divided union

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chapter 14

Today was the day we were to do what most if not all married couples do, we were going to consummate our marriage, I felt insecure and I was anxious, half of me hoped that he would be disgusted by my scars and run away, the other half hoped he wouldn't, I couldn't undergo the embarrassment.

I dressed up in one of the sexy silk nightwears my mother bought for me, it was black and had lace in some places, I felt more exposed than I would let my mind think of, he should just come (literally) and let this be over as soon as it began. I turned off my light, the first time in a long time, I didn't want the embarrassment, I didn't want him to see the discomfort, I told him I was not a virgin but it would still hurt.

The moonlight shone through the window into the room as I anticipated Tyler's arrival. Any minute now, fight the urge to jump out your window.

I heard a knock on my room door, "Siobhan"

"Come in" I whispered and he did, I was barely able to see him, but his silhouette was there

"Why is your room dark"

"So if I make any sounds or faces that showed I was aroused you wouldn't think it was because I liked you in any way"

"Okay?" he said confused and walked toward me, I heard a loud thud "Fuck!!! must we keep all lights off at least turn on your bedside lamp"

"By all means, all lights must be turned off" Tyler made his way toward me and stood still, had he never done this before, kiss my neck or something you bastard.

"Tyler held my cheek and placed a kiss on my lips before he could go on I pushed him away

"What are you doing?"

"I am making love to you," he said, he sounded a bit bewildered at the outright rejection

"No, I thought you were just going to fuck me and get me pregnant, don't kiss me just do it already," I said

"Okay" he whispered huskily and carried me with an easy lift and put my back against the bed, I was too scared to do anything. I just laid there like a broomstick.


She didn't even want me to love her, she pushed me away and that hurt my ego, no one pushes me away. I had half a mind to yell out in frustration, she was so damn difficult and rigid like a wall that surrounded a city. I laid her back and on the bed, hoping she would change her mind, I enjoyed finding the turn-ons of women before I fucked them into oblivion but she wasn't having it, she wanted to go straight to the 'fucking' part.

I kissed down her neck slowly, enjoying the taste of her. I purposely put my lips dangerously close to the scar there, and when she didn't say anything I continued kissing around it.

"Stop kissing me" seriously


"Because I said no before and rape is bad, I only asked for sex, kissing is not included" I can't believe her, this was a demon that was the only possible explanation


"You are indirectly raping me, I don't like it," she said

"Take off your clothes" she wanted to get over with it, I'm down


"You heard me" I got off her and waited for her to undress, she sat up and slowly pulled her clothes off, I could see just a whisper of her milky skin and I saw a glimpse of her nipple, she laid back down and I balanced over her again. I stroked my hand down over her bare hip, her skin was warm and smooth, I wanted to touch every part of her, her lips, her fingertips, her hair. I wonder if her hair was undone how I liked it, I had only seen her in a ponytail a few times and that was it, I also wonder if I reached up and stroked her hair what she would do. Nope, I would probably impale her eye. I moved my hand aiming for her center.

My fingers brushed over her silky folds trying to get her wet and I SHIVERED she was warm and slightly moist, she stayed still *sniff*. I want to scream and just ugh I hate this marriage why'd I agree in the first place. I went down on her and I flicked at her clit with my tongue, (hello are you working at all?). hoping to get her to do something. I got her to do something alright she sniffed as in SHE WAS FUCKING CRYING. I stopped in my tracks.

"Are you crying?"

"No" I reached over her and turned on the lamp

"Oh my God, you are fucking crying, why are you crying" the universe has a glitch in its system, I knew no woman that cried during sex without penetration at least. She got up and stormed out of the room with her clothes. I leaped off the bed and followed her out of the room


"What? I am sorry I can't do it"

"You told me you weren't a virgin are you lying to me?"


"Tell me what's wrong with you"

"If you can't put two and two together by yourself maybe your father should take his business back"

“What are you thinking about” she nudged him

“Stop that”

“What... this” she nudged him again she stormed out of the house, yes NAKED. I was so confused and MAD, I was angry, why didn't uncle Marco tell me anything, and her too she can easily avoid everything by telling me what the fuck was wrong with her, why she had scars why she was insecure. I stormed up the glass stairs carefully. WHY SHOULD I ALWAYS BE THE ONE TO BEG.

I grabbed my phone and dialed uncle Marco's number"


"Who the actual fuck did you give me to marry!!!"

"I don't understand"

"I am very mad, your daughter is making me very angry"

"Calm down, don't do anything irrational tell me what's wrong"

"Siobhan, that's what's wrong she is being a bitch and I am sick of her attitude"

"Tyler, relax Siobhan just needs some breaking into okay, soon enough you would be used to her and the sleepless nights won't be as unbearable"

"I tried to sleep with her"

"Did you force her"

"No, she just said let us get it over with and she started crying"

"What" I could tell he wanted to laugh

"Is she a virgin"

"How am I supposed to know if she is a virgin or not for all I know she could have been sleeping with Brian behind my back, where is she now?"

"Outside, naked on the beach"

"Naked? that sounds highly unlike her, just tell her to come inside okay, goodnight good luck and don't involve me in your sexual endeavors again"

"Wait though"


"Thanks for the five hundred K you sent me for no reason"

"Yeah sure, good night son"

"Good night" I cut the call and looked through the glass at Siobhan, she was sitting all by herself.

"Who hurt you?" I whispered.


I tossed and turned all night on Siobhan's bed, she wasn't back yet or she was but she went to another room. I got out of bed and went to the window. she was still there. I jogged down and went outside, she was asleep soundly breathing normally. I picked her up and brought her into the house. She was freezing like crazy, I dropped her on my bed and laid beside her then CUDDLED her just so she won't catch a cold.


Morning came slower than I expected, Siobhan didn't sleep one wink throughout the night when I woke in the middle of the night to pee he was spooning me, I kept trying to recall earlier events and was pleased when I figured that we didn't have sex.

I went out to sit on the beach, watching the sky till morning, Tyler sat down next to me.

"Hey" I ignored him and looked forward "I am talking to you" I looked at him and squinted to avoid the wind from entering my eyes

"I know you are talking to me, what do you want?"

"You were crying last night, you wanna talk" I didn't read about this side to Tyler, he actually cared about people, or maybe I was so used to hostility I couldn't hear the inside ones.


"I know you have scars, Siobhan, I saw the one on your stomach the other day"

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"I know you do, don't lie to me" I got up, well there goes my perfectly peaceful morning. I stormed into the house and he followed me "Why are you shutting me out?"

"Oh please, stop acting as if you care, you are so fake. I know your plot you want me to warm up to you so you can slip under my covers naked every other day"

"Even if that's my plan why don't you just live in the moment"

"I refuse to live in the moment, I like thinking about the future before the moment" I put an air quote in 'live in the moment.

I walked up the stairs and went to have a hot bath, tears streamed down my face, my heartfelt bitter, I was upset. I screamed into the water pouring on my face to get my frustration out.

“Siobhan are you alright in there?" Tyler pounded on the bathroom door

“I'm fine,” I replied

"I heard you screaming," he said

"I said I am fine"

“Are you sure” his voice was filled with concern, I ignored his question “when you are done come down for breakfast okay” I ignored him again “okay?”

“I heard you”

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