How do we learn to disguise the pain and hurt? Do we run away from the truth or bury our feelings six feet under the ground? Why has no one come up with a formula for broken hearts? First, the bastard breaks your heart, and then he drives you to chocolate, ice cream, and tears. For a moment chocolate eases your broken heart until your pants don't fit anymore. Now, your heartbroken because he caused you to pick up weight. Life was unfair so what was the point?
Cry, scream and bury yourself between buckets of ice cream and mountains of chocolate but once you get up, you don't go back. You shut the back door, lock it up, and throw away the key because we are not going that way. It's time for self-love and what you want is important. He had his chance, misused it and now it is over forever.
You loved him, gave him your everything and he was the selfish one. You gave him three chances more than he deserved and he didn't deserve you. You always lied and covered for him to make you feel better because you were afraid of what people would think of him.
I was eighteen-years-old when I met Eddy, he was twenty-two-years old at that time. I was a young and lustful even when I was still a virgin. He seemed nice and awkward at first. We were at my best friend's 18th party when we met. That time he wanted one of my friends and tried everything to get her attention only she wasn't interested. So, that left me. I was single and he was the first boy who really talked to me.
I gave him a chance even I wasn't really interested but I wanted to know what it would feel like to have someone I called my boyfriend. I fell to fast and before I could stop myself I fell in love with him. From the beginning I should have known that he wasn't the one but how do you convince your heart?
The first time I caught him cheating on me was during our first holiday together. I was twenty-years-old by then. I found his phone while he was outside and something in me told me to unlock his phone and check his messages. (Even when I wasn't that kind of person.) I tried to convince myself that it was stupid of me and that I won't find anything. But there it was, the evidence of him cheating on me with his best friend Roxy who was married. They have been going at it for over six months. He even promised her that he would break things off with me so he can be with her.
My body turned cold even when I was enraged, my breath hitched as I tried to keep in the tears, my hands trembled and it felt as if the world crumbled underneath my feet. I confronted him and he tried to play it cool pretending that he didn't understand. I wanted to run but he didn't let me. Instead, I was pathetic and listened to his explanation where he promised me that he would end things with her but it never happened.
He continued to lie to me and a few months later she announced that she was pregnant with his child. Her way of driving an ax between us. A few weeks later on the truth somehow set itself free, she was never pregnant with his child. She wasn't pregnant at all, to begin with. It was her way of driving us apart only we didn't let it happen.
I stayed with him even when my brain told me to go, I was afraid to be alone again. We have been together for just over five years and I kept on convincing myself that I can't let that go to waste. It meant everything to me to fix us, I became desperate for his love and attention. I falsely accused him of having affairs with girls at his work and from that moment on I felt insecure.
Only I was right and that he was having an affair again even when we were on the edge of getting married and buying a house. That was the last straw, my heart couldn't take the pain any longer. I was the one who got humiliated every time. His word meant nothing to me anymore.
I moved out, sold his engagement ring, and moved in with my best friend Amy who stood by my side with every good or bad day. And as if lives twisted ways haven't done enough, I lost my chance at UFC. After my break up with Eddy, I fully committed working out and getting fights my coach Tony arranged. The fight that would have opened doors for me to UFC closed that night as I was taken into a submissive hold by my opponent where she broke my ankle by mistake. I should have stopped fighting but to make a point I continued fighting and it caused me to shatter my ankle. I was out for good.
Suddenly it felt like the whole world was against me. Love didn't exist. Happiness is only temporary and destiny is only a word.
I was eight years old when I pursued the career of MMA. I worked harder than any other fighter, won 9/10 fights and my name suddenly became famous. I became known. But to only crash and burn in the end. The doors to MMA finally shut on me and no amount of doctors could convince me otherwise. I might have had multiple surgeries to fix my shattered ankle and years for it to heal. But the fear of getting it shattered or broken again haunted me whenever I was back in the cage.
When I was finally back on my feet, I pursued my hobby and became a well-known Pastry chef. I worked under one of the best chefs in the world and after a few years, I got the opportunity to open my own Patisserie. I wasn't happy like I used to be but I was still alive and had a few dreams in me left.
A new name made it to UFC during my time of working at fine dining restaurants. His name was Ryder Cane, the world judged him incorrectly with his first appearance in the MMA. But now he is crowned as the heavyweight champ for three years running and counting. The world roared when they found themselves a new king.
The girls found themselves something new to obsess over. He was their eye candy and one would expect of him as a world-renown fighter to hang out at the coolest parties with models dangling from his arms but he was different. No scandals were found of him, he looked like the true kind of guy who knew what he wanted and that was to be the best.
He was handsome, rugged, broad shoulders, and stood at least 6.2inches. He had arms as big as my upper thighs and a face not easy to forget. He was not to be called a model as he was a rugged man. Strong and powerful.
And I was his biggest fan not because of his good looks but because of what he could do inside the cage. I saw a fighter not some obnoxious, fake ass boy. Some called him beautiful and some called him handsome.
The sports channel called him a warrior.