It’s amazing how one minute your life is perfect, and the next disaster can strike. I never thought that I would be burying my husband so young. The drunk driver came out of nowhere. I remember when the police officers told me the news and I just dropped. I was numb. I still am numb. He will never get to see our daughter grow up or see the birth of our sons. We won’t get to grow old together and experience life together any longer. I keep running through what happened in my head every single day that has passed. Even today, the day of his funeral I can’t help but wonder why this has happened to me. My husband was the best man anyone could ask for. He made sure that Sienna and I were taken care of every single day. When we found out we were pregnant with twins he was the happiest man alive. I must be strong for my babies and for our daughter, but I can’t keep the memory of what happened out of my head.
*FLASHBACK: THREE DAYS AGO, *
“Babe will you go to the store and get some pickles? The babies want pickles and chocolate!” I ask Andrew. I have been having the weirdest cravings with these two. With Sienna I only craved mac n chees and ranch.
“Yeah let me finish up with Sienna’s bath. It shouldn’t be more than five minutes.” He yelled from the bathroom. God this man is everything I have ever wanted. I don’t know where I would be without him. He has the kindest heart and does anything for anyone that he can.
“Okay.” I said and went to watch Netflix. He came in about five minutes later and kissed my head before he went to the store. He had given Sienna her bath and gotten her in her pajamas.
“Mommy, can I have a snack before bed, and can we watch Doc McStuffins while we eat our snack?” Sienna asks coming to sit on my lap. “Yes baby. Of course, we can. What would you like for a snack? I asked her and she started thinking. She has this cute tick that she does when she thinks. She has seen her daddy do it so many times she does it too. She taps her finger on her forehead thinking. “How about chocolate pudding!” She exclaims. “Of course.” I said as we went into the kitchen to get the pudding and then head to the living room to watch Doc McStuffins.
Andrew has been gone for about thirty minutes now. We live about ten minutes from the store so he should have been back by now. I lay Sienna down for bed and here a knock on the door. “Coming.” I yell as I head to get the door. I look out the peep hole and see two officers at the door.
I open the door and one of them asks me if I am Mrs. Dale. “Yes I am. Can I help you officers?” I ask.
“Ma’am I am sorry to have to tell you this, but your husband was in an accident. He was hit by a drunk driver and unfortunately, he didn’t make it.” I couldn’t think. I just dropped to my knees and started crying.
I’ll never forget that day and having to explain to my five-year-old daughter that her daddy isn’t going to be coming home. Having to tell her how daddy is up in Heaven with God. I’m taken out of my thoughts when my daughter comes running up to me. She is the one that has kept me grounded. I am also nine months pregnant with my boys and can burst at any given moment. I never thought I would have to go through this alone.
“Mommy! Mommy! Grammy said we could go get ice cream after this. Can we?” She asked. “Of course, baby. Mommy is really tired so do you think that you and Grammy could go and bring me some home?” I’ve been having pains in my abdomen for about twenty minutes now and we are about to leave for the grave sight so I’m going to tough it out until the last minute.
When we arrive at the grave sight things seem as if they are going faster than the speed of light. Soon, it’s my turn to speak and I can’t find my feet to move. My mom helps me and eventually I make to the podium. “Andrew Michael Dale was heart. I don’t know where I would be without him. I guess now I must find out. He was the best dad and husband anyone could ask for. He was always there for everyone when they needed him. He was selfless…” I pause trying to reel in the tears that are starting to come. “He…will never get to see his children grow up in person, but I know…that he…will be looking down on us. I love him with all my being and I just hope he gives me the strength to do this alone. I love you Drew.”
The funeral went as normal funerals go, but I couldn’t seem to comprehend that he’s gone yet. I have my children and that is the only thing that is keeping me going right now. Everyone heads to our home to eat and talk, and my contractions are getting more frequent. “Mom, I think it’s time.” I say to my mom and as I say that my water breaks. Isn’t it ironic how we bury my husband and the same day my sons are wanting to make their appearance? I suppose they want their mommy to be happy and not sad.
“Johnathan!” My mom hollers for my dad. “Paxton is in labor! We need to get the bags and head to the hospital. Call the doctor and let him know we are on the way. You can meet us there with Sienna and Emily.” Emily is my best friend and my children’s godmother. “Okay everyone I hate to have to say this, but we are going to have to ask you all to leave so we can get to the hospital and meet these babies!” My mom says as we head to the door.
We make it to the hospital, and I am three centimeters dilated. “Mom I can’t do this without him! He’s supposed to be here!” I can’t do this without him. He’s my rock.
“I know sweetie, but he is here. He’s here in your heart. I am here and your father is on his way. You have us baby and I know you are going through something rough, but you will make it. You are strong and have an amazing little girl and two amazing little boys on the way! Baby you can do this.” My mom says as she strokes my hair like she used to when I was younger. I’ve been in labor for three hours now and I am six centimeters dilated. The contractions are getting more painful and I decide against the epidural. I didn’t use one with my daughter and I am not using one with my sons.
Finally, after eight hours of labor it is time to push. “Okay Paxton on the count of three you have to push.” Doctor Williams tells me. “One…Two…Three…Push!” I push and push and push. “I can’t do this! I need Drew!” I scream through pushes. “Yes, you can Paxton, the first baby is almost out. One more good push and he will be here!” Doctor Williams says. I take a deep breath and push one las time and Caydence Andrew Dale is born and seven pounds sixteen ounces. Ten minutes later and the other baby is ready to come out. After pushing a few times Cameron Alexander Dale is born at six pounds twelve ounces. I am exhausted, but I want to see my babies.
“Here they are mama. Meet your sons.” The nurse says as she lays them down in each of my arms. I can’t stop looking at them. They look exactly like Andrew. They have his blue eyes and his nose. I can’t wait to watch them grow into the men that their father wanted for them. After the doctors fix me up down there and I feed the boys, everyone starts coming in to see them. I’m nervous on how Sienna will react with them. She has always been the center of attention since she was the only child. She runs into the room. “Mommy! Is that my brothers. Can I hold them?” She asks. “No baby not right now. They are sleeping and they are too little and so are you. How about you come up here on the bed and you can lay here with us?” I ask and she gets this big smile on her face like she just won all the candy in the world. “Okay mommy!”
Oh Drew, how I wish you were to see our babies. I miss you so much. I can’t help the tears that come. “Mommy, why are you sad?” Sienna asks. “Well I am not just sad baby. I am also happy. I’m sad because we lost daddy, but I am happy because we have your brothers now. I love you all.” I explain to her.