Am I Really Worth Loving?

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Trust(Part 2)-Chapter5

WARNING :Very Sad Chapter Not Advisable For Very Sensitive Readers

Yasser’s POV

For most of you it may be surprising as to how I could trust someone that I haven’t known for more than a week.Well the point is I don’t.My life is already pretty messed up anyways so there is absolutely no way I would let myself let hurt again.I remember giving Khalid a week to prove himself for my trust but what is there really for him to prove.To be honest, I currently don’t know.

I also wasn’t stupid enough to show him where I currently stay because we all might understand that he as well,is welcome to our home just like I am to his.It is almost bed time for me and I grab my phone from the my desk and decided to switch it on.

I was really shocked and upset from what I saw.I recently posted a picture of myself winning at the chess master’s competition.I felt on top of the world and felt very proud of my self.I took a quick look on my phone’s notifications and saw one hundred and five different comments on most of my platforms.I knew very well I couldn’t handle this anymore.

“Hey guys if you come across this comment be sure to give it a thumbs up,look at this fat boy trying to act cool in front of a camera when in reality he looks like a squash”, a random user commented and that certain comment had over five hundred likes.

Others decided to do a expectation and reality on me using most of my best pictures that I loved.Some even went as far as telling no one wanted me to be in their lives and I am worthless?

“Hey can I just tell this guy to just go kill himself since no one really needs him,look at the way he smiles exactly like an ape who has never seen a camera before XD”,another random user posted. I started to cry hard when I read this .Perhaps it was true.

This was all hopeless,I couldn’t even read further.UNBELIEVABLE.I can’t even believe that some people in this world have the audacity to bully other people online.I did not even think twice instead I just deleted my Twitter,Facebook and Instagram accounts all at once.I was done with this shit.

I even decided that my body shape was awful and needed to spend an awful lot of time in the gym.I had no choice but to use my small amount of savings to pay for the future gym expenses and hire a trainer as well.I think it was true maybe I did look like a squash.My green eyes mean nothing to me even though they are the most beautiful eye color ,no one has ever complimented on them though. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be born in the first place.

My Faith in my Lord was slowly fading away.It’s like I don’t even know why all these occurrences were happening.Though our religion Islam teaches us to understand that God has good reasons for every occurrence that is happening around us,we should pray to him to make things easier for us.

My short thought was interrupted by a vibrating sound from my phone.Shoot !Another notification, how annoying.I thought to myself real quick .

“Didn’t I just delete all my social media accounts ,how come I’m still receiving more notifications?“,Oh wait it is from messenger.

“Hi there just wanted to know if you would like to play this game to pass on time , it is really fun you should try it out, It is actually mean for people like you”, a random user messaged me .I don’t even know the person.

“Play the Blue-Whale game .One of the best games I tried and I’m sure you’ll love it too”, he told me again.

I just told him thanks and shut down my phone. I was not in the mood of trying to play some sappy old game at this hour ,Was I ?I went downstairs to the kitchen to look for some left over dinner that was prepared at eight .It was pretty late in the night so I decided to tiptoe out of my room to avoid being heard by anyone.Surprisingly, if I would have known this earlier I wouldn’t have even left my room to go and fetch something to eat.

I was beyond astounded when I found everyone in the living room.They all stared at me like I was insane.I don’t even get it what’s wrong with them.

“Get out”,my male guardian said to me.I just couldn’t refer to him dad anymore.He didn’t deserve it at all.

“W-where?“, I asked lowering my voice.

“Go and sleep outside and leave us alone”, he clarified without shouting.I couldn’t believe it , is this what they planned to do to me . I knew it was hopeless trying to argue with him.

“W-why,what did I do,I’m sorry I can’t leave here unless you give me a good reason”I said very confidently.I couldn’t care less about what he was going to say to me.I didn’t even realize that him picking up a small stool from the far corner and threw it at me within less than a second.I screamed in since the foot of the stool hit my little toe in the end,that’s when he asked Ibrahim and Mohammed(both are older than me) to drag me outside and leave there the whole night.

“L-l-eave me alone ,you can’t throw me outside for no reason”, I complained. Ibrahim and Mohammed both kicked me hard on either sides of my rib.I let out a long scream before they shoved me outside in the cold .

This is what exactly happens when I try to fetch for myself food to eat.I always have to starve in this house yet I’m the one who cook for them.It was really hopeless .I could not escape these people no matter what.I may be an adult but I don’t even have a home or enough money to start me off .I haven’t even finished studying yet that are planning to marry me off.I hope I die before that happens.“But the bravest thing I ever did all these years is continuing my life when I wanted to die”.I love that quote,it motivates me but not so much.

I just sat alone in the dark afraid as always but this time I carried my phone and I had nothing better to do.I probably should have gotten my razor and cut my flesh a little more deeply this time knowing that nobody would care in the first place.So I finally decided to play that game the anonymous person sent to me.Blue Whale Challenge.

“What’s worse than knowing you want something,besides knowing you can never have it?”

#Hopeless.

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