Losing My Mind

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Chapter 12

Ryleigh opened her eyes to view a plain white ceiling and some grey spotlight above with her vision starting to go back to normal, she recognised it’s the lights in the living room. She attempts to recall what happened last night as something doesn’t seem right and looks ahead to see the TV and her left the kitchen. A blanket covering her body and a grey t-shirt that didn’t belong to her on what felt like a sofa bed. Ryleigh peers over to the right to see Rory sleeping beside her with a vest top and jogging bottoms on. She hopes something didn’t happen and she checked her knickers were on but why she’s here and how did she get here? A growling sound evolved in her stomach and began to bubble up giving her the urge to be sick and turns to the side of the sofa bed noticing a bucket already full of vomit. She smelt the odour causing the urge to go. The heaving cry awakened him up, he rubbed circles on her back, feeling him doing it made her look over appearing weak and holding the urge to cry.

‘Thank god you’re ok.’ And lures her into a hug with her leaning on his chest. Not long, she realised herself.

‘What happened? I don’t remember how we got here.’

‘Your drink got spiked and I noticed you started to show unusual habits.’ She glanced at the t-shirt sticking to her body.

‘How I get into these clothes?’

‘Ester and I brought you back with the paramedics checking you over, Kelsie came by too. We couldn’t find your PJ’s, so I got a spare shirt and the girls changed you. ’

‘Why couldn’t I sleep in my bed?’

‘Because you were throwing up and started to have panic attacks. So I stayed with you until you fell asleep.’ His generosity towards her caused him to be more attractive and wouldn’t know how to repay him for it.

‘You didn’t have to do that.’ She lies back down.

‘I’ve been on it before and I know how crazy it makes ya.’ He lies back down beside her, ‘I got so worried.’ And draws her in for another hug having the urge to hold her. She can hear his heartbeat beating fast, everything shifted when she wasn’t herself and it scared him how she reacted to the drugs.

‘I need the loo.’ As much as she desired to stay, she moved off the bed but didn’t have enough grasp standing up and began to fall, Rory sprang up to catch her.

‘Careful, I’ll take you.’ He holds her near the waist and she has one arm draping over his neck.

After taking her, he makes her rest back on the sofa bed and grabs some water. Rory sits on the edge of the bed.

‘How long would it take to leave my system?’ She asks him.

‘Hopefully a day.’

‘I can’t take a break! I need to work on my song.’ She tried to get up again but he grabs her hand.

‘No, you need to rest.’

‘I do feel fine. Once I take a shower and eat.’

‘You think you are but you aren’t. Trust me.’ His strong grip on her hand attempting her to stay put and didn’t fight.

‘Thank you, I don’t know how I can repay you.’

‘Don’t. You being here safe and well is all that matters to me now.’ She smiles at him and wipes her head from the sweat that’s dripping off her. She watched Rory go into the kitchen to get a cloth and runs it under the tap, he comes back and places it on her forehead.

‘That feels so much better.’ Ryleigh sighs sensing the cool breeze on her face becoming more relaxed. She gazes into his eyes and her heart is racing, he seeks to focus on making her cool down and moves her hair back and places the cloth one side of her neck. The coldness causes her shiver as it hits hard on her skin.

‘How is she? Ryleigh you ok?’ Kelsie bursts in with a concern, Rory separates the cloth from her and takes a step back.

‘I think I am.’

‘Oh thank god. I’m going to get the Paramedic to check you over, but I have a feeling you’ll need to rest today.’

‘Don’t I have to go to my singing lessons today?’

‘No, I’ve switched it around with another group, you’ll be going tomorrow with your team. Just rest for now I’ll be back.’ Kelsie leaves to call them.

‘Sorry I made you miss your lesson today.’ Ryleigh felt guilty making the team have to wait for her, he shrugs.

‘It’s fine they’ll understand. Plus, it gives us more time to think about our song.’

‘Well, don’t feel like you’ll have to look after me today. Do what you got to do.’

‘My priority is you.’ He smirks and she does too.

The paramedics examined her over and believe she’ll recover by tomorrow and told her to rest too. After they left, Kelsie sat next to her with the producers asking some questions. Rory stood in the kitchen preparing some tea and toast for her.

‘I’m going to ask you some questions and I need you to be honest.’ She asked and Ryleigh nodded. ‘Did you take the drugs intentionally?’

‘No, my drink must’ve been spiked.’

‘Did you buy your drink?’

‘The first one I did, then Blake did a round and then Rory got me one.’

‘Rory? Did have anything to do with this?’ The producer converts to him.

‘No! I never want to do that to anyone, not even Ryleigh.’ He got defensive, they assume it’s because of his previous use of drugs. ‘I’m 4 years clean.’ Rory sat on the sofa close to the bed passing her a cup of tea.

‘I’m only asking.’ The producer said.

‘It could’ve been the drink you got her because she started to act weird instantly, it takes about 20 minutes for it to hit the system.’ Kelsie concluded. ‘We need to speak to Blake and see what happened.’ Rory didn’t want to show his emotions, but he had a gut feeling it might’ve been Blake. He did inquire where he could get hold of some and declined to answer, his teeth started to clench thinking he could hurt Ryleigh, another scheme to get into bed with her.

‘You alright?’ Ryleigh quizzes him and he just nods pretending he’s fine.

The rest came down and went to check on Ryleigh, the producer and Kelsie pulled Blake to one side, it wasn’t appealing as the only thing he had on was boxers. She told them all she’s fine.

‘Good going on Rory’s behalf.’ Ester said, ‘At least he knew what to do.’

‘My hero.’ Ryleigh kidded while looking at Rory and he blushes a bit. The producer came back with Blake and discuss the changes that were happening this week about the singing lessons, most of them agreed to it.

‘I’m going to go take a shower.’ She stated.

‘Make sure it’s a real cold one.’ He tells her and Ryleigh steadily makes her way up the stairs. Rory moves to the kitchen where everyone is sitting and tells Ester to accompany her in case she gets into trouble and went, he glared at Blake knowing full well of his intentions.

Ryleigh got herself dressed and noticed the sofa bed was put away. No one was around and plonked herself back onto the sofa, checking her phone and discovered some articles regarding the show, some state about her being the “dark horse” from being a nobody to a somebody but they couldn’t attain anything of her private life and make assumptions on who she is. Everyone else had a similar background in music including their troubled pasts, Rory and Blake had the worst. Another article she uncovered of her troubled relationship with her fiancée, as they think she’s producing a romantic interest in Rory. Ryleigh scrolls down further and see’s a quote supposedly Russell has said “Myself and Ryleigh are finding it difficult at the moment to communicate with her being the other side of the country. I hate to think she would do anything as such to upset or hurt me in any way.” She couldn’t believe Russell has been speaking to the media about their relationship, he wanted it to be private so why would he get the media involved? From the withdrawal of the drug, her emotions were formulating mood swings unexpectedly. She ached to hate him and cry thinking she’s breaking her loyalty to him and tosses the phone on the sofa facing up and curls into a ball trying to conceal how she feels.

‘Ryleigh, Ryleigh, Ryleigh!’ She can hear her voice being called in the distance. ‘Ryleigh snap out of it!’ He tells her and shakes her to look up at him, ready to cry again.

‘Rory, I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.’ She embraces into him which surprised him at first and then accepted it.

‘You’ve done nothing wrong.’ As he holds her, Rory peers over to see her phone lit up exposing an article she’s been reading, he understood why she’s upset, this article is making her anxious. ‘First thing, you don’t read the news.’ He tells her while letting go of her, ‘So I’ll be having your phone.’ He takes it on puts it in his pocket. ‘Secondly, I don’t want you to do anything that’ll make you upset.’ He then touches her forehead to feel she’s burning up. ‘Thirdly, you need to change into shorts and a t-shirt, you’re feeling warm again.’

‘I don’t have any shorts.’ She says, he lifts her and makes her follow her upstairs to his room. Rory supplies her shorts and changes in her room. The grey shorts appeared loose and she has a white vest top that fits her tight showing some skin around her stomach, he loved it when she wore his clothes and how she suits loungewear really well.

‘I actually feel a lot cooler. Thank you.’ Ryleigh adjusts the shorts so it rests on her hips.

She lies on the sofa most of the day lounging and they talk about anything that is on their mind, it helped Ryleigh forget the drugs in her, she questions him about his daughter and family. Rory asks her too about her life, job and what the UK is like. She strives to hide the tiredness but she crashes suddenly, her mouth is slightly open her head lying back on the sofa, he had to admit she looked cute.

He decided to think about his song and what he could do to secure him enough to get through. He feels a vibrate in his pocket and picks it out Ryleigh’s phone seeing it’s a message from Russell saying

"We need to talk x"

Rory couldn’t open it as she had a passcode but also a fingerprint and has noticed she uses her left hand a lot, the temptation to use her thumb to open it and read more and remembers the camera’s are on and puts the phone down next to him. It goes off again with another one from Russell,

"Is it really the show editing it? It doesn’t look like it to me.’"

Confused from his message he looks on social media to see if there’s something, it looks like someone must’ve identified who they are and took a picture of her and Ryleigh outside while he was trying to get her to concentrate. He had his hands on her cheeks while she’s laughing from the drugs making her delusional. From the image, it’s easy to conclude they’re having a thing and it’s people causing rumours theorising this. Ryleigh’s phone goes off again,

"How can I believe you when I see things like that?" It says from Russell, he felt guilty but he’s been looking after her and if he could only see that. However, he did see it from Russell’s perspective seeing another man touching his women and he would’ve felt the same way.

"Call me when you give a shit", another one popped up, part of him aspired to do a man-to-man chat and figure something out with him. At the same time, it’s not his place to, if he does chat it’ll make the matter worse speculating into Russell’s head that something is going on, that’s what Rory assumed. It’s a crush he kept believing and the perception of not having her is making her more attractive to him.

Lying back on the sofa next to her with a notepad in his hand, he can hear Ryleigh mumbling.

‘I’m…sorry….’ She murmurs, ‘I didn’t mean….to hurt you.’ He’s not certain if she’s going to panic again and would have to wake her up, but it appeared to suddenly stop. ‘Thank you….for believing in me.’ Ryleigh had no control in her sleep and shifted closer to him, pitching on his shoulder as a resting point she delivered a deep sigh and whispered on more thing. ‘Rory.’ His mind roused with excitement but he pretends he didn’t hear it and continued writing.

You think you can beat me down, with the shit you are stirring,

All your actually doing is making my fame up and earning,

You think I believe it isn’t you who chatters?

It’s got nothing to do with you

I’m the one that’s got it all.

So fuck you

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