Am I Really Worth Loving?

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Life goes on-Chapter 1

Yasser’s POV

Islamic phrases and their meanings in this chapter

Wallah-Promise or I swear

Ya Allah-OH MY LORD

I woke up to the sound of the usual racket that came from my brothers.I immediately dressed up wearing my grey Adidas sweatpants and sweat shirt.Actually, I’m not really a fan of Adidas but I don’t mind.Well to be honest I never was.Just as I was thinking about how messed up my life was I heard my Mom voice calling me downstairs.

“Yasser come down here right now”, she demanded.I sighed knowing exactly what she wants me to do.

“Coming mom”, I gave her a short reply as I headed downstairs.

As I was heading downstairs , one of my elder brothers shoved me out of the way.

“Get out of the way you prick”Ibrahim said and he slapped me for literally no reason.I guess I was kinda used to this type of behaviour from him.I found myself in the kitchen because that’s what I do every morning at six a.m.To clean the dishes and cook meals.Surprised! Well , according to my mother since I’m obese she thinks if I do extra work in the house I will reduce in size and weight.

It didn’t take long for me to finish the few dishes .I REALLY hate washing manually even though we have a dishwasher.My two brothers came into the kitchen and I’m not surprised at all.

“Hey you,clean these as well”Ashfan snapped.

“And these as well ,you nut head” Zayn whispered harshly.

I let out a sigh and continue to wash the dishes even though I am the only one in my family right now who hasn’t eaten breakfast yet.I quickly clear up the dishes and cook a different type of breakfast(apparently my parents don’t allow me to ).The explanation they always give is that I’m fat and people like me should not eat carbohydrates.RIDICULOUS!I ate my breakfast real quick after cooking myself an omelette ONLY.My thoughts were suddenly interrupted when I heard a something crash on the floor.

I ran to the living room and I saw my brother’s running away.Ya Allah , they broke my mom’s favourite chandelier and it broke into millions of pieces.That chandelier held so much memories.I decided to pick up the pieces, if I would have known this earlier I wouldn’t be picking up the pieces.

“Oh my Days MOM ,Yasser broke the chandelier “My older brother Ibrahim screamed across the hallway while smirking at me.My mom came in a jiffy.

“Who did this,” she screamed hysterically though I suspected she heard Ibrahim well.It took less than one minute for the whole family to join us in the living room.

“Mom I saw Yasser ,apparently he took a ball and kicked it in the ceiling”Zayn said loudly.

Just as I was about to defend myself,my mother screamed at me and ordered one of our brother’s to go and get a cooking stick(Obviously to hit me with).

“B-but I didn’t do it Mom please listen to me” I stammered

“How could you Yasser! “She was really sobbing now.She then turned to my father who did not hesitate to slap me in front of everyone.

I screamed “Wallah ! Wallah ! I Promise you I didn’t break it .I swear to Allah ” I cried.

“You stupid idiot is this what you do to your mother and ruin our family ,” he yelled at me and I met his hazel eyes that turned brown due to the anger before he continued.

“HUH , answer me I said ,Do you even know how expensive this is?” he slapped me backhanded this time. I howled really loudly as I could not think of what to say.

Tears were already forming in my eyes and fell down uncontrollably.Some of my brothers were laughing at me secretly which I suspect them to be the ones who broke the chandelier.The others were stone silent but did not seem to pity me.Much to my surprise, the cooking stick was brought and my dad did not hesitate to hit me with it.

“Dad please stop I didn’t even do any of this, I think Zayn and Ashfan did this”, I screamed.He was literally hitting me everywhere including my head with that stick.My mom was just watching as she cried herself out.Soon Zayn and Ashfan started to fake cry though it seemed real and my dad got even angrier.

“How dare you blame it on your younger siblings”he slapped me really hard.

“When I marry you off you will not disturb any of us again and why should I spend my money on you to pay dowry for your future wife,you ungrateful worthless pig”he shouted at me.

Those last words really hit me like a thunderbolt and I ran off to my room to get my kindle so I could read my stories to pass time.I felt so upset and I knew I couldn’t do anything about it.I felt broken ,no one to support me .I prayed to Allah to help me get through with this and I relied on my lord to at least help me feel ease the grief in this kind of situation.I really need my lord to be with me at this moment because I knew I couldn’t survive longer.I decided to offer a short prayer and took my kindle with me and prepared to go to the park alone.Not forgetting to take my razor blade . Cutting myself kind of helped me but I knew this was bad but I felt completely broken so I had no choice basically.

“Within the next few minutes I sat on my favourite bench and instead of reading I started to cry silently.I knew better than anyone that after this I would return home and life would go on the same way as before.I always had no trust in other people and the walls kept building inside kept on growing day by day.I have no one left and things become worse when I get back to school on Monday morning.

I’ve got to stop the Tears ,keep my Faith and be Strong.These words kept running back and forth in head.I had to trust Allah in this.

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