I cried myself at the park uncontrollably yesterday.As I sat on my bed thinking about how yesterday was, I took in a deep breath and bit my inner cheek to stop myself from crying.The wounds that I received yesterday were still fresh.I look over at my left wrist and examined my skin. I had several cuts on my wrist which I remember vividly yesterday at the park.I was so caught up with my thoughts that I didn’t see my youngest brother who was eight at the time come into my room.
“Big Bro please could I come in?“he asked timidly.
Sure I told him I knew that he was the most innocent out of all my brothers.He rarely got into trouble with my parents who really loved him so much.I also liked him because of his innocence and his curiousness. He was not mean and could differentiate between right and wrong.I kinda loved him as a brother and he wasn’t too annoying to deal with.
“Okay Hassan ,um what exactly do you want ?” I asked him quietly since I wasn’t the mood to talk to anyone at all.
“I’m so sorry for what happened yesterday but I couldn’t do anything to support you please forgive me Yasser. I’m not capable of handling Dad and the family all alone”he sounded really remorseful.
“It’s okay for now , I’m fine really”, I replied nonchalantly
“B-but I saw you running from home and you seemed upset ,where did you go?“he kept pressing me on.I told him where I had gone to but didn’t give him the details of what happened there.
“Are you satisfied?“Knowing that he asked alot of questions.I secretly wanted to get rid of him.
“Yes”, he seemed a bit happy now and left.
Great , I was left with my thoughts now and I was extremely bored.I looked into the mirror and saw my reflection and I wandered several times who the person I kept seeing in the mirror was.I was completely covered in bruises and a black ring was slowly forming around my eye.There was absolutely nothing I could do about it , but just give myself light strokes on my skin and to have faith in Allah.
Allah surely has a good reason for all of this .He knows exactly why I am being treated this way. I just have to have more faith in him.So I told myself repeatedly “Breathe and have Faith that everything will work out for the best.”I got to my bed and started to read a few chapters of the Quran before falling asleep.
It felt like I’ve slept for like a few minutes but I know very well that I shouldn’t oversleep unless someone comes and hits me in my sleep.I decide to get up from my short nap and go to the kitchen to take my late breakfast.As I was walking down the stairs I heard distinct chatting,I crept closer and stood behind the wall trying to eavesdrop.I know it wasn’t a good behaviour but I had no choice.My mother was talking to my father in the living room about ME!!
“What should we do with him?” my mother asked whispering but I could still hear her.
“He is bringing shame to our family ,failing at school ,ruining our family and I don’t know what to do”mother continued sounding worried.
“Easy we shall just marry him off besides he was not our child to begin with remember”Dad said in a low monotone voice.
I felt as if the air had been sucked out of my lungs.I could not even stand properly let alone understand what was happening.Millions of thoughts rushed through my brain .I could not even think clearly.“Where are my biological parents?Are they dead?When was I adopted?How old was I when they adopted?Did my parents abandon me?”
I cried silently leaning against the same wall and stood there for a few minutes until a voice startled me
“What are you doing behind the wall, were you listening to us”My father whom I have absolutely no relationship with screamed at me.
Anyways guys I’m really sorry for making this chapter a little bit short but I knew I had to stop there
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