Losing My Mind

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Chapter 18

The next day the song was finished and felt this is the best one she’s written so far. It also makes her believe working with Rory gave her the motivation. Rory felt the same, his feelings towards Ryleigh started to show through the cracks that he’s been hiding, but he still needed to be careful she only just got out of one and for her to move on quickly won’t give them a good reputation. Both of their PA has some news to tell them.

‘You’re invited to the Epic Rock Sound Music Awards.’ Both their jaws dropped.

‘You’ve got to be shitting me.’ Ryleigh blurted out causing Rory to laugh hysterically.

‘So the girls will go out and get dresses while the boys got get their suits together and the camera’s will be on you. Make-up and hair team will be in the house for you to get ready.’ Kelsie gives out the details.

‘Right, let’s go do the music video.’ Josh says.

Setting up on set, the director’s idea on what they will be doing, because of the song they wanted to show that they are trying to be coupled up but can’t find the way to express on how they feel about each other. They dress up like they are at a house party and each opportunity they get to kiss, they somehow get stopped by a friend dragging her off to dance or the guys wanting to play beer pong or other drinking games. She wears a summer fitted blue dress flowing above the knee with her hair curled. Rory wears skinny jeans and a black tight t-shirt, at first, the acting felt uncomfortable but they started to get used to it, every time she get’s close to his face she stops breathing suddenly waiting for him to do it, at the same time he is desperate to and suspense of it all is frustrating him. To everyone on set they believed they are good actors but to them it’s real, wanting it. They also had another set of them playing in the basement of a small crowd singing, finally getting a chance to sing their song. They seem to look into each other eyes telling them how they feel with the verses they’ve written, he puts his arm over her shoulder sometimes and nuzzles on her neck making her giggle when she sings.

Last part of the day the director wanted to do one more scene, Rory walks Ryleigh home holding hands feeling all shy and excited being with him, what is supposed to be her house she just says bye and walks away to go home. Rory acts annoyed that he didn’t get the chance to tell her how he felt and runs grabbing her hand. He pulls her close and places his hand on the side of her face and she starts to blush a bit.

‘Ok so in the editing of the video, we will black out drawing into a kiss so it gives the audience some anticipation. It’s up to you both if you want to.’ The director tells them, Rory looks at her.

‘Do you want to?’

‘If it makes it believable then I don’t see why not.’ Ryleigh tries to be cool about it but is a little bit excited inside while Rory started to feel nervous, this might not be the right time to do so. He has fantasised about it and now has the chance to, but this is all an act for now and whether she’ll like it as much too.

‘Ready when you are.’ The director calls out. He still looks at her,

‘Ready?’

‘Ready?’ She whispers with a smile, he draws in the kisses her. It’s soft and gentle like it should be for a first with someone new, holding there for a bit, he draws back and Ryleigh liked it better then she imagined. She couldn’t help but smile and he did too.

‘Cut. Thanks both.’ They take a step back from each other, wondering on what to say next or do.

‘This is going to be a killer video.’ She breaks the ice.

‘Yeah defiantly.’ He goes quiet needing to calm down, Josh came up in the nick of time.

After Rory calms down from his thoughts he went back to normal and Ryleigh considered maybe Rory wasn’t into her than she thought. She did feel down, but maybe being on her own for a while would be better, he tried vigorously not to give away his feelings but yet the song they both made gave him the excitement of performing with her.


The next day Ryleigh was up in the kitchen having her breakfast dreaming last night about her kiss with Rory, she really loved it her cheeks burn thinking about it. Everyone starts to turn up from their deep sleep eating their breakfast, she asks Ester on how she’s getting on with Dylan and seems to go well too. After their catch up Rory makes his way down worse for were, his hood up and jogging laying loose on his waist, he slept in because he didn’t want to wake up from his dreams of how much he craves for Ryleigh to be in his bed with him. That kiss he did only wanted her more, he comes up next to her and rest his head on her shoulder still feeling tired. She didn’t mind him being there and pats him on the cheek, he smiles.

They’re pumped up on the awards show happening tonight with the girls going shopping to get their dresses. As they arrive the designer labels chocked on Ryleigh’s throat and thinking she’ll never pull any of these dresses off, the rest of the girls are in the heaven and they finally picked the one they liked the most. Ester can see she’s struggling with this and comes to the rescue,

‘Why don’t you wear this one?’ Ester pulls out a black velvet dress and Ryleigh tilts her head at it, she did have an eye for that one but thought Kaylin would go for it. Still looking indecisive Ester huffed.

‘You’re wearing it.’

‘Thanks Ester.’ Ryleigh smiles at her.

The boys had their suits on all ready to go and decided to have a beer while waiting for the girls, one by one they all come downstairs, first was Kaylin wearing a two-piece dress. The crop top that looked too tight around her chest making her cleavage popped out, her long skirt was see-through with half a bodysuit covering her underneath with her blue hair curled, it’s Kaylin all over. Next came down Ester with her light yellow silky gown fitting her perfectly in every curve she had, her hair up like a bride would have. Ryleigh looked at her self in the mirror on more time and was still considering changing.

‘Come on Ry, we’re waiting.’ She heard Ester calling her down, she took a deep breath and made her way down the stairs. ‘There she is.’ The silky black gown covering her arms with a front net around her top and sides and a slit on one side, the back was bare with only on strip halfway through. Her golden hair curled and moved over one shoulder, it may be black but it was elegant. The only person she wanted to look at was Rory and he couldn’t believe how beautiful she looked, making her way down with a mini train following her and meets with his eyes.

‘You look amazing.’ He tells her.

‘Not so bad your self.’ She responds, her eyes shinning away with her Smokey eye make-up, his tattoos poop through his neck from his buttoned-up shirt-wearing all black which got her veins rushing fast.

‘Car’s here let’s go.’ Elliot calls out, Rory hold his arm out and she links in his and make there way to the car.

While being driven her knee started to shake again and Rory places his hand on her knee to stop.

‘Don’t be nervous.’ Rory tells her and grabs her hand. ‘You look amazing.’ And he kisses the back of her hand, she goes all shy from him, dressing up like this was completely out of her comfort zone and he can sense that. She’s also afraid of the flashing camera’s on her and the questions she might be asked about her love life with the journalists from TV shows.

As they all get out of the car, Kelsie and Josh waited for them near the entrance wearing all black with her phone ready to take pictures, Rory still holds on to her.

‘Oh my god, you look amazing.’ Kelsie said and fans her face trying not to cry.

‘I’ll take care of her.’ Rory says, they both nod at him and escorts her in. Following everyone else being the last ones, she starts to see the flashing camera’s and stopped in fear making Rory halt.

‘Hey, don’t be scared. I’m here.’ Rory stand in front of her blocking her view. ‘If they ask you anything that you don’t want to answer just squeeze my hand and I’ll help. Ok?’ Ryleigh meets his eyes and nods, he goes back beside her and has one hand on her back giving her a little nudge and goes forward all the flashing lights on her calling her name for them to look at their lens ‘Smile.’ Rory whispers and she does without trying too hard.

Once they pass, they get into a group photo and a solo photo behind the background of the awards where each musician has been getting their shots done. Rory gets her to stand next to Ester with the group photo and smiling. The organizer tells the girls to move to one side while the boys get one together and then individual photos. Once done, the girls do a group one, then one by one they get a single shot, Ryleigh went last and followed what the model advisor on what to do and hold it together while the camera is flashing on her, the organizer tells her to move along and meets up with the others.

‘Well done.’ Rory says to her.

‘Thanks. It’s going alright actually.’ He smiles at her glad she’s perking up, another organizer gets them to continue walking to another area on the carpet but Rory tugs her back by her hand.

‘What are you doing?’ She whispers, he puts his arm around her waist.

‘Smile at the camera with me.’ Not to question him anymore she does and lets the camera’s flash away, not too long he moves her to the next section.

‘Why did you do that for?’ She asks him.

‘I think people needed to see how beautiful you are for a little longer.’ Ryleigh went bright red, and they caught up with the rest. All their names where being called left, right and centre by the journalists and the backstage people lead Ryleigh to one TV host and Rory to another separating them, she started to feel nervous.

‘Ryleigh, hey I’m Lacy Nell from the music tv channel Metal Skull. Are you having fun tonight?’ Her shaved head on one side and brown locks on the other with a leather jacket with studs.

‘Yeah, I am thank you.’ She thought that was ok.

‘So Battle of the Rock star, it’s not all about the music is it? What’s with all the drama?’

‘Err, umm…’ Ryleigh panicked and tried to remember what Kelsie said not to be too honest and find a way to answer the question. ‘…I’m having a good time and I hoping that for the live show tomorrow we’re going to kill it.’ As a journalist speculates her ignoring the question, Lacy tries another approach.

‘So you and Rory are doing a duo?’

‘Yes.’

‘Do you think that you being put together is the right choice?’

‘Yes, the song we worked on now finished has been one of my favourites so far.’

‘Is it your favourite because you get to work with him?’ Lacy pushes her limit and Ryleigh went blank. ‘I mean you guys seem to have a great connection.’

‘We have the same music taste which helped.’ She almost felt like she started to sweat with the comments.

‘Speaking of the devil…’ Ryleigh looks back to see Rory joining in. ‘Rory welcome you’re with the TV channel Metal Skull. We were just talking about you.’

‘I hope it’s nice things.’ He delivers a cheeky comment making Lacy laugh.

‘We were just talking about the duo song for this weekend. You guys seem to have a great chemistry. Tell us more.’ Lacy faces the microphone for him to speak.

‘I really enjoyed working with Ryleigh, she is a great team player. The song that we wrote together is going to knock it out of the park.’ Rory’s laid back attitude make the interview more comfortable while Ryleigh felt uptight from it.

‘I like that.’ They talk about more and she observes how he answers and how she should do it.

Not long after that, they move along and another one wants to talk to her. This time Rory stayed with her.

‘Hey here is Ryleigh on Rory who is on Battle of the Rock Star show, I’m Chase from K-Sound radio, welcome.’ They both say hello into the microphone. His layback DJ attitude show which made him great for radio. ‘We play your songs, you get votes and everyone seems to be routing for you Ryleigh.’

‘That’s great, thank you so much.’ She responds.

‘So you guys are doing the duo, the song is realised tomorrow, tell me more about the song?’ Chase asks and Rory takes the lead.

‘This song is about having a good time with the people you care about the most.’

‘Did you write it because you care about each other?’ Ryleigh looks at Rory knowing that this sounds like a trap and worried that they’ll twist his words.

‘When one of us write or sing, it’s always about someone we care about and Ryleigh and I have that in common.’ Ryleigh exhaled deeply glad from his answer and Chase can see he’s doing a good job answering his questions by not giving a lot away, so he decides to take it up a notch.

‘Ryleigh coming from the UK to here must have been a big change?’

‘Yes it kind of is, but I’m liking it here.’

‘Are you thinking of staying?’

‘I’m taking a day at a time.’

‘How does your family think of it all?’

‘They’ve been supportive, cheering me on.’

‘Including your fiancée?’ Shit shit shit, she thinks through her head, does she tell them about not being with him anymore? ‘I’ve noticed you’re not wearing your engagement ring?’ Rory squeezes her waist encouraging her calm down, she didn’t want to lie but not tell the truth either. ‘He didn’t even turn up for the special guest appearance. Is he really supportive?’ Chase continued.

‘I…I…Somethings got in the way, so he couldn’t come. Being the other side of the world and that, but they’re all supportive. All of them’ She finishes off with a smile, inside Rory his veins started to pump out of his neck, with the questions he asked her. Since Chase wasn’t getting any more out of her, they ended the conversation and moved along. Ryleigh hated that one and didn’t want to do anymore, but Rory got called to do another one, so he told her to stay a couple of steps behind, she wasn’t too far away not to hear.

‘Rory, you’re with Top Rock Radio and I’m Cassy.’ Her fire-red hair and right arms sleeve Japanese bold colour tattoo standing out on her. ‘How’s it going?’ The interview started to go well with him and asked him about his music.

‘From your background, married, had a kid, sent to prison for 2 years, then divorced and here on a red carpet a few years later. What made you decide to be on the TV show?’

‘I decided I need to make a change, not just for myself but for my daughter too, I’m 4 years clean and I hope to stay that way.’ Ryleigh thought that must’ve been a tough question for him, his past must haunt him, but she can see how honest he’s being too.

‘Congrats for that and I’ve got to ask as it is on everyone’s lips. What’s with you and Ryleigh? An ex-criminal ex-drug addict having some chemistry with a good girl from the UK. Is it her accent?’

‘Ryleigh is a wonderful person I’ve ever met and she is someone that has something special, I think she’ll go far.’ Ryleigh feels grateful from his comments and wants to hug him, as he finishes up he takes Ryleigh and they finally make their way to the venue, the camera’s where finally gone.

‘That was a fucking nightmare.’ Ryleigh muttered.

‘You did great. You really did.’

‘You did better, even when they brought up about your past.’ He shrugs.

‘You have to be prepared for it.’ She looks down to the floor embarrassed on how she answered about her relationship with Russell and he takes her hand and squeezes it. ‘I know you didn’t want to talk about your relationship with Russell and what you did was the right thing. They’ll talk about us this weekend. Then forget about it.’ She meets his eyes seeming more relaxed. At least the evening isn’t going to be any more questions and she gets to enjoy the rest of the night.

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