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It’s been a week sense the night I almost kissed Alex and had that nightmare. The nightmare’s haven’t stopped and I don’t wake up screaming anymore, just cold sweat. I have gone back to sleeping in the same room with Lee. Daniel moved into Lilly’s room after there date. Alex still throws a threatening glare at him every now and again but I think he secretly likes him.

Alex and I haven’t talked about the almost kiss; he barely looks my way. Two weeks ago I would have been cheering, now I feel like I messed up. We would still be talking if I hadn’t tried kissing him, what was I thinking anyway.


I have been so busy trying to keep everything in line for work but all I can think about is her. A week ago she made a move to kiss me and believe me I wanted to kiss her to but I couldn’t do that to her. She was vulnerable and I didn’t want to take advantage of her and she also said awhile back not to kiss her again, even if I did only kiss her on the shoulder.

I’m good with him because he’s my brother and I raised him. I don’t even want to know why the hell your thinking about me being a mother but stop it, and don’t ever, ever kiss me again.” she said walking out of the room.

Now i'm thinking about her being a mother again...Wait.





She still owes me a date

How am I gonna set up a date without her figuring it out. I mean its a little easier now that she doesn't sleep in our room anymore. Our room I still love the sound of that. Who knew that two words can bring a smile to my face so fast. Anyway, getting sidetracked. I have the perfect date idea, just have to text the girls and pack a few bags.


I was laying on the couch cuddled into my brother watching tv with Rose and the twins.

"Ahhhhhhh!?!" Rose screamed

"What the hell Rose!" I yelled

"Let's go, you have to pack! Eek! You are going to have so much fun!"

"Pack? For what, where are we going?" Jake said

"Uh, hold on." she scrunched her eyebrows typing really fast

"Ok, Jake you are staying here with the Twins, Jamie and I." she said really fast looking slightly guilty

"Jake isn't staying anywhere without me. Someone explain. Now." I demanded

"Yeah, I wanna know to." Derrick said

"I can't explain anything. I was given very detailed instructions not to give to much away and Alex would explain a little more after getting home."

"Whatever, who wants reakfast?"

"Nah-ah, you have to go pack, come on."

"You gonna give me actual details, because without those i'm not doing anything but going to cook breakfast. You can tell your highness that as well." I rolled my eyes

"Eggs and bacon!" Lee cheered

"Why you cheering? I didn't even say yes or no?" I laughed

"but-but, please sissy!" he pouted with the puppy dog eyes

"I am tempted to say no just to prove that I hate that face. You look desperate, your lucky it sounds good."

"I'm not desperate!" he said grumpily

"I know, just don't do that face again. Ok?"


"Come on!!! You have to go pack."

"Oh, Says who? I don't see any reason to go pack. Do you, see any reason to go pack? If so, feel free to fill me in. If not then I guess there is so need."

"You know you can be such a bitch sometimes."



Let's go bitch.

Let's go bitch


Let's go bitch

I cant get his voice out of my head. Why, why is his voice in my head? I don't wanna hear him,

"Somhmhmhm hmmmody helhmmmmp"

Who is talking? What are they saying? Is it him, is he alive? Please no. Don't let him be alive.

I feel lightheaded, no dizzy, I feel sleepy.


"You know you can be such a bitch sometimes."

After I said that I immediately wanted to take it back, River froze and started breathing really heavy and started shaking really bad.

"Somebody help her!?" Jake panicked

"Someone call Daniel or Alex or better yet, someone call both!" I yelled

As someone was calling the boys I went over and kneeled next to her on the ground where she fell. Checking her pulse I sighed in relief; a little fast but still there.

"Alex is on his way." Damien said

"What the hell happened!" Alex came in seconds later

"I would like to know the same." Daniel said strangely calm

"I was telling her to go pack and she wanted more information. When I told her you would tell her more when you got here she said she wasn't packing till she knew what she was packing for and went to go make dinner. I followed her and told her she could be a bitch sometimes, then this happened." I rushed out

"You told her what!" Daniel screamed rushing to her

So him being calm earlier was calm before the storm. Got it.

"Why is that a bad thing?" Alex asked

"All of you need to get out. Now." Daniel said


Everyone left of course after fighting about it.

I held her closer and whispered to her trying to get her to calm down.

"Issac isn't here anymore. You're ok. Issac is gone. You are safe."

Slowly after a few more comforting words she stared to come back to her senses.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." she muttered

"You don't have to apologize."

"Where is Jake?"

"Jake!?" I called

"I'm here. Hi sissy." he smiled at his sister

Jake has witnessed her like this before. After her panic attacks she always wants to check on Jake. Before he was always loud and didn't understand what was happening but he soon figured it out.

"I can't stay out there anymore. What is going on?" Alex came bursting through the door

"Dude, calm down. She is fine right now but just stay calm."

"Stay calm? I just got a call that she fainted, what the hell happened?"

"Nothing, I'm fine. Just leave it be please." River looked at Alex

"For now."

"So why was I needed to go pack?" River changed the subject

"I have a plan and we are leaving."


Alex walked upstairs and I went back to making breakfast.

Leaving, how could he think I would just leave with him. Especially since they said Jake wouldn't be coming with me.

"Hey uh, I'm sorry about what I said." Rose said uncomfortable

"Don't apologize. I shouldn't have taken it out on you. You didn't know that was gonna happen." I smiled

"So we're ok?" Rose questioned

"Of course, but if you don't mind; please don't call me the B word."

"Yeah, sorry again. Need any help?"

"That would be great, more hands means faster breakfast."


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