CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
My eye's flashed to the door as a light knock sounded from it.
Great the last thing I wanted was for Seth to come back "LEAVE Me THE FUCK Alone SETH" I Yelled. Another knock only louder followed.
Argh!! I thought he had gone? I wish he would have stayed gone. I raised to my feet swinging the door open preparing myself to tell Seth to fuck off. But it wasn't Seth.
Stefan stood in front of me my eyes automatically drifting over his worried facial features. His lower lip busted and a red mark below his left eye from his rumble with Seth. Guilt seeped over me it's my fault his face was in the state that it was.
I wiped the wet tears from my face with the palms of my hands. Taking a step to the side allowing him to pass. Stefan stepped inside observing the room as he entered, His eyes zoning in on the crack in the wall Seth had left with his fist. "Are you ok?" He asked turning his attention to me. His eyes scanning my body from head to toe.
A small laugh escaped my lips it really is funny how he is physically hurt after having a brawl with his brother as a result of the drama that is or was my relationship and he is here asking me if I'm okay? "Are you?" I retorted his question raising my hand to take his chin between my fingers I observed the damage to his lip.
"I'm sorry" I apologised.
His green eyes bore in to mine with a look I couldn't decipher. He took my hand from his face taking it between the palms of both his hands "You have nothing to apologise for" He told me with certainty. But he was wrong he was so wrong, I could of avoided all of this if I had only turned down his offer of a ride home.
I pulled my hand from his, Turning away from him. His gaze was one of pity and the guilt I felt only grew more intense for me to handle "It is though" I let out my voice raised "It is Stefan, It's my fault you and Seth faught. I knew he would freak if he saw me with you and yet I still got in the car with you knowing that there would be a high chance Seth would still be at my house" I stressed as I began pacing the hall.
"Savanah" I ignored him too ashamed of my actions to bring myself to look at him. "Savanah listen to me" He demanded softly. Grazing his fingers over the skin of my wrist to gain my attention. I stopped pacing turning my attention on him. "Don't worry about Me and Seth, That fight was long coming, It was inevitable" He shrugged his shoulders as if fighting his brother was nothing.
I slowly nodded my head still not believing his words but agreeing anyway hoping if I agree the conversation would end. I needed tonight to be over with. The events of yesterday and today combined leaving me more than emotionally exhausted.
"Did he hurt you?" I snapped my eyes to Stefan whose gaze was trained on the crack in the wall that was left courtesy of Seth. "No" I answered only half truthfully.
In honesty my back ached from the brutal force Seth had used when pushing me into the wall no doubt a bruise forming as a reminder of his rage tonight. I couldn't help but feel grateful that he had punched the wall instead of me.
I looked up at Stefan "You shouldn't put up with this shit" He gritted his hand motioning towards the wall. I lowered my eye's to the floor Swallowing the tears that threatened to spill yet again. His words holding only the truth. "I broke up with him" My voice breaking as the words left my lips. A part of me not believing my own words remembering Seth's refusal of me leaving him.
My eyes on Savanah it was clear to me that she was hurting, Her words burning her as they left her mouth. But I couldn't help the feeling of relief that washed over me hearing her speak those words. Relief that I didn't have to worry about Seth laying his hands on her ever again. She deserves that, She deserves to not have to worry about that either.
Although she obviously isn't happy at this point in time I can only hope that she will be soon. "Can I have a smoke?" I raised a brow at her words.
"what?" I asked obviously hearing her wrong. "Can I have a smoke?" She repeated the confirmation that I had indeed heard her correctly the first time.
"A cigarette?" I questioned bewildered at her request. My facial expression for sure portraying a look of confusion
"Yes Stefan a cigarette, What else?" she looked at me with a small smile, a smile so small I would of missed it if I wasn't observing her reaction so closely.
I chuckled at her response pulling the pack of cigarettes out of my Jean pocket, placing one between my lips. I watched her carefully as she looked up at me expectantly.
One side of my mind screamed "HELL NAH" don't be an idiot she doesn't even smoke while the other debated that she can make her own mind up. Everything in my body told me not to give into those eyes of hers but the words that left my mouth where the opposite "Anything you want Princess" The words slipped past the cigarette between my lips.
I placed myself on the steps outside my front door Stefan following suit as he took a seat beside me "You sure about this princess?" He asked through the cigarette between his lips. How does he do that? I mean keep the cigarette between his lips while talking without it falling?
I nodded my head yes in response.
Stefan held the open pack out in front of me and I took one placing it between my lips. "Take it easy, Inhale small" Stefan instructed. "It's not my first time" I told him. "No?" He chuckled amusement shining in his eyes as he lit the cigarette hanging from my lips then proceeded to Light his own. He watched me carefully, Leaning his back against the railing of the steps.
It was silent for a while,Both of us distracted in other things. Me being too consumed by my chaotic life while I watched the death stick in my hand burn.
Stefan's thaughts training to god knows where but I could feel his eyes never wavering from the side of my head.
Another moment passed in silence "So how is it I have never clocked you smoking before?" He asked breaking the silence.
I shrugged "Dunno" I paused taking a moment to think "It's not something I do often it's just something that makes me feel like I have control I guess" I replied. "Control?" He raised a brow a small smirk playing on his lips as he took a drag of his smoke.
Maybe control isn't the right word? I don't know all I know is that not only does a smoke calm my nerves it sort of makes me feel collected for the time being. I thought for a moment trying to figure out how to put my thoughts into words
"put it this way" I told him "it's like I can gain control of my thoughts, with each toke of the smoke I seem to be able to collect all my jumbled up thoughts and arrange them into reasonable pros and cons" I looked to Stefan who was listening intently, taking in every word that I was saying "Pro's and Cons of?" He pushed "I dunno" I laughed lightly.
I probably sound ridiculous to him god even I think it sounds stupid "Of what ever the situation at the time may be" I answered his question.
Stefan was staring at me as if trying to figure me out something I've notice him do alot lately.
He definitely thinks I'm an idiot after hearing my reason. I shook my head ridding the thaught "Does that even make sense?" I asked locking my eyes on his, His eyes shining with curiosity "It makes perfect sense to me Princess" He smiled over at me.
"What about you, Why do you smoke?" I Asked him the same question he had asked me.
"Ahh" He chuckled "I warn you my answer isn't as deep as yours" He clarified with a bright smile. I smiled back at him his smile was contagious.
"I have Nothing better to do" His answer was simple. "Seriously?" I laughed. "Told you, It's not that deep" He smirked releasing the smoke from his lungs. "Your an Idiot you know that? " I laughed playfully nudging my shoulder into his.
"So, I'm guessing you need a lift to school tomorrow?" He asked gently nudging my shoulder back with his.
Honestly I hadn't thaught that far ahead "I guess I do" I confirmed.