divided union

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chapter 48

TYLER’S POV

Everyone wants to ride with me, they want to make sure I stay alive so they can pummel me to death, they want me to feel it. My mum’s there too she says I would want to overdose and kill myself, I was going to do that, OD and crash make sure to stay alive so the medicine can slowly kill me.

“You stay there” Sidney hissed at me

“No, I want to come” I walk past her and enter the doctor’s office with my godfather. I don’t think he would want that after I literally killed Siobhan. I warn my cousin that now is not a good time to joke around with prescriptions concerned with family, but I just requested another doctor all the same.

“There is good news” he started saying

“Really!”

“Siobhan isn’t dead, and there is some bad news and worse news”

“Bad news?” Uncle Marco said

“She is in a coma”

“Worse news” he whispered

“She may never wake up and we would have to put her out of her misery by removing her life support,”

“Isn’t there anything you can do?” I asked

“We’ve done all we can sir”

“Well try harder, anything I’ll pay anything for her” Uncle Marco said

“I’ll pay anything”

“Sorry there is absolutely nothing we can do”

I pushed my hand through my hair, uncle Marco flashed me a look. I want to care, but I don’t he could start strangling me if he wanted to, I am just standing there, I think I am frozen.

“Can I see her? I whispered

“No way in fucking hell ”

“There is no need to cuss. Are you family?”

“Yes,” The doctor stood up and walked us out of the office.

“What did the doctor say, is she fine?” Everyone asked

“She is in a coma”

“A coma... you little...”

“Insulting Tyler won’t help, it might make her a little offended,” Marco said.

“We are going to see her now,” he led us to her room.

“I mean he has no business seeing her,” Vincent said.

“Vince...”

I entered the room after Sidney “Baby?” I walked to her bedside and examined her waiting for her to wake up “baby, say something, I’m here please,” nothing; I held her hand, it was cold and pale like she was already dead then looked at her pale lips, the bandages on her head were already soaking with blood and there was no more rosy color in her cheek she was just there not blabbing her mouth like she usually did. She had a cut almost everywhere.

“I love you and if you don’t wake up I am going to kill myself I swear, do you hear me, if you don’t wake up I am going to shoot a bullet into my skull. You’ve made me fall head over heels in love with you in just a few months and I can’t live without you, you can’t make me fall and leave me, come on, please wake up” I put his head on her bed waiting for her answer, a tear fell down my cheek.

“Tyler,” I just released more tears as I looked at my godfather, he held my shoulder and slightly squeezed it “tell me what happened,”

“I thought she was going to you, to end the marriage, I did, I didn’t know she tried to kill herself”

“Siobhan could never try to kill herself, not even when it happened ten years ago, it’s Siobhan. Siobhan is a strong person” I looked at her, yeah she is a strong person “why did she want to end the marriage”

“She thinks I’m obsessed with Eliza, I’m not. I don’t think I am,”

“It’s alright,” he patted my back, he had trouble saying that, I could feel it

********************************

I am currently lying in bed, I don’t think I can move my limbs. I’m stuck in my room.

“Tyler?” my sister whispered “Tyler” I turn on my side and used the blanket to cover my face “Tyler, wake up” she tapped me “Tyler, breakfast”

“I can eat breakfast on the table,”

“The last time you tried stabbing yourself with a table knife,”

“No, I didn’t,”

“Yes you did, just sit up,” I did as she said, “are you alright?”

“No, but I’m not hungry,”

“Tyler you need to shower and handle your beard,”

“My beard is fine,” she adjusted her glasses.

“No it’s overgrown, and you need to eat and sleep,”

“I do those things,”

“No, you look like a raccoon,”

“Raccoons are cute,”

“You look like an ugly one,” she said and raised a glass of juice to my mouth.

“I said I am not hungry Veronica,”

“You are killing yourself,”

“Fine,”

“No, not fine, you can’t be killing yourself, she would wake up soon and find you dead,”

“It’s been a month, Veronica,”

“Have faith, ugh you are so annoying...” she dropped the tray by my bedside, “Dad said he wants to see you, shaved and looking like a human being, you are letting your company go to ruins,” Veronica stormed out of the room and locked the door.

*******************************

“I said I wanted to see you shaved,”

“You are lucky you are seeing me at all,”

“Tyler, your Godfather said that he is scared for you,”

“Why?”

“Because you don’t eat and you don’t take care of yourself”

“We talked about it yesterday,”

“You are going to have to start seeing professional help”

“I would be fine when Siobhan wakes up”

“That... that would be long after you are done killing yourself. So if you don’t want to be dead when she wakes up, start being normal, you being depressed is the worst thing in this world, it’s not what she needs”

“I am not depressed”

“Sorry to say, you are making us care more about you than the half-dead person in the hospital” am I, then I have to stop this don’t I, I don’t deserve anyone’s compassion and pity.

****************************

“Siobhan hey” I held her hand “It’s Tyler, you know that time I told you that you owe me for letting you see Brian? well now, I have come to tell you that if you wake up you would be out of debt... that’s a really stupid thing for me to say. But if you wake up, you will never have to hear that word again, I will forget her... I’ve been promising this a lot, but this time I’m serious, like really serious” I looked at her “I will take you everywhere you want to go, and we will have about four children and live anywhere you want to live, We would have a beautiful family, and you will never have to cry because of me again” I used her finger to stroke my ring “I love you, and I am sorry for doing this to you, you can teach me a lesson in another way, you can still want a divorce and go your way okay, I just want to know you are alive and well okay, I love you,”

********************************

“I have a big surprise for you and you will love it, I brought you flowers, the red ones. I didn’t want to be cliche but I just had to buy you the most expensive and the biggest bouquet of red roses, I bought you ice cream too, it’s in the refrigerator, the one from Paris and I will keep buying it until you wake up, then I bought skittles too. Gwen hit me many times, and she can throw a good punch, Catalina sends her well wishes she also insulted me and Brian almost beheaded me, you may not have many friends but the ones you have are the best and they really miss you... I miss seeing your eyes and I miss your smile and the clueless look you have on your face when I’m staring at you, it’s because I love you and I have for a long time, I didn’t know how to say it until that night when I almost killed you with snails... I can’t imagine living without you, what would I do when I get back from work, would I ever eat lunch again, my Saturday would be very boring because you won’t read me a book, and my Sundays would be the worst because you won’t be there to cuddle and you know how much I love cuddling and invading people’s personal space... I found Larry he isn’t that hurt, but he is kinda dirty, so I have to wash it... him, then bring him here to you, I wonder what he was doing in your car” her pinky moved under my touch and I immediately wrapped my finger with it “if you can hear me, I want to kiss you, I love you okay, I really do and I would do anything for you, scold her for you, tell you I love you till the sun goes down and buy all rights of my beach house so no one would crash unwantedly, I would even sell it and buy another, just so we can have our own, I really do talk too much, I love you baby”

********************************

Three months later

“Tyler you can’t drive,” my mother said and collected the car key from me

“I can, I have my driver’s license,” Veronica pushed me into the passenger seat and put my seatbelt on,” we are going to my house to clean it up, I haven’t been there in months and it is probably vermin-infested, “I am not going to try to kill us,”

“Right,” my mother said.

****************************

“Son you have to go home and take a shower,” Marco said and stroked Siobhan’s hair.

“No, I have to be here for her,”

“It’s an order you haven’t slept in months,”

“I do sleep,”

“For an hour or two”

“And I am fine”

“No you are not you are writing a suicide note for yourself, when was the last time you ate,”

“Like yesterday,”

“You are going to stay at my house and you are going to eat and you are going to sleep do you understand me,” I looked at her “she wouldn’t want you to do this don’t you want to be healthy for her when she wakes up,” I looked down “then you have to relax and rest,” what if she doesn’t wake up? my life would be over.

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