press the question and Lucas stands behind me silently.
"I'm going to Iraq, Lawson is going and asked me if I was interested. I thought it would be a cool experience." He nonchalantly answers. He's icy cold Dean Andrews, not the normal Dean I am used to. Something is wrong, I can feel it all around in the atmosphere. I know him better than I know most people and myself.
"When are you leaving?" Something tells me that I already know the answer to that question, he is leaving now. Lawson was scheduled to leave tonight, Peterson mentioned it to me.
"Tonight." He confirms my suspicions as his glassy green eyes meet mine.
"Why? Why are you leaving? Sadie is going to have the baby in a few weeks and you have to be there. You can't just leave, you can't just leave me." I choke out and he throws me his best glare. A glare I've recieved once from him which resulted in us not speaking to each other for days.
"This isn't about you Madsion. Not everything is about you. There's no fucking baby, she aborted it and lied about it. There's nothing left here for me." His booming voice pierces through the silence of the room and Lucas takes a step forward in front of me and I grip his elbow to stop him. He is protective over me and Dean knows better than to yell at me in front of him, he won't hesitate to say or do something. "I'm going and you're not stopping me Madison, you have your own life to live and I have mine. This is my decision." Something else is going on, something much deeper than Sadie and the baby and he isn't telling me what it is.
"You were going to leave without saying goodbye?" The hurt is unstoppable as it floods through me when I think about the fact that he was just going to disappear and not say a word.
"Yes, you have your engagement dinner and I didn't want to worry you with my problems." He says in a much calmer voice and I let go of Lucas' elbow as I step in front of him and walk over to Dean. He stands completely still as I draw closer to him and place my hand against his cheek.
"Your problems are mine. You're my brother, your problems will always be mine. If you leave now you will break my heart Dean." I whisper as a tear rolls down his cheek and falls onto my hand.
"Don't make it harder than it already is." He holds back a sob and I wrap my arms around him as I pull him into a hug. "Take care of yourself, don't allow him to change you. Don't get married without me there and always put your career before him. He is good for you but don't allow him to drift you away from the plan." He says as his hands wrap around me and he pulls me to him. "I will be back, maybe not next week or next month but I will be back." I cry against his shoulder as he speaks and he slowly pulls back and grabs my face in his palms. "I love you. Don't cry, you will make this much harder than it already is." He wipes away the tears but more keep streaming down my face. I wish I had known about his plan to leave, maybe it would have been easier than him telling me a few hours before he leaves.
He pulls away from me completely and walks over to Lucas. "If you hurt her I will kill you. She's been through enough, take care of her. Make sure she smiles more and cries less, it will kill me to know that she's upset." He says and Lucas gives him a wary look. "You're a good man, don't elope with her. I want a wedding when I get back." Lucas pulls him into a hug and says something to him, I can't hear it over the crying coming from me. I can barely even think straight right now, Dean is leaving and he wasn't even going to say goodbye. I've worked with him for nearly a year now and I don't want to imagine what it's going to be like when he is gone.
"At least let us drop you off at the airport." I say as Dean reaches for his bags and he turns around to offer me a smile. Lucas' arm is wrapped firmly around my shoulder and Dean shakes his head.
"I don't want to make it harder. Leaving like this with you crying is hard enough." He mumbles out and I wipe away another stay tear. "Come here." He says as he puts his bag back down and holds out his hands.
I walk over to him and wrap my arms around him as he does the same. I try not to cry in his hold because I know how much he hates it. "Come back to me in one piece Dean Andrews." I whisper and his hold around me tightens. I don't know what it will be like being a doctor in the middle of a war, but I can't imagine it's sunshine and roses.
"I'm going to miss you like crazy." He whispers against the side of my head before he pulls back and gives me a look that pierces right through my heart. He leans in and places a kiss against my forehead and I close my eyes and try to come to terms with everything.
"Take care of each other." He says as he reaches for his bags and offers us both a sad smile. Lucas walks over to me and wraps his arms around me as Dean pulls open the door and we watch him disappear. Just like that Dean Andrews was gone and it will take an entire year for him to come back home. Three hundred and sixty five days without him, two calls per a month and three handwritten notes from him that entire time. Most of the time we all worried more about his safety than we had ours. That was one of the biggest mistakes we made in that year, because what was to come in the days after that followed was far worse than what we were expecting.