Before I Fall

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By the time midnight rolled around, Ambra’s heart was beating out of its chest. She had never snuck out before. Her parents didn’t let her go out to parties, too much put at risk for their reputation they said. That’s why with one leg hanging out of the window and the other in her bedroom, Ambra wonders if this is the best thing to be doing.

No, I have to go. I was out of order, come on you wuss get out of the window, she scolded herself before climbing onto the branch hanging by her window and making her way down slowly. She looked over the fence to make sure no one was watching her. The windows were shut and the lights were out, but it didn’t mean no one was looking from the shadows. When Ambra was sure the coast was clear she sprinted down the street like a bat out of hell.

The walk, well sprint in this case, to Luca’s house was 15 minutes. Ambra knew she could not run that long, who can?! She kept in the shadows and avoided any dodgy alleyways. If she thought her heart was beating out of its chest before, it might as well be on the ground squirting out blood at this point. The adrenaline was pumping through her system. Ambra was on a high. The kind that makes you want to keep doing something dangerous.

The town was completely silent. The odd petrol station with its flickering lights would make an appearance from time to time but other than that, silence. The slight rain that had begun to fall only made Ambra sprint faster as she fought against the harsh wind that had picked up too. She felt like she could finally breathe out a sigh of relief when she spotted a house in the distant.

Ambra didn’t know what she was expecting. An apartment? Maybe. A freaking mansion?!! NO WAY. Her eyes almost bulged out of her head after seeing Luca’s home. Although it was dark, she couldn’t tear her eyes off of the gold plating on the doorway and the intricately painted lion head that served as a doorknob.

Her admiring was cut short as her orbs met with those of emerald jewels. Before she could stop herself, Ambra threw herself on Luca and hugged his neck. She felt him stiffen underneath her but couldn’t find it in herself to care. She needed to let him know how sorry she was; uncomfortable or not. Slowly but eventually, strong tattooed arms made them way around her waist and held her tight.

“What’s all this about then, hm?” Luca spoke into her shoulder as he walked backwards and closed the door behind them. Neither of them loosened their grip on the other.

“I’m sorry,” Ambra couldn’t hide the tremble in her voice as she hugged her friend impossibly closer. “I-I got scared I didn’t mean to be so rude, you must think I’m a rich ungrateful brat. I’m not like that I promise. My parents have always kept me away from guys and stuff you know, so I wasn’t sure how to react knowing I was friends with a thirty-five year old. I didn’t mean all those mean things I said, please forgive me.” Ambra was a blubbering mess with tears rolling down her chubby cheeks.

Luca sat them down on his couch with Ambra’s legs on either side of his. He stroked her hair and held her tight until she had calmed down. Both of them sat together as the only sounds that could be heard were Ambra’s light sniffles that were dying down the longer they sat together. No words were said as they found comfort in the other’s embrace. The crackling of the fire behind them served as a background noise that omitted any presence of an awkward silence.

Luca was first to clear his throat before speaking. “I want to say sorry too,” he started off quietly so as to not break the beauty of the moment; one loud noise and everything would shatter. “I intentionally didn’t tell you how old I was so you wouldn’t run away. You’re the only person I’ve seen who’s wanted to be friends with me. Everyone else is always looking for a quick shag. I never wanted to scare you away. I forgive you though. For everything.”

Ambra pulled back and rested her hands on top of his chest whilst looking down. “I forgive you too,” she whispered. Luca’s hands raised themselves to her cheeks and wiped away the stray tears.

The argument itself wasn’t huge, it was the meaning behind it. They both knew they weren’t good for each other. Both knew society would attempt to break them apart even if they were only friends. But the fact that they had come forward and had apologized for the littlest of things was what made it such a sentimental moment. A moment in which they both knew the other would be sincere. That neither of them would let the other suffer with the remains of an argument in their head. Both of them would come and heal the other.

Luca stared intently into Ambra’s eyes before getting up abruptly. Ambra squealed as she held on tight to Luca’s neck.

“Where are we going?”

“My bedroom, we both need some sleep,” Luca threw her a wink and a flirty smile as Ambra blushed and hid her face in his neck. She felt dazed around him. Like someone had placed her on cloud nine. She felt safe, protected, loved.

Luca placed her on his bed that took up half of his huge bedroom. His walls were bare and grey, no pictures. Two black doors were on the right wall which Ambra believed to lead into a spacious wardrobe and bathroom.

Ambra’s attention was once again diverted as eyes settled upon a shirtless Luca walking towards her with a T-shirt in hand.

Her eyebrows furrowed together, “what’s this for?”

Luca picked up on her confused tone and whipped around from his position in the middle of the bedroom, “you are staying aren’t you? I didn’t think you’d run all this way just to have a chat and run back in the shitty weather.”

“That was exactly my plan. I can’t stay the night Luca, you know that. Do you know what my paren—” A warm finger placed itself on her lips and prevented her from talking. Emerald eyes shone in the darkness, the moon reflecting off of his eyes.

“My, my you have a habit of rambling don’t you?” Luca’s eyes flashed with amusement as he continued staring intently at a now beet red Ambra. “You’re staying the night and I’ll drop you off before your parents notice that you’re even gone ok? What time do they leave for work?”

“Mmmmmmm they usually wake up and leave without telling me.”

“Well, it’s settled then. You and I can stay here for as long as we like since your parents won’t notice until they get back.”

Ambra’s eyes widened before she shook her head rapidly, “Luca no— I can’t please. I don’t want to intrude I just came here to apologize I—”

“Consider this payback. For me to fully forgive you you have to stay with me,” the emotion in his voice made it clear that he wanted her to stay. He was getting close to demanding but didn’t want to scare her off. The man in front of her was slowly changing her mind. Of course, she was still hesitant, she’d never spent the night a guy before.

Hell she’d never had any friends who were guys.

But seeing Luca with a hopeful look in his eyes made her nod and accept the t-shirt passed her way.

“I’m going to use your bathroom then and we can get some sleep,” Ambra rose from the bed and brushed past Luca before shutting the door behind her.


Ambra opened the door and stepped into the now completely dark room. Blindly finding her way to bed, she climbed onto her side and got under the covers. Not hearing anything other than her breathing, she turned her head slightly to the left to see if Luca had gone down to sleep on the couch. Her breath hitched in her throat as she Luca’s eyes staring right back at her and quickly turned her head back to stare at the ceiling.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight,” Luca’s voice deep voice broke the silence.

“Why’s that?” Ambra turned her head back to look at him.


With furrowed eyebrows, Ambra opens her mouth to question Luca but is interrupted by a sudden clap of thunder from outside the bedroom window. A squeal erupts from her mouth as she buries herself into Luca’s side. A deep chuckle rumbles from within Luca’s chest as he wraps his tattooed arms around Ambra’s trembling body.

“Maybe we can talk about something else to distract ourselves before we get some sleep, hm?”

“I’d love that.”

Luca reached up to run his hand over the light stubble on his jaw as he lay contemplating. Perking up with an idea in her mine, Ambra spoke with a certain excitement, “what are your dreams? Tell me about that. What did you dream of growing up?”

Luca stiffened underneath her. He hadn’t been asked that question before. Never had anyone asked him what he dreamt of. Even if someone had he would’ve told them to fuck off. But with Ambra, he felt at ease. A sense of calm overtook him as he opened his mouth to speak.

“I dreamt of a life in which I knew who I was and what my purpose was. I dreamt of a life with someone who loved me and a baby girl; cliche I know but that’s what I wanted. Although, now it’s not going so good. Most people want me for sex and I don’t care to look for love either. I dreamt of a mother and father who would support and love me for who I was. I—am I boring you?” Luca sheepishly asked.

“No, no I’m really interested,” she soothingly rubbed his chest before continuing to look in his eyes. The stars shone brightly outside, yet neither of them could find it in themselves to look away from the other. They found the true beauty to be in the orbs they were gazing into. Both finding secrets in the other’s soul and attempting to figure them out.

And that’s how it went. They continued into the very depths of the night until the sun rose. Neither found it in them to get a wink of sleep. Neither of them needed to. Their conversations found a way to keep them awake. Neither of them knew it but they had slowly become wrapped up in one another. Limbs tangled in limbs and hands holding each other.

Neither of them realized that they were becoming a lot more than just friends.

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